Non-uniform day fail

[InMySpareTime]

DS (10) went to school by himself in uniform this morning. On my way to DD's school I passed one of DS's classmates, not in uniform. I asked his dad "Is it non uniform today?" and he said it was a class treat for today, they had a letter from school.
WIBU to not drop everything and bring spare clothes in for DS to change into? I thought about it, and decided he would learn the lesson to give me letters from school, rather than his current practice of shrugging his shoulders and saying "oh, I forgot".
DS is pretty cross with me right now though.
I'm not quite brave enough to post this in AIBU, but do you think this was a good call?

Yes i think you did the right age providing he is older than 4

YANBU. At 10 he's old enough to know if a non-uniform day is coming up and to sort himself out. I bet he'll pay more attention next time.

will he now give you letters from his bag - answer yes if they are school trips or none uniform days.

Tell him it is up to him not to forget and forgetting often makes people cross and this time his forgetting has made him cross.

DH didn't know, the dad I passed on the school run told me.

Yanbu ds is 5 and told me it was non uniform day today - they don't even get letters about anything like that, they just have to remember.

Definitely the right thing. It is tough love! He'll remember next time

Sorry but I completely disagree! It would have been a kind thing to to for your ds. He WILL get more organised in time but in the meantime I would just help him out a bit. I think we all expect our dc to be super-organised and not forget things but sometimes they do. And I'm not convinced your 'punishment' will result in him remembering next time, you've just made him cross with you!

YANBU, my DS is 10, and I would have done the same.

I'm sick of him not organising himself to give me the damn letters! He hides his book bag god knows where, so I can't even go rooting for them myself!

So far, he's been lucky, because Grandma (headteacher!) rings me the night before anything and reminds me

He's got one year before high school, where a damn sight more is expected of them!

Good learning curve me thinks.

I had this but the opposite way on. Non uniform day was cancelled and dd forgot. She was the only one who turned up not in uniform, I didn' t take her home to change. Didn't kill her.

I would probably have taken a change of clothes in if I'd had time. But at 10 he's old enough to be responsible for something like remembering it's dress down day. My dds go on about it for days beforehand and their outfits are organised with military precision (they're 6)

Our school started a text messaging service this year and it's been great. They text us to tell us the newsletter, report card etc are in bag and to remind us of things like parents night, sports day and non uniform days. Has really made a difference and made my life loads easier.

Dd1 did this a couple of months ago. She is 12. She went off to school in her uniform having never informed me about a non uniform day. I then realised half way to work that I was passing lots of other children on their way to her school not in uniform. I think if I'd had time i would have gone to get her something different but I was on my way to work and would ahve been late. She survived. Apparently she was one of 6 pupils in the school containing nearly 2000 pupils that wore uniform.

My friend's ds told her that the non-uniform day was a fancy dress day. He went to school in a full superman costume, all the others were in jeans . He was 7. She realised the mistake as they arrived at school but pretended she didn't and pushed him out of the car with a cheery 'have a good day' and carried on to work. He was most annoyed with her when she picked him up because everyone laughed at him. He survived too, and now makes sure he definitely knows what everyone else is wearing (and she phones a friend to check if he ever tells her he needs fancy dress)

At 10 he's old enough to remember a non uniform day. I won't have done him any harm at all and he'll remember next time.

He's not really cross with you but at himself. He's just taking it out on you. He'll get over it. I bet he's over it by now already.

I think you did the right thing. My DS forgot to tell me twice of non-uniform days when he was 9, the first time he begged me to drive home and get his clothes - I said no! The 2nd time he didn't bother to beg but looked really miserable.
He hasn't forgotten since

I don't have a ten year old but I am sure at that age they should be able to pass a letter to you and surely most would actually love the idea of not having to wear uniform for a day?
He won't forget again after today I am sure! He will be the only child in uniform in his class by the sound of it.

(I know that sounds like I am being mean I don't mean it to I just mean to say it will be even more reason he won't forget next time - small embarrassment)

If the mix-up had been my fault (ie I was the one to forget) I would go home and get clothes. If it was DD's fault (didn't bring home letter), I would leave her in uniform.

My dcs are 7 and 5 and they don't let me forget non uniform.

I think you were right, at his age he should be more organised.

If I had had time, and if he had been bothered and apologetic about forgetting then I might have gone and got him something. If I could have done it without inconveniencing myself at all. But then I believe in people being kind to each other if possible.

I don't buy the "well, he won't forget again" thing. If that worked, nobody would ever forget anything more than once!

I have a 10 yr old - at that age it's starting to get important that they don't just go "meh, I forgot" when it comes to information from school. At secondary (I also have an older one) there's nothing like the same level of parental involvement and they just HAVE to remember stuff. A useful lesson IMO. Obviously if he was ill or something you'd drop everything, but at 10 they have to get used to not always being bailed out.

At 10 I probably would have taken clothes in. What am I saying - I did take clothes in! It was DDs 10th birthday and she had iced buns to give out to her class and the teachers. On the way to school we passed a bus stop with a child stood there in his own clothes but it still did not twig with DD until we pulled up outside school and saw all her mates in their Sunday best. I only relented and took clothes in for her because it was her birthday and she would be the centre of attention in assembly etc.

Now she is 12 I leave her to her fate (see my previous thread about bananas and Guides )

I'm in the 'it's his own fault' camp.

Wish our school had a text service like yours mum23girlys.

goodbutnotoutstanding. Maybe he did survive, but... everyone laughed at him? Could you honestly put your dc in a situation knowing that was likely to happen? Life lesson or not, I couldn't. And I think the lesson there is "my mum let me be humiliated when she could have helped". He's only 7

Come to think of it, today was non-uniform at my own 10-yr-old's school and she didn't even tell me - just showed up at breakfast in ordinary clothes. The juniors hadn't been given a note and were just expected to remember. There have been a couple of times when she hasn't been sure and has asked me to ring her friend's mother to ask, which I'm happy to do. It's part of learning to organise themselves.

Definitely a good call.

I think by that age, my DD would have been quite annoyed if I had helicoptered in with my selection of mufti - how would it work anyway, leave it with the office, get them to send message to class, child changes in loo during morning break? Surely that would be way more embarrassing than them just shrugging it off with their friends (and remembering next time!)

Maybe point that out to your DS if he is still (entirely unreasonably) pissed with you still.