HV advice...not really sure.

[Weezie85]

Ok, so just wanted to ask what you have done, or would do in this position?
My little three week old DD likes to cuddle durin the day. She will happily sit on a playmat for a little while. Sometimes however she will scream and scream Her nappy will be clean, she will be fed, she will be fine temp wise, but will just want holding. Now I had thought nothing of picking her up, neither had DH but the HV said to us we are just creating a rod for our own back. My thinking was its a big scary world for her outside the womb and she is only ickle. Am I creating a rod for ny own back? When did you stop or have you never comforted when they just want hugs?

Oh, it's compulsory to totally ignore anybody that says 'rod for your own back'

then poke them in the eye

My theory is that the more you pick them up, the more comforted and secure they'll feel and the less reassurance they'll need as they get older. That's my response to MIL and I'm sticking to it

I really don't understand that argument and from a health professional too. Of course she wants to be held, cuddled, feel close to you. You small right, you're warm and safe. She is 3 weeks old. Makes me quite to hear this kind of advice. Best bit of mum advice I was EVER given - follow YOUR instinct and CONGRATULATIONS btw

Thanks I was just shocked that a professional would say that about a 3 week old.
BTW I too love Labyrinth and have been singing DD songs like Magic Jump as these seem to be the only songs I know all the words too. Haha

That was meant to read you smell right

Agree with pps, its always ok to offer comfort.. What's the point of childcare otherwise? I hate that phrase, its nearly always uttered by interfering busy bodies who have no business telling you how to parent. HVs are supposed to be there for advice based on fact and experience, not opinion. Ignore and cuddle away!

Ah! Got to love the old school HV!

I'd agree with all of the above but perhaps worth thinking about what she's saying at about 6-9 months and wondering if she might have a grain of truth in her sage like ways. By then you'll be well accustomed to baby's cries and know how to tell the difference.

bloody hell!!
and :(

just cuddle her and ignore the HV.

and keep singing- that's lovely :)

Ignore the HV.

You do know you don't have to see a HV by the way, don't you?

queen - dd is 6 months and i still don't know what she's crying for.
if a cuddle doesn't fix it, a feed usually does.

Well, I cuddled DD too much according to everyone and their bloody dog. At 19m, I'd really like a cuddle off her but she's too busy! They are little for so short a time.
I love this poem, which is called something about a mother to her fifth child:
hope my child looks back on today
And sees a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking,
But children grow up when you?re not looking.
Tomorrow I?ll do all the chores you can mention
But today, my baby needs time and attention.
So settle down cobwebs; dust go to sleep,
I?m cuddling my baby, and babies don?t keep.

Anon

PS DD thinks 'Frankenstien Place' fromthe Rocky Horror Show is a lullaby, so you aren't that crazy :O

Oh Lordy, some HVs are brilliant, others are absolutely useless. If you don't agree, ignore!

Thats a lovely poem. I am glad it isn't just me who thought that she wants cuddles to feel safe.
Oh, Rocky Horror. Of course, I know all those words as well. :)

HV here !! Cuddle,snuggle,love your baby,go on instinct.This is the start of a wonderful relationship with your daughter,getting to know and enjoy her.
Ignore daft comments at all times through her life.

absolutely cuddle her lots while she's tiny and she just wants a cuddle BUT I would slightly diverge from some on here a little and say that when she is going to sleep it is worth allowing her a bit of time just to lay and get settled if you can. I used to lay DS and DD in the moses basket and place my hand on their tummy or forehead, be really close to them but not holding them (also you can do it while laying down yourself) and that would help them go off in the basket.
re songs, I'd forgotten Jump baby jump but will re-instate it immediately plus that one with the red puppets who could take their heads off - how did that go? DS always liked versions of ten green bottles but with his name in the rhyme and DD likes "the animals went in two by two hurrah"...

With a 3 week old, I would do as you are doing. Once they get to around 4/5 months you need to consider if picking her up everytime she complains is useful for you both.

Congratulations by the way :)

What a load of bollocks from the HV! You sound like you're doing really well. If you're up to it and you have time (ha!) would you consider making a complaint about her so that she doesn't spout the same crap to other parents?

You cannot spoil a baby at 3 weeks, or at 4/5 months.

She goes to sleep without the need for cuddles. Will happily lay down at night with her eyes drooping and will settle herself.
Just thought it was crazy advice for such a young baby. I don't think we will be seeing her again as she doesn't run the local clinics.

My hv recommends lots of holding, cuddling, sling wearing etc. do what comes natural to you, follow your instincts.

I pretty much wore both of mine when they were awake for the first three months. They both slept like tops at night - DD1 slept through from 10 weeks, DD2 needed night feeds till nearly one but was a both-sides-in 15-minutes monster guzzler and would go straight back down.

These days I can just about get a cuddle out of them if they're in the mood or I use blatant emotional blackmail - they're 9 and 11.

Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle.

Bonkers advice! Cuddle away. Both mine were like this as little babies. Now I can hardly weasel a cuddle out of the toddler. Little Miss Independance!

Independence. Bloody iPad! All that cuddling has clearly weakened my typing muscles?!

I love lullabies.
DD used to calm down when I sang "Elenore" (by the Turtles) (Elenore, gee, I think you're swell etc)(she doesn't know it's a different spelling )
and Tender by Blur (because it goes "you're my baby, oh my baby, oh aye" or something!)