What would you do if playdate, 4.5, called your DP a 'F****g Idiot'?

[Blu]

a) Say something at the time to the child
b) say something to the parent
c) vow to keep a distance in future?
d) vow to curb your own language while driving before your own child returns the 'compliment'?

Tick all that apply!

We don't allow "shut up" either.

Find "Christ on a stick" pretty offensive, actually! Even if you're not a Christian, it's a bit much to mock someone being crucified, isn't it?

I tick all boxes on this one I think blu.
As Batters and others have said, it's the lack of respect the little guy showed another adult, even thoug I bet it was said in a moment of heightened excitement. I also do think fuck and other strong swearing wrong for children to say, and the more nice grownups who explain why it's wrong coherently and kindly ("don't you fucking swear at ME" a perennial refrain in SE London do you not find ?) the better the message will sink in.
Chucking food on floor also something that would not go down well in my house - dd knows to go straight to the cooler when she does this.
Both children have heard us use bloody and I was mortified when dd hollered "bruddy HOWSE" when she was following me round tidying up
When I say c) though I mean keep a careful eye on what else the child might say/do. I agree with others here that it might be harsh to just cut him out of the picture, it's not his fault.
We try and keep "shut up", stupid and a few other epithets out of the house too, tbh. BE QUIET is just as effective IMO.

Hmm,I'd say a,b,c & d.
I told dd1 who is nearly 2.5,off for telling me to shut up the other day.I've never said it to her & explained that it was very rude to say it.She responded that she had heard me telling one of the farm dogs to shut up.

I had to explain that as he was our dog & being noisy,it was ok for us to tell him off,but that we didn't say it to people.

you say they were playing a game? it could be that this child's imagination got the better of him. In real life, he may well know never to say 'you fucking idiot' to an adult, but in the land of make believe, normal behaviour rules get forgotten.

I am thinking here of my youngest son. He will come out with choice army battle like phrases when he is in the middle of a game. I think he might say something like 'you bloody idiot - run for cover' yet I know he would not normally swear at a teacher or other adult.

I am not saying bad language is excusable but I too think you need to cut him some slack. I assume this was out of character and a one off?

So I'd do a) say something to the child
Not do b) unless the child swore several times Certainly not do c) for now - unless the child's general general attitude was disresptful
And do d)

Not wanting to hijack, Blu, but I was thinking of starting a simlar thread regarding one of my older sons friends. I have known him for years and am old friends with his mother.

The boy (now aged 11) has always had a colourful turn of phrase, helped by his addiction to the horrible histories books, children's poems and fascination with bodily functions. He just likes language.

At age 6 or 7 dh and I witnessed him shouting 'cheesy penis' again and again and collapasing in laughter when in our car. I did tell him to stop, but apart from telling my son (afterwards) that I don't want him to use that sort of langauge in front of other people, I have let it go.

However, this boy now litters his articulate and quite gothic turns of phrase with fuck and cunt -and inventive variations thereof, and I feel I may have to say something to his mum. Very undecided though.

all of them - and no more playdates with THAT child.

Definitely a and b - c would depend on how well I knew the parent and child, and if I knew it was completely out of character or not. D is not an option because we never, ever swear in front of kids - am when anyone does.

tigermoth, regarding your son's friend. Lots of kids are also obsessed with bodily functions. cheesy willy is not an unheard of thing , probably said with an air of cheeky playfulness? However, he should know when to stop & should stop when told. Fck & cnt are defin itely way over the line & it sounds to me that he's seeing how far he could push it. I would def take him to one side & say he has to stop & have a blanket ban on his bad language & threaten to & follow through with a ban (of next visit, not perminant) if he breaks it, otherwise he won't take you seriously. I would also speak with his mum. You could phrase it in a non-threatening/friendly way by saying something likeis he alwys like that/he's taught me some new words/how do you handle it at home, so I could do the same here etc etc.

I can see my lot turning out like him (except for the c8nt.)

Hi ernest, I like the 'how do you handle it at home' idea very much. I am sure his mother wouldn't like to think that he is using the f and c words in someone else's house, but she is also my friend.