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Original poster

What would you do if playdate, 4.5, called your DP a 'F****g Idiot'?

83 replies

Blu · 26/02/2006 15:32

a) Say something at the time to the child
b) say something to the parent
c) vow to keep a distance in future?
d) vow to curb your own language while driving before your own child returns the 'compliment'?

Tick all that apply!

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NotQuiteCockney · 26/02/2006 16:07

I would only avoid the child if he refused to stop using the word, and/or if he was otherwise, in hm's lovely words, a "rancid little weasel".

Rhubarb · 26/02/2006 16:07

I wouldn't avoid, I would just ban him from the house if he said it again. They abide by my house rules or they don't enter my house!

NomDePlume · 26/02/2006 16:09

fastasleep, not just 'anyone', a little child. TBH, i wouldn't want my 3 year old DD to think it was an ok thing to say. If my young teenage kids get a whuppin for saying so much as 'crap', then I sure as heck am not going to take effing from a preschoooler. No siree.

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NomDePlume · 26/02/2006 16:10

arghhhh, meant preschooler (too many oooooooooooooos)

harpsichordcarrier · 26/02/2006 16:14

a, and d definitely
maybe c, but depending on whether this was in character or not. it sounds like a pretty aggressive thing to say, but it might be a one off or just the child repeating something he's heard.

probably not b unless I knew the parent very well indeed

hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 16:17

I'm going to start using the acronym RLW I think.

Greensleeves · 26/02/2006 16:21

All of the above. And fume. And rant to DP for about a month.

eve2005 · 26/02/2006 16:23

when my cousin was 2 he picked up the f word from mom in the car and used to come into her room in the morning and jump up and down on the bed shouting fk fk fk until she got up. he only did it because she reacted, as soon as she started to ignore it, he stopped. now you never hear a bad word out of him (he's 9) and if i swear round him he smirks and waits for an apology!

so in answer to your question a) and d). certainly not c), only b) if i knew them quite well

harpsichordcarrier · 26/02/2006 16:26

blimey
some pretty harsh judgments on a four year old, here
I would cut him a BIT of slack, it's just possible that he might be a TEENY bit influenced by his parents at this age... don't you think?
not everyone is lucky enough to grow up with the "right" environment, and no-one can seriously expect a child of this age to exercise him own judgment, surely?

hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 16:28

HC!

Have you pulled your judging muscle?

Greensleeves · 26/02/2006 16:29

You big wuss

harpsichordcarrier · 26/02/2006 16:29

even I baulk at getting my pitchforks out against someone who can't be trusted not to wet his bed at night yet

Original poster
Blu · 26/02/2006 16:32

He does have outbreaks of RLW-ness - he threw all the bits of food he didn't want from his tea on the floor! But I think his Mum - an arty type - is wholly responsible for his language. I'm not planning to avoid everyone who is a bit of a bad influence, DS has to learn to do what's right for him, whatever anyone else does!

May change my tune if DS becomes a total RLW!

OP posts:
bossykate · 26/02/2006 16:36

a) well probably, but if they're using that language it's because it's been normalised at home for them, so probably a waste of breath.
b) hmmm - probably not bother (see below)
c) yes, yes, yes - i wouldn't want to mix with people who routinely use that language in front of their children.
d) i think both dh and i are pretty well curbed in front of the children - but yes it would make me renew my efforts!

Blandmum · 26/02/2006 16:37

for me the C would bepend on what happened when I did b. If the parent was upset and flustered that a child had used bad language then I would kiss it off as 'just one of those things'.

If they didnt think there was anything wrong in their child using language like that, then I wouldn't want my kid mixing with them or their child.

Heared of too many 4-5 year old s calling their teachers 'Fucking cunts' I'm afraid. Some kids do know it is wrong, and that is why they use it.

hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 16:39

Lightweight, HC. I've been known to judge newborns - incontinent squalling creatures

Greensleeves · 26/02/2006 16:39

spoilsport HC

Seriously though, my ds1 is 3 and I certainly would expect him to know when he is being unacceptably rude. 3 and 4 year olds are much cannier than we give them credit for, in my opinion. He's a cheeky little rotter and he loves to take the p*ss, but he knows where the boundaries are. I'd discourage a friendship with a child who clearly didn't, and I loathe kids swearing.

cod · 26/02/2006 16:40

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 26/02/2006 16:40

I don't think children should swear. It's only when you have some experience of the world that you can do it good and proper.

I'm good at swearing and enjoy it. Nothing like a good swear.

Original poster
Blu · 26/02/2006 16:41

But where could I go Cod? Would we be safe near you?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 26/02/2006 16:42

I remember someone (on here? somewhere else?) saying they'd told their kids that swearing was a skill, and they needed to practice lots before they could do it in public.

cod · 26/02/2006 16:42

Message withdrawn

Greensleeves · 26/02/2006 16:43

God yes I have a mouth like a sewer - but only when the kids are asleep

Blandmum · 26/02/2006 16:43

I'd watch those chickens cod. Nasty flu infested creatures without the back bone to stand up to a simple viral infection

cod · 26/02/2006 16:43

Message withdrawn

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