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Parenting

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Original poster

What would you do if playdate, 4.5, called your DP a 'F****g Idiot'?

83 replies

Blu · 26/02/2006 15:32

a) Say something at the time to the child
b) say something to the parent
c) vow to keep a distance in future?
d) vow to curb your own language while driving before your own child returns the 'compliment'?

Tick all that apply!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

oxocube · 26/02/2006 16:44

Bloody hell martianbishop! Really? That is awful. I am in the fortunate (usually!) position of living in a small expat community where I know all the parents well in my kids' social circles and so I would be able to tell them if anything like this happened and they could tell me. Can't imagine a situation where a 4 year old would tell me to f off or use the c word (not even sure my 10 yr old has ever used that with his friends) Sometimes I am very glad to live in an artificial 'Stepford' community although obviously, it throws up its own issues.

WideWebWitch · 26/02/2006 16:45

ha ha cod. God, some of you are being harsh, really. The f word isn't the end of the world imo.

cod · 26/02/2006 16:46

Message withdrawn

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WideWebWitch · 26/02/2006 16:46

I suppose the c word might get a harsher reaction from me.

cod · 26/02/2006 16:47

Message withdrawn

NotQuiteCockney · 26/02/2006 16:47

My DS1 has recently started saying "idiot" and "stupid". But we're trying to crack down on that, too. Oh, he does say "oh my god", but only when absolutely necessary. And he'll say: "I had to say 'oh my god' because I really love those biscuits."

I think it's really quite funny when small kids swear, but only the first time. After that, it's tiresome or embarassing.

oxocube · 26/02/2006 16:52

this is a thought-provoking thread. For me its not the f word from a kid that would offend (I guess I'm talking older than 4 here as honestly, I don't think my 4 year old knows this word exists), its using it in an aggressive way and thinking he can swear in front of an adult which would offend me more. Its the bare-faced cheek that I find galling, not the word itself which I think, given the frequency with which it appears in films, on tv etc nowadays, is pretty boring.

Nightynight · 26/02/2006 16:55

All.

nooka · 26/02/2006 17:01

If it was just a game going a bit OTT, which sounds like it could be the case, I would just do a) firmly. I would expect to know the family of a 4.5 year old on a playdate well enough to do b) as well if it seemed the right thing to do. If it seemed a consistent patten of unpleasantness then I would do c), and I am sure we could all do d)! (even though I don't drive). It's not the f word that would bother me specifically, but my two (5&6) are under strict instructions about idiot and stupid, because they do know what those words mean, and that they are hurtful things to say.

harpsichordcarrier · 26/02/2006 17:22

yes but gs, your children are lucky enough to have been taught by you and your dh
this child hasn't
i say again, cut him some slack
maybe you could even help to teach him what's acceptable

MaloryTowers · 26/02/2006 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fullmoonfiend · 26/02/2006 17:58

My ds has a best friend and English is not his parents' first language, but they can swear very fluently - and do! Consquently, he has let rip with a couple of words which I am not happy with, but not the f-word and uses 'oh my god all the time.' I told him off by saying that if he enjoyed coming to my house he had better not use language like that as it upset me and I wouldn't let him come again. That seemed to work, only needed to say it once. His friendship is very important to my ds. Haven't said anything to his parents about the swearing but said I had told him off for being cheeky. My son knows quite a few words which he has picked up from school but doesn't neccessarily know what they mean. Had trouble not to laugh when he got told off at school for calling his pencil a 'dickhead' though! (it broke! ) He had no idea what it meant...

WideWebWitch · 26/02/2006 18:09

I REALLY don't find 'Oh my god' offensive, since I don't believe in god. And so as far as I'm concerned my ds is at liberty to use it, as am I.

Twiglett · 26/02/2006 19:15

I don't find 'shut up' offensive

but DS has been taught at school that it is

oh what fun we have when I tell him to shut up and he tells me I'm not allowed to say that

fun fun fun fun fun

Milliways · 26/02/2006 19:39

When I drove home DD's first ever school home-for-tea date we went past a police car:

Friend: Oh no, Old Bill, bet their after me mum!
Me: Surely not????
Friend: Nah...... It's me Dad wot nicks!!!!!!

Fullmoonfiend · 26/02/2006 19:47

WWW - the OMG thing is me being a bit over-precious - it's only cos they go to a C of E school and will get into trouble if they get into the habit of saying it all the time. It doesn't offend me, but it does offend some of the teachers and other parents at school.

batters · 26/02/2006 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Angeliz · 26/02/2006 20:09

A
B
MAYBE C depending, probably not though!
D (though i've never used that kind of language infront of dd, the most she does is ask if 'fickin eejit' is very nice!!

christie1 · 26/02/2006 22:48

I agree totally with rubarb. I do mind swearing and it is a question of respect, for others and yourself. No one is doing the kid a favour by allowing unacceptable behavoir. IF he is not getting guidance and home, he may come to realize what is and is not acceptable. Otherwise, he may nto understand as his invites and friends drop off. Besides, my house, my rules, that's the way it is. He won't be able to go to an office someday and call his co-workers **#### idiots will he. You may be doing him a favour.

cod · 27/02/2006 07:19

Message withdrawn

Twiglett · 27/02/2006 08:22

he's not allowed to say ..but dagnammit I am

ernest · 27/02/2006 09:13

Def a, b & d, poss c. Not just the language, but a don't take kindly to a kid shouting at an adult. I would be more shocked by that than the actual language iyswim, as that's obviously copied & used for shock value, but some little twerp shouting at me or dh in my home....... grrr

Hulababy · 27/02/2006 09:27

(a) and (b)

Whether I did (c) would depend on the reactions received following (a) and (b)

Neither me or DH swear particularly anyway so (d) not necessary.

And I would definitely be shocked at hearing a child that younf swearing in such a way.

Enid · 27/02/2006 09:32

I would be horrified - had never crossed my mind that four years olds might say fucking

actually dd1 did say bollocks for a while when she was 2.5

since then I have modified language hugely

suzywong · 27/02/2006 09:32

I am continually amazed that my ds1 4.10 doesn't Eff and Blind
I do.
I have tried to stop but I just can't. I have explained to him that is is part of my London Dialect and as he is now Australian he must not follow suite.
He says " Bother"
Bless him

in answer to OP I would do a) and d)

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