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Original poster

Grandparents really don't want to look after children tomorrow

45 replies

peppajay · 15/06/2012 20:50

Me and my DH are having a massage and spa day tomorrow that a friend gave us, we are so looking forward to it as we havent spent more than an hour together at the weekend without our 2 children. My parents are looking after the kids but very reluctantly, wish I hadn't asked now and said no to the spa day as they are so not interested in looking after them at all. They find them a chore and a bore (altho my kids do enjoy their company immensely!!!), but my biggest bugbear is just for 6 hrs they will not change their plans to suit a 5 and 4 yr old. They need to go shopping tomorrow and wouldnt do it today or sunday because they do it on a saturday so they will take them with them, fair enough something to do and they will probably enjoy it, then they are going to take them to the posh organic deli cafe for lunch where they don't cater for children and have no biscuits/cakes for children and the drinks are elerflower presse or cherry juice which my kids will not eat or drink!! The deli is lovely and is for people to go for a lovely quiet meal or snack, not somewhere for a 5 and 4 yr old to have a shortbread biscuit and a carton of orange juice, but just for a day they will not take them to mcdonalds or m and s because they are snobs!!! I know they are just going to run riot as they will be bored they are very active kids and take them to a park, or a field with a football and they would love it but they will not do this as that involves them putting their grandchildren first. They say if they are looking after them, my kids have to fit in with them!!!

Really tempted to cancel tomorrow now as all is going to go so so wrong this is why I have never had any time off from my kids before because my parents don't really want to help out!!

In their defence I will say they gave me and my bro the best childhood ever, I have nothing but happy memories and they gave up everything for us and were always busy doing stuff with us, I think that is why now they are like they are because they are so busy having their own life as they put it on hold when they were bringing us up!

So do I stick with the spa day and let my kids cause havoc or cancel it and let my parents doing their shopping and lunch in peace!!!

OP posts:

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rainbowinthesky · 15/06/2012 20:53

As you say they have had their time and sound quite set in their ways. I am amazed you asked them. Cant you get a babysitter?

lovesthesun · 15/06/2012 20:54

Stick with the spa day. Your parents will realise soon enough what they need to do with your kids.

suzikettles · 15/06/2012 20:55

Just let them do things their way and try to stop worrying about it!

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Original poster

peppajay · 15/06/2012 20:56

We have no one else we can ask for this long, that is why we rarely do anything but as we haven't done anything together for 5 yrs and we were given this spa day we took it up. Probably in hindsight the wrong thing. Should have just said no thanks to spa day from the beginning!!

OP posts:

mrspepperpotty · 15/06/2012 20:57

Enjoy your spa day, have a wonderful time and try not to worry. It will be fine!

Slambang · 15/06/2012 20:57

I think if you ask them to look after the dcs you then cqan't complain if they decide to take them to a nice deli instead of McDs' .

If you had a great childhood thanks to your parents, presumably without being catered for at McDonalds, then your dcs might even enjoy it. I'd trust your folks, enjoy your day and allow them to have their day with the dcs their way.

BettyandDon · 15/06/2012 21:00

What a shame they are not more interested. It sounds like they are being so awkward in sticking to non child-friendly things that they are hoping not to be asked again.

I think you will need to somehow find some other volunteers in the future. Maybe also tell them you are sorry it is such a trouble and that you are hoping to find someone else for the next time. It would be interesting to hear their response.

Maybe a childless friend could come to your house or you arrange mutual playdates with some of your DCs friends parents?

BackforGood · 15/06/2012 21:01

Don't change it (and lose your spa day) now, but I wonder why you asked them if you have such a low opinion of their ability to care for your dc ? .

Gumby · 15/06/2012 21:02

I think a nice deli sounds much nicer than macdonalds
It's up to them
Enough your day!

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2012 21:03

They will be fine. I think your a bit precious, children can adapt you know -much nicer to go to a fancy deli rather than McDonalds.

The kids will then get a well rounded experience in life - posh deli with grandparents, other cafes with you.

They will be fine - I don't think they should change their day at all. The grandparent experience is always different.

My gran baked with me every time I went, well I sat on a stool transfixed watching her. Happiest memories I have. Never went to a park

Your children are old enough to realise that people are different.

Go and enjoy yourself.

mama01 · 15/06/2012 21:04

If your kids enjoy being with them don't worry. If the kids are bored they will kick up a fuss and then your parents will soon have to tailor their day to entertain them.

It's only one day, won't harm the kids if that's what you ate worried about. Go and enjoy.

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 15/06/2012 21:04

Doesn't sound that bad tbh. Maybe your DC will just enjoy doing something a bit posh different?

Jinsei · 15/06/2012 21:06

Am a bit :( at the idea that kids can only be taken to MacDonald's and not somewhere nice. If they won't drink the things you've mentioned, can't they just have water instead? And surely there will be something that they can eat?

Also, what's wrong with taking them to the supermarket if that's what your parents want to do. They're doing you a favour, so it's not really fair to dictate what they can & can't do.

If your kids are 4 and 5, I'm sure they can sit nicely in a cafe for a while. If they can't, perhaps it's not surprising that your parents find it a chore to look after them - especially if you're disapproving of how they choose to spend the day.

I think you need to relax and enjoy the spa day and just trust your parents to get on with it.

lambethlil · 15/06/2012 21:06

Go and enjoy yourselves! Your parents will manage just fine- it'll do your DCs good to do non child friendly stuff.
Have fun

OhNoMyFanjo · 15/06/2012 21:07

Give your dc more credit, promise them whatever you have to so tgat you can enjoy your day without worrying.

Original poster

peppajay · 15/06/2012 21:07

My kids love them and love being with them and all is great if we go to their house and my son can go outside and kick a football, and my daughter can look at old photos with my mum, and this was the original plan, to drop them at their house, but this morning my mum phoned to say they usually do shopping and lunch on saturday and if we still want them to look after them the children would have to go with them. I think my mum was hoping I would say 'don't bother then!!!'

OP posts:

MsMarple · 15/06/2012 21:07

Well, if they do run riot in the posh deli you won't have to deal with it, your parents will. But probably your lovely children will rise to the occasion and the novelty of being somewhere new with Grandparents will make them better behaved than normal.

Go and enjoy your day!

nonapandknackered · 15/06/2012 21:08

They sound a bit odd and it's a shame that they don't want to make more of an effort with them, but just leave them to it. As long as you're not worried that they are going to do any harm / be mean to them then your kids will be fine.
Your parents will soon realise their mistake if they do start running riot in the deli, but you won't care as you'll be relaxing in the spa

dietstartstmoz · 15/06/2012 21:09

Go, have a wonderful time. Maybe when you hand the kids over remind them what your kids like/dislike and then leave them to it. They have had children of their own so you know your kids will be fine. If they are bored and lively in the deli cafe it wont be your problem. Let them deal with it. I'm sure your kids will have a great time. Enjoy your break and let them get on with it.

UniS · 15/06/2012 21:11

get over it. The kids will be safe, GPs will be in charge and are quite capable of changing their plans if they realise something is not working. You may be surprised , your little tykes might just behave very nicely having a grown up treat in a new cafe with granny.

lambethlil · 15/06/2012 21:13

The 'phoning to check' sounds a bit pa, I can see how you'd feel they're trying to avoid it. Never mind. The children will be fine and your parents will survive. Don't let it spoil your day!

PenelopeChipShop · 15/06/2012 21:16

Definitely go on your spa day, it sounds like you need it! Even if your kids have a boring day it won't actually hurt them and they are with their own family! They'll be in good hands.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/06/2012 21:19

Just go and enjoy yourselves.

I think you sound very uptight, children don't need cakes and they should be able to behave in a cafe surely?

In the future, why not find a babysitter you can pay to use for things like this? No it isn't cheap, but a couple of times a year wouldn't be too bad and as you say some time as a couple is very important.

ForFoxsGlacierMints · 15/06/2012 21:19

If the kids are bored or play up in the deli then its your mum and dads problem to deal with. Maybe they'll realise then that their schedule is impractical.

Jinsei · 15/06/2012 21:24

I really don't get this idea that children have to do child-centric stuff all the time. I mean, obviously it's important to give them plenty of attention and ensure lots of fun time, but surely it's also important for them to understand that they won't always be at the centre of everything and they will sometimes have to fit in with other people's plans

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