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feel like i am being called stupid and a liar and being ignored!

78 replies

PooPooInMyToes · 11/06/2012 10:18

Crap morning today Sad

My six year old needed to take xyz into school today. I told her and she instantly got The Face! The "i Don't believe anything you say" face.

She looks upset when she is like this but just won't believe me. She'll ask me if i am sure? But what if you are wrong?

I tell her Im not wrong.

But how do you know.

Because i read the letter.

But where is the letter?

I don't know but xyz had to be taken in on the first day back which is today.

How do you know? What if you are wrong?

Im not wrong, i read the letter. Will you just believe me for once!

Etc etc etc

I ended up shouting reading the letter out.

I am sick of this. She doesn't believe anything anyone says and has to see proof. Even things such as if we have run out of cereal, she always wants me to show her in the cupboard as she needs to see it herself. I have actually been refusing to do that one for a long time so that's not an issue anymore.

If we are out in the car she tells me i am driving wrong, going the wrong way, too far behind the car in front. I told her a few days ago that i don't want to hear about how to drive from a 6 year old who has never driven a car!

So anyway this morning i got really angry and was shouting at her that she needs to believe me and that i am not a liar. Why is she calling me a liar etc! That its bloody rude! That i feel that she must think i am stupid. Why is she calling me stupid!

On top of that i had my nearly 4 year old doing the opposite of everything i ask. Put your coat on properly, he takes it off. Don't swing the umbrella, you'll poke yourself in the eye, he swings the umbrella. He either is incapable of listening or is choosing not to, i don't know which. He's worrying me. Some of the things he does are dangerous so i need him to listen. I turn his face to me to make sure he is listening but he will just turn his eyes away!

Sad
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PooPooInMyToes · 15/06/2012 17:11

Hexagonal. Its such a shame isn't it. Its lovely when they don't care what anyone thinks of them and haven't a care in the world, but of course its all part of growing up. Makes me feel for her though. My daughter still runs around naked as well not at all selfconsciously, that will be next to go i would imagine.

OP posts:
Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:11

And if shouting at your children makes you unhappy, I have a simple solution: Don't shout at your children.

More importantly, perhaps it makes them unhappy. Something to think about, maybe?

PooPooInMyToes · 15/06/2012 17:13

Toaster. Im thinking of asking my gp for cbt to help with my anger. I think they do that?

(i have already done this)

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

amillionyears · 15/06/2012 17:13

Toaster24,would you like to start your own thread about things that are going on in your life,or stuff that has happened to you in your past?

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/06/2012 17:13

I do my best to explain stuff to my 6yo, but there are times when I tell him to 'just shut up'. I never get into a row with him, I just nip it in the bud when needs be. He can be very pedantic at times, and DH says that it serves me right Grin

PooPooInMyToes · 15/06/2012 17:15

Sarkywench. That's an interesting idea! (ponders) Smile

OP posts:
PooPooInMyToes · 15/06/2012 17:16

Toaster. Yep agree with million, sounds like you have your own issues.

OP posts:
Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:17

amillionyears

No thanks, I'm fine. A little pissed-off at the abuse I'm getting from the OP. It makes me a angry to hear about the way that she treats her children - I guess that's coming over.

My own family life is great, thanks: I respect my kids and they respect me.

PooPooInMyToes

I missed that.

CBT can be very helpful - what's the issue - depression? anxiety?

Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:18

PooPooInMyToes

My only 'issue' is that I don't like to hear about children being treated aggressively.

It is so much easier for you to turn this around and make it about me, rather than dealing with your own issues, isn't it?

Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:19

FunnysInLaJardin

sometimes I just agree with my 3yo when I know she's wrong. "Perhaps you're right, dear". Easier all round.

LemarchandsBox · 15/06/2012 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PooPooInMyToes · 15/06/2012 17:21

Funny. My husband and i find our daughter tricky sometimes because she goes on and on and on . . . er like me Blush

OP posts:
amillionyears · 15/06/2012 17:23

Toaster24,were you treated aggressively as a child? [not saying PooPoo did or didnt].I think we all have flashpoint issues and or flashpoint words.

PooPooInMyToes · 15/06/2012 17:24

Lemarch Smile i don't intend to. Would rather go and cuddle my gorgeous children.

OP posts:
Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:28

amillionyears

Nope. How about you?

I guess that the OP's post made me feel protective of the children involved (which is silly, given that I don't know them, but there you are). Perhaps that's what's coming over.

Do you think that the childparent relationship OP describes is without its problems?

Do you think that we can help OP or her kids by pandering to her? We could go with, "those little monsters - how do you cope? It's all their fault."

amillionyears · 15/06/2012 17:33

ok,I now agree with Lemarch.She is now only the 3rd person on MN,since I have been on MN 5 months,who I will not engage with.
It is a bit of a shame actually,because I get the feeling that she is not always like this.Indeed I did some search,and she can speak nicely and helpfully.I dont know about these things,but I think you may have a problem that a doctor could sort out.Or perhaps it is as simple as you need ing some probably well earned sleep.

Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:44

Meow.

popsypie · 15/06/2012 17:44

OP - my two daughters are just like you describe. They are mainly like this on a morning when we are rushing. I find "broken record" quite helpful at these times. E.g "you need your wellies because it is raining" I just keep saying it over and over each time they question why they need them! I keep my voice monotone and try and zone out of the situation. However some days I am a bit more "JUST GET YOUR WELLIES ON!!!!!" maybe this makes me a bad mother, but I am only human and I believe kids need to see you flaws and all (to an extent). Life is not full of Mary poppins! Wink

Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:46

Sticking to one-word reminders - "wellies" - is sometimes effective in our house.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 15/06/2012 17:48

I'm a fan of the one-word reminders here too!

Lookup · 15/06/2012 17:50

you need a break this weekend, I get like this on fridays sometimes too - see if you can get out for a few hrs tomorrow morning by yourself? works wonders x

Lookup · 15/06/2012 17:51

meant, I can see how you feel, kids this age are such hard work, mine are 3 and 5

popsypie · 15/06/2012 17:51

Yes I think kind of having a 'script' even if it is just one word gives you something to fall back on in times of stress!

Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:53

Picked up the one-word-reminders from "Getting the Buggers to Behave" (behaviour management book for teachers) which is well worth a read, in spite of the not-great title. I think there's a new edition aimed at parents now too.

Toaster24 · 15/06/2012 17:54

Getting the Buggers to Behave - Sue Cowley
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1441173145/