OK atheist parents - how do you deal with The God Thing?

[Bibulus]

DH and I aren't believers but we don't make a big thing out of it. We made the decision early on to be as neutral as possible in the way we talked about religion with DD, i.e. 'some people believe this, some believe that....'

She prays at school, she knows all about baby Jesus and his mother Mary, although she's probably a bit sketchy on the details of it all and has barely ever set foot in a religious building.

Anyway, this evening she asked to visit the local churchyard, so we had a little walk around, and she was asking lots of questions about the people buried there, why people brought flowers to them etc. Then she wanted to go into the church, and it was open so we poked our head in.

DD was spellbound by it - she said breathlessly, 'why is it so pretty in here mummy?' and asked a million questions about how you talk to god, what does heaven look like, who are the pretty ladies with wings on the wall.....! Then we got collared by the vicar, who was very pleasant and sweet to her and showed her round the church which enchanted her even more.

Am now regretting taking her in there a bit! I didn't want to ruin it for her so I haven't said anything to undermine the idea of god or praying or heaven. Now she is sitting next to me on the sofa practising praying. DH will do his nut!

So anyway, I'm interested to hear how other non-Christian, non-believing parents handle all this stuff?

I agree Seeker - you always get loads of comments along the lines of 'it's only fair to let them make up their own minds', and 'the sort of religion you get at C of E schools is so innocuous it can't possibly affect them either way'.

"I had only one point Cote-you have no idea how your DC will turn out-regardless of the fact that you gave them birth."

Yes of course.

But that doesn't mean you don't bother teaching them stuff that you believe to be in their best interests, and hope for the best, does it?

You are bound to teach them what you think is in their best interests- you just have to be prepared for the fact that they may not see it that way.

I would assume that your DCs spend most of their time with atheists, seeker, mine do.

How can it be wrong to tell them what you believe? I would think it normal, in the same way that you would say 'other people believe'.

The committed Christian should stick to the truth - lots of people don't believe God exists.

I Don't think that my children do spend most of their time with atheists, actually. We are rarer than you think. Most people I know are sort-ofs. Sort-of agnostic. Sort-of Christianish.

I would have thought 'sort of' was fine-I can't say that mine spend any time thinking about it-let alone worrying about it!

You must have very strange children if they don't spend much time thinking about religion, spirituality, the transcendent, life and death and the big questions of life. In my experience, children think about this sort of thing a lot.

I don't find them strange! I think they are too busy doing things.
I had all those discussions with DS1 when he was a 2/3/4 yr old and he had to make sense of his father having died. I think that he got it all sorted out in his mind fairly early.
DS2 is very practical-there is no God-end of -and he simply doesn't like that sort of discussion.
DS3 is very private-he keeps his thoughts to himself on the whole. You can't force these things, we keep the lines of communication open.

If I ask them what they think I am being nosy! General conversation doesn't generally get onto those things-unless something sparks it off.

entropy - I sent you a PM.

seeker i don't think all children think much on those things by any means. i might have, but i doubt my sister did (she'd have been thinking about blowing things up) .....

In my experience most children don't think about those things at all. I've looked after a lot of children as well as my own and I think I can say hand on heart that it's literally never come up. Some people just simply aren't interested - my DH among them.

They only think about them if they crop up IMO.
Sadly DS1 had to ask the big questions- to deal with death. Lots of young DCs asked me questions because I was a widow-they wouldn't have done if they hadn't heard their parent's talking.
I always suggest that when DCs come back from school talking about God or assemblies that people use it to have interesting debates. It never worked for me because had I not known differently I would have imagined they didn't have any religious content.
Maybe it is having DSs- but any attempt to form a discussion from a TV programme or a book etc ended in them looking pityingly at me and saying 'it is only a story, mum, you don't have to take it seriously'!
I have never thought this strange-just pretty normal.

Sorry to hear about your DH exoticfruits, I can only imagine how hard that must have been, especially sharing the experience with small children as well.

Thanks-it was a long time ago. I was pretty amazed by the thought process of a 2 year old but luckily they don't in general have to come across it.
I think lots of children think about things but don't necessarily discuss them-I was very private as a DC and it wouldn't have been something that I really wanted to discuss.

Yes, I guess children do deal with things in different ways, and only have their short experience of life so far to draw on.