"I'll never check down the side of the nappy" and other rubbish you spouted before dc came along...

[Babycameearly]

I'll start - before ds arrived I smugly proclaimed that:

• I'll never peer down his nappy to see if there's any damage
• I'll never do the sniff test
• I'll never give my child a dummy
• I'll never use disposable napies.....

I have done all of the above a few million times and ds is only 12 weeks ;)

My dd has always enjoyed getting sniffed, thinks it's very funny. I saw her sniffing some of her teddies the other day, it's one of her earliest ventures into pretend play.

I'm not sure, I wasn't hugely looking forward to being a parent, so I didn't really have a grand plan .

No co sleeping

Hahahahahahahaha.

I'll never use disposable nappies.
Well, maybe for the first week, but then definitely reusables.
Well, maybe for the first month or so, but then definitely reusables.
Sod it..

My child won't have sweets / McDonalds / watch tv / sleep in our bed / answer back

[hollow laugh of parent of teen]

ooh and no eating stuff in the supermarket before it's paid for. One year old DS1 was always in the trolley chewing on a french stick.

festivalwidow exactly same story here.

I won't be one of those parents who talks about their child's poo all the time.

Did reasonably well until ds got chronic constipation and it was the number one subject for a year or so.

Pre DC I worked in an office. A bloke had just had his first baby and his wife rang when he wasn't about. I asked if I could take a message and she asked me to ask him if the baby had had a poo this morning before he came to work. I was appalled.

Three years later DS1 arrived and I totally understood.

As a pacifist and closet hippie I swore I'd never let my boys play guns. I now spend many a day pretending to be megatron and shooting my sons with imaginary lasers .

We have Nerf Gun battles Klinda.

My mantra from the outset was 'whatever makes life easier... I'm doing it' and I've been 100% successful sticking to it.

My DD is nearly 5.

Before I had her I swore I would not take her to MacDonalds until she was at least in senior school and she would only very rarely have sweets if she had earnt them.

Huh... lastest pretty well with MacDonalds, she didn't go until she was three but now its a regular monthly treat.

As for the sweets.... my MIL looks after my DD three days a week and takes her to the corner shop for a treat on the way home from school. I'm fighting a loosing battle.

Oh my list is endless.
I will never give a dummy
I wont feed on demand, I'll have a routine
My children will sleep in their own bed, in their own room
No junk food
Limit tv and computer time to "educational activities"

14 years and 3dcs later:
They all had a dummy, they fed when they were hungry, routine went out of the window when ds1 came along, they still sleep in my room sometimes(they all camp at the bottom of the bed!)

But, for the most part they are happy, polite children.
My sil is pregnant with her first and her list is longer than mine, I keep thinking I can't wait.....

We were going to do the "no chocolate or icecream until they're 5". But we did BLW and as both I and OH will eat icecream at any and every opportunity, it didn't seem fair to exclude her when she was supposed to be eating whatever we ate.

"No way will my child become a fussy eating toddler".

God, I got sick of peas and sweetcorn when he was 2, but they were the only veg he would ever eat.

"Formula is the work of the devil"

Well, yes, and the companies that make it suck, but when your lovingly expressed breast milk won't freeze/defrost properly and maternity leave is over, it's damn handy stuff to have around.

"Dummies are stupid looking"

Not so stupid as having to keep a finger or nipple in your child's mouth when they're asleep otherwise the screaming is unbearable.

No bottles, no dummies, no sleep training, no shouting.

I don't know whether to be amazed or ashamed that I've thus far succeeded. Give it time though.

As chicken nuggets is one of the few things DD2 will eat, many day trips end up including Mcdonalds.

It was DH letting her have Coke that really put the nail in the "no junk food coffin".

Dp and I will:

Use reusables
Babywear
Say no and mean it
No computer games or games consoles (dp's rule, I'm sceptical)

I invite you back to mock in 7 months time when it all gets put into practice...

Oh I won't bother with those grobags, they're just something else to wean them off...no they are amazing!!

Why do some parents let their children's noses run constantly? Just get them to wipe their noses. Some parents are so neglectful....

My four DC spent their first four winters with snot hanging down from their noses - no matter how often I wiped them.

Why do people think babies are so time-consuming? I will just put the baby in her bouncy chair and get on with things. I wonder what I will do all day? Probably good time to catch up on some reading. Ooh and I can watch daytime shite on TV without DH complaining. Maybe I can find a freelance project or two to keep my brain stimulated.

Er, not so much.

Yes, I was all 'How can new Mums never have the time to shower and get dressed til lunchtime? That is just lazy'.

No BLW, too much hassle, no no no cloth nappies- idiotic making work for yourself. No babywearing- I'll just buy a super duper duper pram and a travel system for the car to do everything with hollow laugh

cringe breastfeeding is a matter of trying. Too trying infact for me and a colicky baby : (

HeartsTrumpDiamonds - exactly what I thought!!!

Have to report that I have just this last hour had a shower AND AND AND AND AND AND made a sandwich AND AND AND AND eaten it all!! DD just been swimming and is fast asleep for longer than 10 mins! It's a miracle I cry!