What thoughts went through your mind after seeing your baby for the first time?

[MandyM749]

I couldn't believe that my partner and I had created such a beautiful, perfect baby girl! I was so overwhelmed and shocked that I had actually been carrying her for 9 months and started crying!

With DD1 honestly I think all I felt was relief. Even when I held her it felt strange. Like being intimate with a stranger...or an alien! . I also felt a huge sense of being completely out of my depth and couldn't believe they let me take her home the next day! The love developed gradually rather than hitting me like a thunderbolt. It was quicker with DD2 as I guess I knew the ropes better and was more confident about things like having her in bed with me, which I know is controversial but was a very bonding thing for us.

He's BLUE! (but crying loudly so I knew he was ok ).

Then I looked at my flapped up EMCS stomach covered in iodine solution.

I though DC1 was dead - the doctor threw this bluish purple cold not moving thing onto my stomach and no one said anything - I think I'd asked for skin to skin and no one else in the room was surprised at the colour hence no one felt the need to point out that he was alive.

"What's that? Where did it come from?? It's a baby! Why are you giving me a baby??!!" Then I threw up

After I got over the initial long labour, no sleep for three days and drugged up doolally effect though, it was all good!

birth -dd1 (aka dd2)... eugh , can someone not clean it first ?

birth -dd2 (aka dd3)... what the fuck ? where is my boy ? they told me it was a boy ? fuck i need a girls name , shit ive got blue clothes with me...then aw but shes really really beautiful ..her skin is all peachy ..and shes got loads of lovely dark hair

birth- ds1 (aka ds2)... is that it ? fuck hes huge ..how did that not hurt ? hey ive got a boy !

birth ds2 (aka ds4) ...omg hes beautiful ...his heads a bit big , his legs are a bit short ...but he looks like dh .

birth dd3 (aka dd4) ...oh shit , no cry , oh shit shes dead , shes dead , oh shit , oh shit , oh shit oh shit , ..omfg shes alive , shes crying , thank you thank you my baby is alive ...oh shit where are they running off with her to ? oh shit , wheres my baby ? ....day later when seen her properly , what are all those wires and tubes for ? , shes so tiny ...please please dont die . why does she look so red ? poor tiny beautiful baby . When can i hold her ?

Oh look at his ear! DH had been holding DS whilst I was stitched up, so he'd been crying and holding his tiny little hand (DS was 6lb 91/2 so quite small). I held him and saw the side of his head and this perfect tiny little ear. He was so beautiful. I don't remember if I cried but I remember feeling hugely responsible for this tiny beautiful person.

"Oh God he looks JUST like your dad, dp!" followed by vague sense of utter panic...

Stranded you may have to link to your birth story, just in case.

With my DS, I was in shock, so I don't remember much. I vaguely remember thinking he was huge, had masses of hair and was very pretty for a boy

With my DD I thought I was having a boy, so was totally gobsmacked . I remember thinking she looked just like her brother.

Yes, Stranded cos it sounds a bit without the explanation.

Ds, I just looked at this placid, big-eyed creature loooking up at me and thought: "I know you."

DD, I thought, "Fuck, that's an angry, red, screamy baby."

Followed by: "Shit! It's a girl," as I'd convinced myself I was having another boy, and "she's got a very squashy face."

I remember when I had DC4 very clearly.
I had lost DD the previous year. I had spent so long in the deepest grief.
I remember that feeling of utter, unspoilt joy when I held him.
It was like a break in the clouds when the sun shines though and warms your whole body.

No happiness is complete after losing a child except this one. When you hold your baby on your shoulder and feel his hair on your cheek and think 'he is mine, all mine'

Probaby why I had DC5 two years later and why I sent OH off for the snip after that. Couldnt risk my broodiness overcoming common sense again

I was thinking "thank goodness it's all over" and "sorry I took so long to get you out"

DC1 - thank god it's out...and oh my god I've had a baby! For some reason it was a total shock to have a real baby in front of me.
I do think with with your first someone should warn you that it comes out looking like a greasy squashed prune. I thought DS was dead! It seems so obvious afterwards that they don't come out pink and dry, wrapped in a towel but that is how I had imagined the whole thing! (I was very young in my defence).
With DC2 I remember thinking how lovely she looked because she delivered so fast she had the most perfect round head and pink features. And then ohmygod she's ginger. She still gets thousands of comments on her hair, it's stunning.

I know it should be all hearts and flowers, but I actually felt quite indifferent to my very wanted and longed for baby.

I couldn't hold DD, on operating table. But looked into her eyes in my husband's arms, and said "Oh hello, its you". Felt and still do like I have known her for eternity.

I just burst into tears. (EMCS)

It was 4 hours before I got to hold DS and then all I could think was - I made you and I'm terrified of breaking you. I felt like that for about a week.

Wondered how DD managed to have her hair styled into a short dark bob prior to her delivery.

Surely it's not meant to be that colour (greyish)

I had twins by ECS at 26 weeks. It was total panic and chaos with the doctors literally shouting orders to each other and running around - I remember counting 13 different medics in the theatre at one point.

As they were born the top guy bellowed "stabilise the baby, let mum have a quick look and then hurry up to SCBU" which is exactly what happened.

I was having breathing problems and was in total shock and just remember looking at these minute little bundles and thinking "please don't die before I have even held you". Thank God they both made it, even though it was a week before I could pick either one up.

8 years later and the memory of that day still upsets me terribly.

"Oh my fucking god, it's a real baby where the fuck did that come from". DH later told me he was thinking the exact same thing. Didn't really feel much at all for the baby at birth, it took a couple of weeks to hit me but when it did I fell head over heels in love.

DS1 - omg it's a boy, he's here. OMG again.

DS2 - does he have Downs? He did.

Really different experiences.

DS1 - "holy crap, its my brother!"

DS2 - "woah, he's huge!" then later, "ooh this one has dark hair" (DS1 is blond)