Does it get any easier?

[ComeTalkToMe]

I'm sure this has been discussed lots of times before but I'm really looking for any help/ reassurance/ support from people who have been where I am now.

My daughter is 17 weeks old and I love her to pieces. I am finding motherhood hard work though and I often feel I'm the only one who feels like this. My DD has gone through some very unsettled phases where she cries a lot and is generally grumpy. This week she's also gone from nearly sleeping through to barely sleeping at all through the night which I'm finding tough. We brought her into bed last night, something we said we'd never do but we needed to get some sleep.

All the other parents I know seem to have settled babies who sleep through the night and I'm ashamed to admit I look on in envy. I'm terrified I'm doing something wrong that is causing her to be unsettled and not sleep and I'm also scared that as she doesn't seem like a happy baby, she won't be a happy child.

I'm spending a fair amount of time crying and getting anxious about this and would love to hear from anyone who had an unsettled baby who turned into a happy child. She does smile and giggle at times but spends more time crying - people had said to me it all changes at three months but we're still here....

Also if anyone thinks I'm missing anything which could help her I'm open to suggestions...

Thanks

Such I think I will be definitely also be guilty of wanting to fast forward - and DH will be no better - we love the age our DS is now!

Thanks for the warning. [bugrin]

Just wanted to check in and say thanks for the further replies.

Had a pretty typical night last night, waking every two hours but this morning just before we got up I was kissing all over her face and she was giggling away and I just though 'yeah this is why it's all worth it!!'

Had a good chat with my best friend about how I've been feeling and she said she kind of knew but didn't want to say anything in case it seemed like she was interfering so we're going to catch up tomorrow with DD and she adores her and still would even if she screamed the whole time!

Also texted a new mummy friend just saying that DD's sleep had went crazy and she sympathised and said her DS was being really grumpy and we're meeting up for coffee later in the week.

Feeling really positive just now and this thread has been a big part of that so thanks.

I know that tomorrow it could all go to shit, but hey that's how it goes.. [bugrin]

Yayyyyy cometalktome sounds like you have really perked up. [bugrin]

Everything is so much harder when you are sleep deprived, so why not get your friend, just after you've fed her one day (baby that is, not friend ) to pop her in the pram and go out for a couple of hours while you get your head down ? It will do you the world of good, your friend will love it, and your baby will too.

Wanted to reply as I got huge support from MN'ers when I posted a very similar thread a while ago. We are coming out the other side now after realising a month or so ago that we needed to take a step back, breathe and try a new way of encouraging change.

DS is now 5 months and we were on our knees a month ago, co-sleeping wasn't working and i was so tired I don't want to recall the thoughts I had. Aside from the reflux which is now under control DS would only sleep on me and needed to feed to sleep. Waking every hour to find the boob was breaking me. I couldn't put him down for more than ten minutes and we couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I felt like I was always the one with the crying child who didn't sleep and was a world of pain. Whilst everyone else seemed to be moving on I was still trying to cope with no sleep and a baby I couldn't put down.

As lack of sleep was our biggest issue we started on a very gentle sleep plan that required me to focus on trying to help him achieve better sleep. It's meant that I am not at as many baby groups as I perhaps expected to be and i still have no idea what he is going to do each night, but, we are getting there and the transformation in everything is incredible.

I sat watching my DS giggling yesterday and realised that Motherhood is not what I expected it to be and i might not be able to do things I want to do but the joy on my DS face is impossible to describe. As he is now getting sleep he is a happier baby and for him sleep really is the key to everything.

I think what I am trying to say is try to ignore your worries of always having the crying child, I honestly believe that people do tend to embellish the truth somewhat and don't use others experience as a benchmark for how well you think you are or aren't doing. Cut yourself some slack.

I didn't believe it but it does get better. I haven't cried for over a week now and my husband is no longer worried about what emotional wreck he might find when he opens the door at night. I know we have a rocky road still ahead of us but I now accept the tough times and find a way to cope rather than beating myself up for not having been able to wash / get to a group / be all things to all people.

Before you know it you will be the one reading the thread asking if it will get better and replying to say it will.