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Original poster

Whole unexpected day tomorrow with toddler DD. What can I do to improve her mood?

54 replies

belindarose · 03/04/2012 20:45

I'm having a tough time with 2.7 yo DD at the moment. She has raging melt downs at the slightest provocation, which is obviously totally normal, but I'm pregnant and probably less patient than usual and am finding it/ her exhausting.

Anyway, we've got all day tomorrow to ourselves. Nobody to see, nothing that has to be done (except a walk with the dog). Any suggestions of how to make this a 'successful' day? Grandparents are coming the day after and we'll all be busy for a week. I want to do something lovely and bonding, but should probably lower my expectations as it's likely to be as difficult a day as they've all been recently.

She is mostly lovely, it's just me that's the problem.

OP posts:

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BigBirdsFriend · 03/04/2012 21:20

All of the rest of us understood what you meant, don't worry.
A 'mr maker' session works well for us, my DD is the same age as yours and I sometimes get two lots of art stuff in on tricky days,
I am having to resort to more bribery than normal with the mood swings too, isnt it odd how some days mrs grumpy stomps out of bed and then the next morning it's a happy bunny skipping to meet you.. Roll on the teenage years for that re run!
X

Wishitwaswarmer · 03/04/2012 21:21

OP - Your title could have been written by me! I am with thisisyesterday in terms of letting them set the agenda for the day. If you can have a day where you don't worry about anything else at all (mess, housework etc) and just ask what your DD would like to do. It requires endless patience but I've found often brings about some really lovely times together.
SSD - in what way are your comments helpful? You have either not read the OP or have not understood it

rhetorician · 03/04/2012 21:25

totally understand the question; could you do something like decorating some eggs (polystyrene ones!) - so doing some sticking and painting? like the idea of baking, but at 2.7 she might not be quite focussed enough. My dd is 3.2 and much better at following steps than she was; making granola is always good - it doesn't matter if she makes a mess. I might try the setting the agenda thing myself in fact.

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EmmaCate · 03/04/2012 21:26

Playing with them is good. I have to force myself to spend a proper half hour playing or reading 1:1 a couple of times a day to get best out of DS. Rest of time I'm distracted by food prep, housework, feeding DD, MN!, and the rest.

He really responds well to this condensed attention. Go for a walk too, for your sanity.

Original poster

belindarose · 03/04/2012 21:29

I think that's what I'm going to do - just whatever she wants for the day. I've had lots of 'no' days recently I feel. Yesterday was particularly awful as I had to fast for a blood test and behaved like a screaming banshee. I never shout normally! At one point she put her hands on her hips, stamped her tiny foot and said 'I'm never allowed to do anything, not ever!' (not true, of course, I'm probably permissive to a fault, but it was a truly awful morning!).

It may well be a day of me playing with her menagerie of imaginary friends and I might wish we'd opted for the cinema!

OP posts:

Original poster

belindarose · 03/04/2012 21:30

She will, however, be forced to walk the dog!

OP posts:

funnypeculiar · 03/04/2012 21:34

Ha - I was just going to add to the 'let her do her own thing' voices. My two still talk in awed voices about the day we didn't get dressed ALL DAY and just sat around and mooched, drew, read stories together on the sofa (& watched a new film together). I just ignored everything 'normal' for a day because I was hungover and did their stuff. It's amazing how much everyday life gets in the way sometimes... Have a lovely day....

Wishitwaswarmer · 03/04/2012 21:34

On the (admittedly few) times that I do the "setting the agenda" thing I tend to turn my phone off, I find it really makes a difference to how much I focus on what we are doing. I don't know if that would be feasible for you but if not turning off then maybe on silent in another room so that you can check it if needed but you're not finding things to do on it. If I have mine on me I know I will answer any call that comes in (even if I know it's not important), start looking at MN etc which means paying my DS less attention. Attention is all he wants, apparently there is never enough! I hope you have a lovely day

naturalbaby · 03/04/2012 21:36

My ds is 2.8 and a total nightmare at the moment. I just want one day where he doesn't moand and whinge every 20mins and wee all over the floor (I'm in the middle of potty training, he's too busy playing with his toys). He's exhausted and slightly under the weather though so a good day for us at the moment is (Calpol!) library, lunch, Cbeebies/movie at home, playdoh/drawing all afternoon.

pushmepullyou · 03/04/2012 21:46

I opened this thread because I too feel a bit panicky sometimes at the prospect of an unstructured day with my 3yo DD

How about a trip to a garden centre with a cafe to buy some seeds and have a cake? You could plant the seeds with her after and maybe get her involved with making something nice and easy for tea. Scones and soup work well here.

SkiBumMum · 03/04/2012 21:52

Krispie cakes are always fun as so easy and no raw eggs to worry about so bowl van be licked (my Sis was v v v poorly with salmonella after licking sponge cake bowl as a kid!). Flapjack for Daddy fun & easy too.

I'd second swimming as it's impossible with a baby as well we miss swimming.

I'm rubbish at making things so don't ever do craft as we get frustrated but painting is ok.

My DD (3.2) loves giving all her teddies a bath. Takes ages!

Is the baby imminent enough to sort out mini vests etc with her? Might make her feel big sister like. Mine was 2.7 when baby came and I found tantrums were all about being scared of her life changing etc. Involving her a bit helped as did looking at her baby pics.

threeleftfeet · 04/04/2012 08:36

Hope you have a lovely day today :)

Iteotwawki · 04/04/2012 10:14

Have a "yes" day! I do this with my 2 every now and again when life gets too much for all of us. With

Iteotwawki · 04/04/2012 10:16

Sorry, posted too soon. Within reason - say yes to everything - games, biscuits, cake for lunch - we love it :) Hope you have a fab day :)

Original poster

belindarose · 04/04/2012 19:50

Thanks to all of you who made suggestions yesterday. We had a lovely day of doing what DD chose. I can't say it was tantrum-free, but we had noticeably more cuddles and I enjoyed the day particularly because I was not trying to do housework and errands around her needs.
She chose:
Giving mummy a bubble bath ( not as relaxing as it sounds, but sweet!)
The route of our dog walk and which of his balls to take (I'd never realised choice of ball was important, but it is, apparently).
Cafe (a lot of wailing as we didn't go to favourite one - too far away and not enough petrol!)
Painting cut out eggs
Tomato soup 'from a tin, not from tomatoes' (!?)
Looking at every one of her baby photos and videos
Playing in her old Moses basket with baby gym (happens to be out as we need to find a home for it)
Several board games to her own rules
Lots of stories
Plasticine (the only tedious part of the day)
Unravelling a kitchen roll and writing numbers on each square.

That's quite a lot for one day. I'm knackered! Fortunately, so is she and she went to bed like a dream.

OP posts:

scampadoodle · 04/04/2012 19:57

Well done. i too used to dread unstructured days with my children when they were that age (and I was pregnant when DC1 was the same age as your DD). It's tiring and some people find it easier than others.

It does get easier, I promise! Enjoy your week with the GPs.

thisisyesterday · 04/04/2012 19:58

sounds like a lovely day :)

Caz10 · 04/04/2012 20:03

That sounds a lovely day and something I wish I'd done with dd1 before no.2 arrived! We are always on a schedule of sorts and I think that gets to them too. Glad it went well!

naturalbaby · 04/04/2012 20:21

we did the farm in the rain/snow, stickers, eating chocolate, big toy shop tomorrow as an extra treat.

Original poster

belindarose · 04/04/2012 20:32

Sounds good, naturalbaby. Hope the toy shop isn't traumatic!!

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birthdaygurl · 04/04/2012 20:39

SSD - stop being a big old biatch meanie

OP- you sound like a lovley mum who cares about having a nice day with your DD. Your preggers and tired. (((hugs)))

Original poster

belindarose · 04/04/2012 20:42

Thanks birthdaygurl. I wrote the OP yesterday and we had a great day today (albeit with the requisite number of tantrums!).

OP posts:

birthdaygurl · 04/04/2012 20:44

Just caught up bel That sounds like a lovley lovley day, your DD is a lucky little lady.

threeleftfeet · 04/04/2012 22:35

What a lovely day. Some great ideas too

Beamur · 04/04/2012 22:42

Bit late to add to this, but playing with water was always a hit with my DD at this age. I have a clean cat litter tray, half filled with luke warm water, add some random kitchen implements, jugs, bubbles and she'd be happy for ages.

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