absolutely furious! but was too gobsmacked to say anything ..

[wannaBe1974]

Not sure where to post this but just need to vent somewhere ...

Today I picked up DS from nursery and we went to the shop. we bought a couple of things, including a packet of sweets that he carried to the till and put on the counter. I'm well known at this shop and everyone knows my DS' name etc. Anyway, I paid for the shopping and while I was doing that my DS said that he had taken off his hat and gloves. I told him to put them on again now to which he said "no". I was just about to say I was going to count to 3, when the woman behind the counter said very sternly "put your hat and gloves on now or I will put your sweets back! do it now!" I was absolutely fuming! but I was so gobsmacked that this shop assistant had the audasity to discipline my child when I am his mother and it is my job to discipline him that I couldn't say a word! I just paid and walked out with my DS.

I am so fuming! not only with her, but with myself for not saying to her to mind her own business! I am the customer for God sake!

Rant over now sorry

She knows you and it's the first time she's interfered .........nuff said! It sounds like she was well meaning but her efforts weren't appreciated. Maybe it would be more productive to have a word with her next time you pop in to the shop. Tbh it really annoys me when people can't communicate directly with those whom they have an issue with.

Not read all this thread but I am pretty sure it would not bother me too much. He would listen to someone else more probably? I know my ds would. Infact I think I would have quite appreciated the help.

I would have been grateful for the help personally. However, was not best pleased myself when shop assistant in M&S told me I shouldn't let my 5 month old suck her thumb and I should give her a dummy or she'd never stop sucking it. She also intimated dd was hungry. Think she assumed I was a first time mum and shut up when I said that ds had given up of his own accord and dd wasn't hungry. So I know where wannabe1974 is coming from I suppose.......

wow had no idea this thread had got so long.

Just to clarify, my DS actually backed away when she talked to him like that - her manner was very intimidating to a 3-year-old imo. He is generally a very well-behaved child and people are always complimenting me as such. I cannot abide badly behaved children and I am generally very strict, his manners are exemplary and he is only 3 - I am very proud of him, and I also like to think that I have played a big part in the fact that he is so well behaved. I wasn't struggling to discipline him at the time I had it in hand, if I'd turned away or he'd disobeyed me without me seeing then i could understand if she'd seen and told him to do as he'd been told, but he was literally standing next to me and we were not in heated conversation, he'd said no and i was mid sentence when she butted right in.

I agree that there are instances when it is acceptable for others to pull your children up on their behavior, but I do not agree that is acceptable for someone to take over when you are already in the process of disciplinning them, especially not a shop assistant who is not exactly a friend or relative. And the thing he had done really wasn't so terrible as to warrant interfeerance, if he'd taken something off the counter for instance then I would have been less annoyed, but him not wanting to put his hat back on hardly needs commenting on by the assistant in the shop at which I am, I might hasten to add, a paying customer.

Wannabe i would have been fuming also. But i can see that this woman ment it in a well meaning way, especially if she is on first name terms, but it was heavy handed in my opinion.

I had a exeprience recently with a friend telling my 1 year old to be quiet in a harsh tone when i was actually in the room with her having a conversation, i was so mad, can't begin to expalin. But yes, like you i felt undermined somewhat, i did not say anything to my friend and am left chewing the whole episode over in my mind, so just wanted to say i can well understand how you feel

Definitely an over-reaction.

Poor woman was probably just trying to help.

I was at a Street Carnival with DH and DS1 (then 3.5) we were walking past a parked police car and the policeman jokingly rushed up to DS1 and in a rather loud voice said "who's been a naughty boy then". My DS was absolutely terrified, it took me an hour to calm him down - but I wasn't nearly as pissed off as you are.

The policeman was just having a joke and was mortified that he'd upset DS. Different strokes and all...

she probably was trying to help you out, but maybe her tone of voice was a bit harsh and upset you?

Message withdrawn