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Parenting

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Original poster

HONESTLY what is life like with 2 children?

66 replies

MzPixielated · 27/02/2012 19:39

ok so i currently have DS who is 4 and i am 30 weeks pregnant. This last year or so it seems as though i have got back to being 'me' as well as a mummy and i have a social life again. should i just abandon this notion with baby number two around the corner? is it THAT financially different? what do you wish you had known before DC2 came along? will every trip to the shops be a planned mission? Be honest!
first thread so please be nice :)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 28/02/2012 11:09

I used reusables with my second and tbh it was no bother. You get used to them very quickly. I've got them out again for this time round, but have a good supply of disposables in to give me a few weeks grace at the beginning. It really is as simple as chucking the dirty nappies in a bucket and washing every couple of days. As far as bfing goes, i know I found it difficult to be pretty much confined to the sofa, so I made dd a little basket of toys and things to keep her amused that I filled every night ready for the next day so she had something to keep her busy. But a few snacks etc in there too

leftmymistletoeatthedoor · 28/02/2012 11:09

I have 3y9m between ds and dd. Ds is 5y3m now and dd is 17m.

The first few months weren't anything like as hard with dd as they were when dd was little. What I foudn hardest with her was trying to get her to feed without being distracted by ds and also trying to keep ds out of the lakes of vomit she did every feed. Other than that it went pretty smoothly. The age gap worked really well and it was just never like the early days 'fog' of when ds was little - life pretty much went on as normal tbh.

Now, they adore each other most of the time and ds is a fab big brother. Dd is a bit of an evil little sister to be honest!

I'd rather go back to dd being tiny again and ds being 3 than being heavily pregnant with dd. Being pregnant + small child = hell.

The3Bears · 28/02/2012 11:12

This thread is brilliant, I am 16 weeks pg and ds is 5 and I have been worried sick about how we will cope and how ds will react, since telling ds he has been so excited and will talk to me about what the baby will need etc and daddy can do the nappies
I feel alot more at ease after reading your stories and cannot wait for ds to meet his new brother or sister :)

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R2PeePoo · 28/02/2012 11:57

OP -yes DD did get a present from DS -some books, a baby with a willy and a little changing mat of her own, so that when I was changing him, she could change her dolly next to me. Also chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

Frival · 28/02/2012 12:16

This is a great thread! I am 12 weeks now and my DS will be 3 years and 9 months when this baby is born. He is so used to being the only one in our house that I have been worried about his reaction to a new little brother or sister. With anyone who has approx our age gap - when did you tell DC1 that there was a baby on the way?

rrreow · 28/02/2012 12:29

Oooooh this thread makes me want to have another one!!!!!!!!! We're planning to, but at the moment I just can't face the thought of being pregnant (DS is 10 months, so no rush)

Iggly · 28/02/2012 13:13

Yes DD got DS a rocking reindeer. But as he was only 2.2 it didn't really make much difference to him - just another present!

When bf, I either read a book with DS (or toy catalogue is popular) or stick on peppa (episodes on my phone). He was a bit put out as he fed until 2 and has asked for some too. It's easier now DD is a bit older, she's happier in her chair for short bursts during which time I'll give DS tickles or cuddles.

Hardest thing is bedtime - I haven't worked it out yet as DD gets tired earlier (around DS bath) and I can't put her down after feeds (reflux/wind), so dh does DS.

juneau · 28/02/2012 14:54

DS1 was 3.6yrs when he became a brother. We took him along to the 20-week scan and once all the tests had been done we brought him in and showed him the baby on the screen - that's how he found out he was going to be a big brother. I almost wished we'd left it even later though - 20 weeks is a long time for a 3-year-old to wait. It was nice him being able to see the baby on the screen though. His little eyes nearly popped out of his head when he realised what it was

Frival · 28/02/2012 15:56

Awwwww - that is a lovely way to do it. I think I would like to do that maybe at our 20 week scan.

I know my friend wanted to wait as long as possible with her 2.5 year old DS but when she met people she knew in the street they would invariably say to her DS "oooh, are you excited about your new brother or sister" so they had to tell her sooner than they wished.

Doitnicelyplease · 28/02/2012 18:13

We told DD when I was 16 weeks, it was at the point I was starting to show a bit and it was being discussed a lot in front of her, so we thought it was only fair to explain what was going on. A 3.5 year old is a lot more aware of what people are saying than an under 2 year old.

At the moment DD just accepts what we have told her and likes to give the 'baby' hugs and kisses, she also insists that she has a baby in her tummy too, she does not seem particularly inpatient for it to arrive though. We are going to discuss it more with books etc during the last two months.

We are planning to give DD the bigger room (now spare room) and use her current room for the baby, as I figure in a year or so she will enjoy having more space to have friends up to play, but does anyone think this will be an issue? We are going to let her be involved in decorating etc so that it is special and do it about two months before the baby comes, but I am worried she will kick up a fuss about the baby being in her room.

Did anyone else switch their DCs room before baby came?

theonewiththenoisychild · 28/02/2012 18:20

Stressful very stressful. My second child is very good he is a terrible 2 at the moment but apart from a few tantrums he is well behaved my daughter on the other hand is not so easy to handle. Its exhausting and stressful and expensive having 2 kids but i wouldnt swap either of them for anything

theonewiththenoisychild · 28/02/2012 18:31

Dd was funny she stopped bothering with dolls bottles and started trying to bf her dolls instead

Kione · 29/02/2012 10:23

I only have one and I haven't made up my mind about having another one and, wow, I wasn't expecting to read this! I have only heard horror experiences from my friends be 18 months or 5 year gaps. They tell me its not twice the work is A LOT MORE etc. Someone said if I had know the second one was going to be like this I wouldn't have had her!! I was shocked and to be honest put me off having another one.

But I am an only child and I don't want DD to be one too. I have ALWAYS wanted a brother or sister, all my life, I don't think a day passed without me longing for one. So, you are making me think again about going for it! :o

But I will wait untill she is in school altough that will be a big gap since she was born in October, she'll start scholl at 4 years 11 months! so she will be 5 by the time I have another one...

Original poster

MzPixielated · 05/03/2012 11:46

im glad people are saying its easier than being pregnant with a toddler because i am exhausted! DS seems to be quite happy about having the baby especially since i mentioned she may be bringing a present with her just for him.
i was uming and ahhing about having another like kione but i knew i would always be what if -ing if i just had the one also i had regular pangs of guilt whenever DS wanted to play and i was just too tired, hes always asked for a sibling.
i think cbeebies will be heavily involved in the early days when im trying to get to grips with BFing...

OP posts:

jasminerice · 05/03/2012 11:53

I love overhearing their little conversations, hilarious and very very sweet. Mine are DD 8, and DS 6, they do squabble, but mostly get on really well. They're lovely!

lovechoc · 08/03/2012 19:17

I find it very stressful at times having two. Sorry to darken the flow of the thread here, but it's just my experience. However, I do not want to paint it black! There have been many fun times, a few teary moments when DS1 has said something lovely about DS2, and it just brightens up your day. Or when DS1 gives DS2 a cuddle, it's really special to witness this.

On a practical note, DS1 was out of nappies before DS2 arrived (3.3y gap) and so it wasn't too difficult. It's hard to divide your time equally between the two of them in the early days when they both need your attention. I've had days where I feel completely overwhelmed by it all, and been in tears because of the situation. Bathtimes I found hard the first couple of months of DS2 arriving. Trying to dry DS1 and DS2 screaming in his cot, these kind of situations...

Shopping trips not very easy with two children - you have to watch the eldest one like a hawk when at the supermarket (IME), I find myself so busy watching what he is up to that I forget what I'm there shopping for.

Saying that, I'm looking forward to the future when both of them are in school and chatting away to each other, developing a lovely sibling relationship and so it's got it's plus points having more than one child. Everyone keeps saying it gets easier!

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