nearly 5yo DS is always 'bored' with his toys - anyone else have a DC like this?!

[lovechoc]

He has an afternoon place at nursery (2.5hrs) Monday to Friday but in the mornings it is very trying, as he is not happy to play in his bedroom with his toys. I'm not happy about him watching TV all the time, so he can play with Lego but he hardly wants to do this either. I end up shouting because I'm so frustrated with him. Have been told he's very bright for his age and at nursery he will only stay for a few mins at each activity. He plays on Cbeebies website for a bit, and I try to read to him but not easy with DS2 (19mo) also wanting attention.

Any ideas??

DS starts school in August this year, which I'm glad about for his sake because at least he'll be focused(!!) on learning and getting into school life. He will be 5.4yo when he starts school (Scottish system).

DS isn't a big fan of toys either. Luckily he has an older sister and likes paying imaginitive games with her. It is hard to keep him occupied when she is not around but he is in school now so it doesn't happen often. I allow a bit of TV and about 1hr on the computer - all the sites he uses are educational really (CBeebies etc). It turns out he does like cooking so I do that with him sometimes.

Don't shout at him for not playing with toys though - if he doesn't like them there isn't much you can do and he is starting school soon so only 6 months to get through!

Oh and the good thing is I don't have tonnes of toys cluttering my house! DD likes art more than toys so she has a set of drawers with art supplies in and we have some lego with a lego table plus sylvanian families but that is about it! Makes it hard at xmas and birthday time but they usually come up with things that they actually use and just have a few presents not loads.

He has friends at his nursery and one of his friends he does see nearby home has the opposite session at nursery (mornings).

Thanks for the advice so far. I don't shout at him every day, just on the days I get so overwhelmed with him being restless and hanging about. DH also finds it wearing...Today I got the lining paper out and just let him use crayons to do whatever he wanted on it. After 5 mins he was fed up :(

I envy other parents who have children who play for at least 20 mins with the one activity be it toys or arts and crafts. I just wish DS1 was like that. It's very frustrating from my point of view because I cannot get anything done.

Nursery staff do not seem concerned that he's autistic or anything along those lines, so it is nothing sinister. He just gets fed up easily! When the weather improves I will send him outdoors to play in the mornings.

The problem is he also says he'd like me to play but unfortunately I cannot play alot of the games because of DS2. DS1 enjoys playing pairs but I only do this when DH is around to watch DS2.

Most of his toys are in boxes, some on the floor. Only a few are in the cupboard. Perhaps I can mix them up a bit and put some away. Good idea, Mutt. Thanks.:)

My DS was like this from being young, couldn't settle to anything, nothing kept his attention span for very long (apart from the TV) and afraid to say he's now 9 and still the same. He is proving to be a very bright boy though, some consolation!

Sounds like you are giving your DS2 a lot more attention that DS1? Are they not playing together? 19 months is not a baby anymore. I know it is hard with two sometimes but if you can find some games they both enjoy you can get everyone involved rather than leave him to do his own thing all the time. Lack of attention span is normal especially in boys. Use the TV and PC for when you need to get things done.

They are probably not getting equal amounts of attention, that is true, but unfortunately DS2 is not old enough to be left to get on with things himself. There's not much I can do about that just now.

Not really sure there are any games that both a nearly 5yo and 19mo can play together, really? DS1 has hurt DS2 in the past being rough so I tend not to leave the room for long incase something happens if I'm not supervising them both.

CPtart - someone else who can relate to this :) DS1 also very bright. Arts and crafts are not DS1's thing. He will scribble on a piece of paper and within seconds he's off doing something else. This was also noted by nursery staff. I do not know anyone else in RL who has a child like this. It is difficult to amuse him and I worry that perhaps I'm not giving him enough activities to do before lunch time.

Maybe I'm missing something but why is ds2 not old enough to be left to play by himself for a while? Surely by letting ds2 learn how to entertain himself now, you will avoid having this same dilemma again in a few years time...

My 14mo happily plays by herself for 30 mins at a time if she's in the right frame-of-mind and has done for several months.

Yes definitely - ds has more than plenty of toys and is lucky to have older cousins that pass down their stuff and kind, god parents, grandparents etc does appreciate toys but their shelf life is very very short and that is for everythings which does make me sad.

ellesabe DS2 does play with toys on his own, but if I go to play a game with DS1 in the same room then he'll try and join in too! DS2, left unsupervised in a room on his own would end up touching cables near the TV cabinet, etc. It would be crazy to just leave him to it!! Or is that just me?!

Why does DS1 have to play in his room - can't he play with his toys elsewhere? You don't have to provide activities - boredom is the seed of creativity.

Also your DS2 at 19 months is plenty old enough to be taught not to play with cables and so on, or just childproof the room. I leave my 14 month old alone in rooms a fair bit (not for more than about 15 minutes, obv) - you should definitely be able to leave him for a while.

Obviously I do leave them both if I need to use the toilet. Although the youngest will follow me anyway, so no worries over him doing stuff he shouldn't!lol

DS1 mainly has all his toys up in his bedroom, and so that's why I ask him to play in his room.

I have some Jolly Phonics workbooks I'm going to start showing DS1 the basics and once he understands will leave him in kitchen to sit at table and work through for 10-15 mins at a time. Hoping this may occupy him for a bit!

Yes, they do play together but only for short bouts. Apart from passing a soft ball back and forth there is not much they can both do together yet. Am sure it will get easier as they get older and once DS1 is at school I will be laughing about all this worrying I'm doing.:)

What does he do if you leave him to his own devices? You say he gets bored but if you leave him being bored then what is his behaviour like?

My DD 3.5yo sometimes says she's bored but I let her be and she simply finds something to do - not necessarily playing, but pottering, drifting around, picking things up, putting them down, following me but I can still do stuff. She doesn't expect me to play with her.

DS1 does expect me to play with him though, that's the problem BsshBossh. If I leave him to his own devices then he ends up getting into bother like being too boisterous with his brother, or constantly talking to me when I'm trying to get on with something. He sometimes helps hang up the washing on the clothes horse once the cycle is finished, so I get him involved in some stuff around the house.

Are you and ds2 downstairs when you expect ds1 to play upstairs?
Can he have some toys downstairs?

Do you prompt any activities or just gave ds1 crayons and paper and expect him to get on with it?

I recently got ds1 a 'How to draw' book which he copies from. He really enjoys that. How about activity books?

I don't expect DS1 to play upstairs all morning, but maybe 30 mins. He does also play downstairs, but it would give me a break too if he played in his room for a bit. Other children seem to play happily in their rooms without any fuss but DS1 just doesn't seem to like it. Have taken on board all the comments so far though, and planning to try a few new things this week coming. I just have been feeling a tad overwhelmed by DS1 being 'bored', and feel under pressure to make sure he's got something to do.

mallinky DS1 just isn't arty crafty, and as I said further up the thread he'll just not colour in pictures (we have tried!!). I have sat with him and spent time showing him what to do but he just does not really enjoy this kind of thing.

Thanks to everyone so far for their advice and suggestions. I appreciate it all :)

Ds1 isn't crafty at all and hates colouring in but he will cut things out of a magazine and glue them to a piece of paper, he loves play dough and likes the using the cutters. He loves any water play (washing his cars in a bowl) and he loves to play with cars, dinosaurs and soldiers.

Might not be useful, just a list.

DS (7) has phases like that... he has this rather annoying habit of asking me 'what should I do?' So I dared suggest 'play with some of your gazillion toys' to which he responded 'I have too many I can't decide'. My reply?... 'well that's o.k. dear, I quite happily can give most of it away'... he left me alone after that and dragged out his hot wheels set LOL

can't you get out and about a bit? Park, walks etc. I'd also support the idea of both children getting to be in the rom with you equally

What about now the weather is getting more mild (I'm in Scotland too) getting out to the parks/taking a walk to feed the ducks etc. you can strap younger ds into buggy so you know he is safe near water. In park, get them running around crazy! I looked after 2 boys, youngest was 20 months and oldest 4.5years. Slightly younger than your older ds but they were able to play in the park together. The younger would just follow older around but older enjoyed taking the lead. Use your imagination, the 'bear hunt' book is good for that. Find a park with lots of nature trails and go! What about bikes? Can older ds cycle? If not, now is time to start learning. Get younger ds a balance bike or even just a 3 wheel that he can go on. Parks are usually well enclosed or at least far from the road. As long as you tell older ds that he isn't to go far ahead then let him be. Hope this helps

DS1 has nursery at 12.20 so they get their lunch at 11.30 each morning. I don't always have the energy to go out walking in the mornings with both of them and then do the nursery run later on. Takes me to get to nursery and back! Find it quite exhausting, tbh. Thank you for the suggestions though Fuzzyduck :)

DS1 has a balance bike he enjoys using when out and about but then I end up carrying the thing back home which isn't great fun with a buggy.

Last time we went to a park I took my eye off DS1 for a second to strap DS2 back into his buggy and the second I did this DS1 had had an accident on the slide (turned out the boy behind him had pushed him near the bottom as he was coming down - both of them together). Ended up with a trip to A&E because DS1 was having difficulty breathing.

MrsBigD DS1 is not threatened by that statement. I have also said the same thing but he doesn't really bother. He is still bored.

I did photocopy pages out the Jolly Phonics workbooks this morning and sat with DS1 and explained what he could do. He sat on his own for 10 mins. It's a start!

Hoping I may have more energy soon to go out and about more often with them both.

Fair do's Mutt. Probably is not right to expect him to play all that time (30 mins) in his room alone. Never really thought of it like that before. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Sometimes the really obvious stuff is easy to miss when you are in the thick of it!