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Original poster

nearly 5yo DS is always 'bored' with his toys - anyone else have a DC like this?!

44 replies

lovechoc · 24/02/2012 15:53

He has an afternoon place at nursery (2.5hrs) Monday to Friday but in the mornings it is very trying, as he is not happy to play in his bedroom with his toys. I'm not happy about him watching TV all the time, so he can play with Lego but he hardly wants to do this either. I end up shouting because I'm so frustrated with him. Have been told he's very bright for his age and at nursery he will only stay for a few mins at each activity. He plays on Cbeebies website for a bit, and I try to read to him but not easy with DS2 (19mo) also wanting attention.

Any ideas??

DS starts school in August this year, which I'm glad about for his sake because at least he'll be focused(!!) on learning and getting into school life. He will be 5.4yo when he starts school (Scottish system).

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MegBusset · 27/02/2012 13:47

I have 2.2y age gap between my DSes so had the same situation before DS1 started reception last year. I certainly would not have expected DS1 to play alone up in his room. There are plenty of things they can do together downstairs.

Lego Duplo - big box of bricks, divided up between them to make houses/machines/whatever
Wooden train set - they can make a big track together or a small one each
Play food/kitchen
Playdoh is a good one too
Get all the little toy cars outside with a washing-up bowl and make a car wash

I felt it was really important for them to learn to play together although yes, there was a large amount of bickering (and still is some days!). Also I would take them to the park every single morning unless it's pissing it down.

MegBusset · 27/02/2012 13:51

Just saw about the nursery run. Is there a park/open space on the way to nursery? If so then make them both a packed lunch and take them to the park, they can have their lunch there after a run around, then you can drop DS1 at nursery and take DS2 home where hopefully he'll give you a nice long nap :)

FuzzzyDuck · 27/02/2012 14:26

That's great about the jolly phonics . Maybe he is just more than ready now for school. I guess that's always the catch 22 with having an older ds (I mean in terms of the school year). Another boy I looked after was born feb so he was going to be the oldest in his class. This time of year just before he was to start school in the aug I felt at times he was bored. He did however love his Lego so would sit for hours playing with it. His brother was only 14 mnths younger so they played good together. He is very intelligent though so we did do a lot of p1 focused things (counting, writing, alphabet etc). He was keen to learn these things. We got some of the first stage work books (I'm sure m&s) sell them which he enjoyed a lot. I know it's difficult when time is limited in the mornings. I think it's just finding things that will stimulate his brain

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MrJelly · 27/02/2012 14:39

Just wanted to say that my DS1 is exactly the same and always has been - he is now 5.7 and still doesn't really play with his toys. Ever since I can remember, he will only interact with something if me or DH were doing it with him (train set, cars, play figures etc.) - it is very wearing so I totally understand where you are coming from. Even now, if we go to the park or play in the garden, he wants to be playing football/cricket with DH - he can't just go off and play. It drives me potty!! I have no advice but it does get a little easier as they get older - he loves reading and will now spend ages engrossed in football magazines/annuals plus, now he is a bit older, I don't feel guilty about him playing on the Wii/laptop for a while.

DS2, otoh, couldn't be more different - he literally will spend hours by himself playing imaginary games with his toys and it is lovely to observe him muttering to himself whilst he is doing it. He spends his life pretending to be Fireman Sam/Postman Pat/Mister Maker and we are all given characters aswell But, again, the contrast with DS1 is clear as DS1 is not keen on playing along with DS2's games and keeps saying 'I am not Elvis, I am '

I guess the summary is that DS1 just lacks imagination and is very much a realist.

Wish I could offer some constructive advice!

FuzzzyDuck · 27/02/2012 16:09

Another thing that I found good was a magnetic board and all the plastic magnet letters/numbers of the alphabet. I would write down a list of words and he would have to go through the pile of letters and copy them. We done simple counting using a bag of carrots or bananas etc. there are also a lot of educational websites that he may find stimulating. Can't think of any off top of my head but I'm sure a google search would list you with some. Once he understands what to do, you may get some time to yourself, plus he is getting the stimulation he needs

Original poster

lovechoc · 27/02/2012 20:07

MrJelly it's just nice to chat to another parent who also has had the same situation, it helps a lot.;)

FuzzzyDuck I will try the magnet letters - next time I'm at the supermarket will go and get some and try your suggestion. I think he'd be up for that! It would certainly be a challenge for him. Thank you :)

I don't expect DS1 to be busy all the time, but I won't ask him to play in his room on his own now as I've taken on board what everyone has been saying on this thread. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do for the best.

Both DS1 and DS2 do play together, don't get me wrong. I have put out the Lego Duplo on the floor and they both play with it for a short time, maybe 5-10 mins, but DS1 is much like what MrJelly was describing of her DS1, really. He likes to have company (Mum or Dad), and as much attention as possible. DS2 however is happy to play on his own for 10-15 min episodes. Very much opposites!

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Original poster

lovechoc · 27/02/2012 20:12

MegBusset thank you also for your suggestions. I've put out the wooden train set but DS2 will destroy whatever DS1 builds up and so DS1 just gets irritated with DS2, and it ends up just a mess. Will keep trying with it though, every so often, and see if things improve.

When the weather improves, I will let the boys out to play in the back garden and I'll sit out with a coffee and magazine and see how things go in the mornings. I personally feel DS1 needs to be in primary but sadly he'll have to wait til August. I think there used to be two intakes per year for P1 but this was stopped a while ago.

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Twirl · 27/02/2012 20:30

My 5yr old loves maze books and dot-to-dot books and can easily spend 30 minutes on workbooks on his own, might be worth a try?

Original poster

lovechoc · 28/02/2012 12:59

Thanks twirl will try that idea out aswell. :)

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TheEpilator · 28/02/2012 13:43

You can't stop going to the park because DS1 had an accident there once! Sorry to sound harsh, but keeping your eye on one of them while buckling the other one into his pushchair isn't exactly rocket science. Accidents will happen but he'll end up getting himself into more mischief cooped up in his room alone than he will at the park or in the kitchen with you making cakes or cutting up bits of paper and gluing them onto cardboard boxes.

It also sounds like your idea of art & crafts is giving him some paper and crayons and expecting him to come up with an idea. Why not give him some ideas, some old boxes and plastic tubs, some glue, some (safety) scissors, some magazines or ask him to make a model or a collage with a theme (autumn leaves, feathers etc). You can be on hand to help him (with your cup of coffee ) but encourage him to do it himself by asking him what he's making, how he's going to do it etc.

If you want him to play with his toys bring down one or two boxes (different ones each day) and you can then teach him about tidying them up afterwards so they're not in the living room all the time, but (as I regularly tell DH when he moans about their toys 'everywhere') it is his house too and he shouldn't just be confined to his room. I know little ones can wade in and ruin the game, but again this is an opportunity to learn about how to behave in that situation and will also strengthen your argument about him playing in his own room sometimes.

Original poster

lovechoc · 28/02/2012 16:23

The Epilator I didn't mean I'm never going to the park again with DS1 and DS2.....What I meant was that I won't be going to the park on my own with both of them on a day when I've hardly had any sleep (it was a disaster of a day from the beginning). And yes, things like DS1 falling or tripping over do seem to happen when I'm not looking for a split second and I'm sure I'm not the only parent in the universe to have encountered this when at the park with more than one child! Sadly the incident a few weeks ago happened at just the point I was strapping in DS2 into the buggy (quite a distance from the bottom of the slide, as the parent of the other child was standing nearby supervising them). I've obviously not made the situation very clear from the off. Nevermind.

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TheEpilator · 28/02/2012 17:56

When you have 2 little ones there will be many days that you haven't had a full nights sleep - if you don't go out when you're tired, you'll have an interesting 18 years ahead!

I just think the tone of your post sounds like its all a bit too much like hard work and you'll be happy in the summer when you can just sit in the garden and watch, but its a long time til summer, so don't wish the days away.

I don't know if you have other issues not mentioned here, but if its really that hard and you're losing your temper with him on a regular basis, perhaps you need to look at your own needs as well as what he needs so that you can be a happier mum for both your DSs.

TheCunningStunt · 28/02/2012 18:08

Did you just miss the cut off for p1? I am ins Scotland to and DS just turned five at the start of feb. We made the cut off and decided to send him to school as he was ready. I am really glad I did. However saying that, he gets in at 330 and is exactly the same as your DS! Bored out of his tree.

I invite his friends around for tea quite a lot as it keeps him amused. Or doing family games for a few mins then letting my dd and DS just play themselves. Aslo things like colouring and playdoh can keep them amused at the table for a good 30 mins at a time.

Ps the weather shouldn't stop garden play. Wrap him up and stick him out. It's also v mild for this time of year. Mine play in the garden a lot at the moment.

Mine have a play kitchen and it's upstairs. I send them off to make cups of tea, toast, cakes etc. and it can take them ages to do it, back and forth up and down the Stairs tires then out too, and you can do other things, but still be involved with them.

TheEpilator · 28/02/2012 18:57

Lovechoc, just noticed you on a thyroid thread - could you be feeling a bit low because of that or other related issues? I know how that feels as I have underactive thyroid and B12 deficiency and I have good days and bad.

Original poster

lovechoc · 28/02/2012 19:17

Well spotted there, TheEpilator. I do have thyroid issues. DH helps out when he can which is brilliant (he is often free to help out weekdays due to working 12hr shifts). Some days are absolutely fine, but I do get lethargic more than others, easily tired after doing most things. I'm not one for doing housework most days besides the what is really needing done.

No, I don't lose my temper on a regular basis. I have shouted at DS1 on a few occasions though, but realise what the problems are now and so I won't be doing that any longer as we've come up with strategies to help with his boredom and I've taken on plenty points from this thread. But thank you for your concern, TheEpilator I'm not needing anger management if that's the angle you're taking...

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Original poster

lovechoc · 28/02/2012 19:20

TheCunningStunt no DS1 turns 5yo end of April so he cannot start until August. Bit of a pain, but that's how it is...

I don't really let DS1 do play dough much because of all the mess it can create. It just gives me more work to do (and anyway, he does a lot of this stuff at nursery so it just seems daft faffing around with it at home when I know he enjoys it at nursery with his classmates).

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TheEpilator · 01/03/2012 09:01

Not anger management choc,but maybe a health check to see if anything else is amiss that could be making you feel so tired/depressed/impatient or whether you need your dosage upped a bit? x

Original poster

lovechoc · 01/03/2012 13:08

Probably it does need reviewed, TheEpilator....will be making an appt next time DH is free to watch the DC...

This week has been such a radical change to the week before, as I'm thinking more about other activities to do together with DSs, not just one or the other. The mornings have been passing by very quickly. Will carry on with this level of enthusiasm next week too. Thank you to all have given me tips, sometimes we just need a nudge in the right direction with this parenting stuff!

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TheEpilator · 01/03/2012 14:38

Well done and sorry for sounding a bit harsh about the park. (I would never usually speak like that in RL, so I shouldn't on here ). Feeling a bit impatient myself as I've been reading lots of posts where OP takes no notice of all the good advice on offer and keeps coming up with excuses, but you're obv not one of them, just a mum trying her best in a hard situation. Good luck with GP.

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