When did children become in charge?

[quitehappywithhubbythanks]

When did the social dynamic change when parents have up control to their children?

News to me.. I'm not aware of this happening. What are you on about?

My children aren't in control. Depends on the parents I guess.

They aren't in control in my house. If they are in control in yours perhaps you should ask yourself why instead of assuming everyone is as bad a parent as you.

Why should adults have all the say? Children have a legal right to be heard. Read the United Nations Conventions on the Rights of the Child.

i really dont want to read the united nations convention, i think it would be a complicated read and not very interesting.

that being said. kids do as i say

I'd say about 20 years ago on the whole.

Who said they weren't in mine. Just an Impression I get

But very definitely not on my watch!!

Sorry but my house isn't part of the UN. It's my house. My son does as he's told or faces the consequences.

He's 2.8. Too young to know what's good for him.

I've told you once, I won't tell you again.

I am reporting you lot to Ban Ki Moon

Even though eldest always asks there is an assumption that I will pay for this or will pick up from that.

Good one Tee, my house isn't part of the UN either.

Just wait till he is older though and his friends are allowed to go to bed whenever they like, join Facebook at 9, get Grand Theft auto also at 9 etc. etc. You will be the boring/strict parent (by other parents).

Wait until he is about 12 though and parents of said kids will be saying how nicely behaved your child is, and why are they having problems with theirs?

Well, I wonder?

'Why should adults have all the say? Children have a legal right to be heard. Read the United Nations Conventions on the Rights of the Child.'

Have done, and I teach it too. It goes hand in hand with teaching them about the responsibilities that go with the rights.
Nowhere does it say ' I have the right to be rude and swear' or 'I have the right to dump my dirty clothes on the floor' or 'I have the right to have everything I demand right away'
I do think that some people are confused about what constitutes the role of parent and are unhappy with the consequences. As are the children.

Have a leaflet.
It's just common sense, no Lord Of The Flies scenario envisaged.
www.unicef.org/magic/media/documents/what_rights_flyer_english.pdf

I really don't think children have become in charge OP.

Not when I'm around anyway, and DS has his rights framed in his room. They don't go against me being in charge.

Having rights doesn't mean a child then becomes in control. Children don't want to be in control, on the whole. They prefer the stability of a responsible loving adult in charge.

Arf at domestic dwellings being exempt from the Geneva convention.

Er, no- human rights tend to apply across the board.

I am perfectly willing to be the boring strict parent. Doesn't bother me in the least.

Except in Somalia and the USA- both counties have refused to ratify the UN Rights of the Child. Any posters in these 2 countries will not be getting a visit from Ban Ki Moon. Everyone else, be prepared.

Dh and I are in charge here!

With rights there are responsibilities which are taught at their Rights Respecting School and they both understand that.

DS1 does think that the TV belongs to him though!

I think that is a man thing though Gossip, my dh seems to own our remote!

Also, tethersend, we obviously were joking about the human rights thing. Having basic human rights and thinking that kids have the right to be in charge and demand to be treated with the same luxuries as an adult is different altogether. General lack of parenting skills and trying to be the child's best friend (ie not saying no when it would benefit the child but would make the parent unpopular) do seem to be very common these days.

Does anybody else have friends who seem to be of the 'let them do what they like' brigade? Do you find it hard to not say anything when the parent then complains about the child's behaviour? Very difficult to say anything without it being seen as a criticism (which it is really).

"there is an assumption that I will pay for this or will pick up from that."

And the response to assumptions like those is 'no'. I find it very effective. :)

I can see any issue with the UN rights of the child. It all seems quite reasonable to me.

I think a huge problem is that many parents lack the parenting skills to manage their kids without resorting to smacking. I think there needs to be more support for learning how to be a good parent.

The trouble Reallytired is that the ones lacking the parenting skills often think they've got it right and the stricter ones are just being boring/old fashioned. Its not till it all goes wrong that they realise they may have got it wrong, by which time it is too late.

My friend who has always let her kids get away with murder can't understand why they don't respect her! And her dh has said that he lets them do what they want (just about), so they love him - aghhhh.

Nope just me and DH in charge round here despite what my DDs think.