Re: good parents. My fucking DD.

[BiWinning]

That's harsh. I adore her but JESUS.

DD is 3, 4 in a few months. She's been ill for a week but is now coming out of it. She's still tired because she barely eats. She's picky regardless, hates soup, hot drinks, any meat etc.

I made her mac and cheese for dinner. She was whining all the way through and eat one bite. I made her Ready Brek and she has eaten one bite of that too.

She is introduced to all the foods she dislikes regularly. I am constantly trying out new recipes with food she likes to no avail. She is thin but doesn't lack energy. She just will not eat. People have told me it's a phase but it's been going on for a year and a half. Even the food she does like is hit or miss and she often goes to bed hungry because she refuses to eat anything.

I am just at my wits end. She cries and protests through every single meal. It's making me insane. I dread feeding her knowing my 14 month old eats everything and she eats a normal portion of one meal in an entire day.

I don't give her snacks other than fruit and I rarely make her something else if she refuses to eat one meal. It's all wastage that I cannot afford.

I am not a good mother. Please help me make her eat. A basic thing like this is eluding me.

My niece was pretty much the same. Only ate sweets, sausages, yoghurt, occasional baked beans, peas and raw carrot. Whilst I don't think her parenting helped much (she ate pretty much every meal in front of the tv by herself, and was given all sorts of junk between meals), I can tell you that she's just turned 16. She passed 8 GCSE's in year 10 (1 B, 5 As and 2 A*) and is taking the rest this year (Yr11 with a couple of BTec/A Level courses thrown in). She'll never eat well/healthily. She freaks at the idea of eating something. But she's a wonderful human being and incredibly clever. Parenting is so hard. That you care this much makes you a better parent than a lot of people. Don't beat yourself up. And don't make yourself ill with the worry.

How do all you lot with really fussy DCs get them to take bloody vitamin pills?

There is no chance my DD would have taken them.

I donot believe in vitamin pills so I don t

Mine have healthy start vitamin drops. 5 drops a day on a spoon or mixed in to food/drink

You should all stop fretting and over analysing what food your DC eat ! Normal child will eat what they want AND need over time.
You are all being way too controlling and will end up with DC with eating disorders.

She threw a fit because you gave her chocolate milk instead of ribena -

You need to back off her, as some have already said. Yes it is a texture thing. Children need to know what they're eating - it's normal behaviour as they develop, a defence mechanism so they don't poison themselves.

If that developmental period is prolonged she probably still has that fear so you really want to give her exactly what she wants for a while and then introduce other things to the plate. When I say introduce, I mean put it there and leave it. If she says I don't like it tell her to leave it on the plate if she doesn't like it. One day she will just pick it up without noticing and eat it.

One trick I use with fussy eaters is to get them to hold something or smell it. Quite often they eat it - their sense of smell and touch tells them that it's safe to eat.

It's not rocket science, but you as a parent have to completely back off, walk away if necessary. Put it all on the plate and be prepared to bin it. Also, make sure cooking smells waft through the house when they're hungry.

Take a look at the 'Incredible Fussy Eaters' thread.

Dr Tanya said that there is danger in letting food issues continue. Eating disorders turn nasty when a child starts to get used to hunger - that it becomes better for the child to be hungry than to be full. It's easier to be hungry because you're not being forced to eat things you don't like, there's no mealtime fuss etc. Then they start sicking it up so they can please you at the dinner table but equally can't bear the feeling of fullness.

Don't let mealtimes become stressful or laden with issues. Also don't give up on mealtimes in favour of a TV dinner.

my copy of my child won't eat arrived Saturday and it's been a real lightbulb moment. makes perfect sense to me and I'm trying to follow it! honestly read it when you can.

All our paediatricians have always advised that a child with energy in the day who can sleep through the night is getting enough food even if it is half the recommended calories for their age.

What we think is thin is often actually the WHO recommended weight as all the dietitians have advised us, as we are used to seeing most children with a nice covering and not with their ribs visible.

Despite this my child did have a medical condition that caused no appetite so if there are any other symptoms or concerns if is worth checking.

camhs - sounds to me as though your paediatricians were telling you what you wanted to hear? The WHO recommended weight is a wide range, the normal range, between underweight and overweight is very wide indeed.

Low weight isn't the issue here - undernourishment is. A child whose appetite is affected is in great danger (as yours was because of the medical condition). Most childrens appetites are affected by psychological issues brought about by various external factors, which fortunately, can be changed and worked on.

Dribbleface the My Child Won't Eat TV programme should be available somewhere, it was shown again recently.