Did anyone just not do sleep training?

[attheendoftheday]

I'm wondering if there's anyone who just decided to never do sleep training, and whether your dc slept through in the end? If so, at what age?

I have dd (nearly 9mo) who's never been a good sleeper, probably up 3-5 times a night. I've never liked the idea of cc, so never did it. I've recently tried a gradual reduction technique (where you comfort while dd is in the cot but don't pick up, then comfort from further away) and it went really badly, dd got very distressed and I didn't follow through. So now we're back to feeding/rocking to sleep, and co-sleeping for the latter part of the night.

I'm not actually too unhappy about how things are going, I get a lot more sleep when I co-sleep than when dd is in her cot. I am going back to work ft in 5 weeks, so not sure how I'll feel then.

Anyway, I was thinking about just leaving things as they are and going with the flow. I feel like I've read every book going, tried every sleep technique (that doesn't involve cc), nothing has made much difference. Surely she will start sleeping more at some point? Is this a terrible idea? Will it make things worse in the long run?

We didn't sleep train. DD started sleeping through at 9mo. She's 2yo now and sleeps brilliantly - 12 hours a night plus a 1.5hour afternoon nap.

I also rocked her to sleep until she was about 8 months when she magically learned to settle herself.

They are all different though, so I can't guarantee it will work for you!

oh, and to put it in perspective, DD was waking a minimum of 10 times a night at 6 months old - needed a dummy and rocking to settle her again.

Nope. Never did. Co-slept until he was about 2 or so. Still went in and lay with him in the middle of the night until just before Christmas when he started sleeping through. He was about 2.5 when he really started sleeping on his own, all night long, in his own bed.

And we sometimes go back to co-sleeping if he's ill or really unsettled.

I don't believe in ever leaving a child to cry, especially not in the dark and the night.

Never did it. I valued my own sleep too much to bother - although it did help that I was a full time SAHM until the youngest was 18 months old. DD slept through at 2 as she BFed till then, DS took longer as he had a bottle until about 2.5 but once I got rid of that he was fine.

Most people don't, I reckon. And a lot of people who do find it doesn't work and just quietly don't mention it again.

Babies wake up. It's what they do. Eventually they stop. It's what they do. You can get stressed trying to fix it or just do everything you can to make it bearable while it's going on. Either way tqkes the same amount of time. One wqy stresses you out- the other doesn't.

I didn't. I didn't need to for ds, slept through from 10 weeks and never looked back

DD didn't sleep through the night until she was well over 1.. at 9months I was still feeding her to sleep and co-sleeping the latter half of the night as you are OP... I also went back to work when she was just over 10 months so in a similar situation. Co-sleeping worked for me because I just couldn't face what would possibly be the worst two or three weeks of my life thus far trying to get her to sleep while still working full time on long shifts.

Eventually though it became a bit of a vicious spiral.. she was well over 1 at this age, probably nearer 18 months when I decided I wasn't going to co sleep any more as I thought my presence was actually waking her up more than she would have done.

Dh has done his fair share of settling since then. Until that point I don't think he had any faith in his abilities to settle her because she'd always been fed/rocked back to sleep which he couldn't do. But she settles really well when he comes in. He says he picks her up for a quick cuddle, kisses her and says "do you want to go back to bed?" and she says "yeah" so he puts her in bed and she goes to sleep. If I try that she wails and wails until I sit and hold her hand for hours on end

Now she's 2.1, if I do go in when she wakes up I give her a quick stroke on her face, hand her her doll and wrap her arms around it, turn her on to her side and say sweet dreams. Usually she asks me to "sit with me" and I do, but I never need to for more than a minute.

It's been a long road.....

Nope - just put them down from day one, let them sleep.... never read any of the "weird books", just used instinct and grandma's advice....

main factor for sleeping through for us seemed to be hunger levels - not hungry -sleep through, hungry -wake often...

Never did sleep training . Ds slept through at 10weeks( 7-530).dd at 12weeks (11-8). Both get in to our bed now age 7 and 5, but dh and I dont wake up

Never heard of sleep training......do they need to be trained to sleep? isn't that something we humans do without even trying? 4 kids, all sleep like logs, and no training.

Not heard of sleep training either, but then, I often read fancy labels for things that people just got on with in my day .
Each baby is different. Each couple are different. People have different tolerence levels to lack of sleep. Some people are OK on short naps, others just struggle LOADS when short of sleep. Some people can't sleep with their dc in their bed. At the end of the day, you have to do what works for you at the moment. You'll think you've got it sussed and your dc will go into a new phase and things will change.

I never did sleep training. We did a mixture of sleeping in her own room and cosleeping until recently. Had to stop cosleeping as new baby is on the way and she was constantly kicking me in the bump. Took a while to get her to accept sleeping all night in her own room but we never did cc or cio, just sat with her and gave cuddles and reassurance for as long as needed. She has started sleeping through most nights now at 20 months old. I plan on doing the same with the new baby, though if this one decides to sleep through from a few weeks old that would be fine with me! :)

It took 3 years but DD3 finally taught herself to sleep through.

Didn't with DD1 - muddled through until she was about 2, did lots of co-sleeping, occasionally had a random solid night. Moved her into a bed, gave her a duvet and she's been sleeping solidly through the night ever since.

However, we did resort to controlled crying with DD2 when she was about 18months. She was needing to be cuddled to sleep and I physically couldn't do it. Felt terrible, against all my principles, but three days later she was dropping off to sleep on her own for the first time and sleeping through.

Not sure what to conclude, really. Still feel happy with how we handled both of them. Seems like a long time ago now - age 6 and 9 - and neither appears to suffer any ill-effects from either approach!

It's scary how much you forget. DS is 2.4 and I can barely remember what we used to do.

I think I remember:

putting him in his cot and stroking/singing/shushing until limp from about 10 weeks.

putting his rainforest mobile on/the shush I'd recorded.

tiptoeing away, trying to remember which floorboard didn't squeak.

listening on the motior and leaping up to repeat when he cried.

Ds was still wakingtwice a night at 9 months, when I was back in work. I refused to give him his second feed; in fact got dh to go in instead, and he dropped it. I think he started sleeping through not long after, but then became an early riser....

Dd is currently 12 weeks and will not go in her cot until she is fast asleep - which means sleeping on me from 7-9. However, once she's there, she goes til 9am with one or 2 feeds, so I'm guessing I'm going to start all over again with this one.

DS1 2.8 still co sleeps and wakes up at night, never sleep trained but now with DS2 3 months, I want to sleep train him, have you heard about a book called Teach your child to sleep by millpond, I have just ordered it myself, haven't arrived yet, just thought I should let you know as I have heard good reviews about the book.

Thanks everyone.

I'm very about those who have babies who slept through early on.

I was hoping for a universal 'we did that and it was fine' or 'god don't do that it was terrible' response. I suppose life's never that simple.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Atually, I may have lied.I seem to remeber lots of evening listening to him cryib"g saying: "is that a tired cry or is he upset? Shall I go up?In a minute."

Can't let dd cry for a minute cos she'll wake ds up.

I it's any consolation, i now can't remember the putting to bed hell. Ds in asleep at 7 and up at 7 (thank you gro clock), so it will happen.

I just muddled through

I did leave them for 5 mins or so if they were just grizzling. Sometimes they settled again but if it turned into proper crying I could never leave them. Sometimes I picked up and put down a few times. I also co-slept on and off but was never good at sleeping with a baby next to me.

my dd was amazing and slept through 7.30-7.30 from 12 weeks! She found her thumb and that was her. My ds however took longer and even now at 5 can wake and sleep walk. They are all different I think.

No. My DS slept through from 7.5 months and he's now a reliable 7.30-7.30 little man at 14 mo. I was beginning to think about sleep training just before he started solids and began sleeping through.

No sleep training here.

DD is 2.10 and still co sleeps with me but sleeps soundly through from 7pm - 8am (sometimes later!). Nothing can wake her - even her 1 year old brother who also co sleeps.
DD slept through every night from about 21 months. Until then, she was a terrible sleeper. Woke up lots, wouldn't settle, wanted to feed all night - you name it!
Thankfully DS has slept through since he was 3 weeks old (apart from illness/teething etc).

They'll both go into their own beds when they're ready but at the moment it suits the three of us to be snuggled up together.

i never sleep trained any of mine, we tried once with ds1 and i was awful, so we just co slept, we have a futon and next to it a toddler bed which is the same height as the futon so once they got to 18mths+ we started putting them down at the start of the night in the futon rather than our bed, they would end up in ours at some point, but gradually they started sleeping longer in the toddler bed, by 2-3yrs they were sleeping all night and then went in their own rooms fine :)

I've only done sleep training at bedtime for both of mine, if they woke in the night I just fed them apart from one or two occasions with DD1 when she was mainly sleeping through anyway. DD2 is 11.5mo and not quite sleeping through yet although we've had a couple of good nights this week.

It's not all or nothing anyway, I wanted to stop being the only one who did bedtimes now she's nearly 1 but I feel like if she's hungry at night I want to feed her.