Did anyone just not do sleep training?

[attheendoftheday]

I'm wondering if there's anyone who just decided to never do sleep training, and whether your dc slept through in the end? If so, at what age?

I have dd (nearly 9mo) who's never been a good sleeper, probably up 3-5 times a night. I've never liked the idea of cc, so never did it. I've recently tried a gradual reduction technique (where you comfort while dd is in the cot but don't pick up, then comfort from further away) and it went really badly, dd got very distressed and I didn't follow through. So now we're back to feeding/rocking to sleep, and co-sleeping for the latter part of the night.

I'm not actually too unhappy about how things are going, I get a lot more sleep when I co-sleep than when dd is in her cot. I am going back to work ft in 5 weeks, so not sure how I'll feel then.

Anyway, I was thinking about just leaving things as they are and going with the flow. I feel like I've read every book going, tried every sleep technique (that doesn't involve cc), nothing has made much difference. Surely she will start sleeping more at some point? Is this a terrible idea? Will it make things worse in the long run?

No sleep training here, and none of my teenagers co sleep at all and I do not hear them cry in the night.

Now, training to wake up, that is the tricky bit...

Sarcasm apart, I actually think they do what they do, when they do it, or not, with little influence from parents. Just enjoy and remember there will be a last time they snuggle in your bed all night.

me.... I have 5 dc, and don't know what it is!

No sleep training here either - DD1 was a dream baby who slept through from 10 weeks and was EBF - but I paid for that when she was 22 months and I was very PG and she started night waking with separation anxiety. I tried CC for about 5 minutes and then gave up . I ended up putting a mattress in her room and sleeping in there, I was so PG it made no difference to my crap quality of sleep anyway. When she woke I'd just tell her quietly that it was OK and I was there and she'd go off again - she slept through again in about 6 weeks.

DD2 (also EBF) was a twice a night merchant until almost 1, she'd take both sides in about 10 minutes and then zone so was clearly hungry. When she started dropping odd just as my milk let down I did pick up-put down where you never actually leave the room (but don't feed them). First night I picked her up about 40 times, 2nd night it was twice, third night she slept through, but I never ever left her to cry.

They are both fabulous sleepers now at 9 and 11.

I co slept with 4 of mine. DH gets up at 4 am so there was plenty of room

dc4 didn't like co sleeping. He liked and still does his own space and would just snuffle and wriggle and not settle til I put him down

at least the cot got some use!

DD2 (dc5) just transferred to her own room in the summer hols. She is 4. Had been in her own bed in our room for about 18 months.

The nice thing is they still all come in for a cuddle - except for ds1, but he is 15!

meant to say.... just do what suits you.

as long as you all get some sleep who cares!

i did the control crying along with the reduction technique with both mine and no problem.

I would put them down, comfort them, read a story, lights dimmed and out, if they cried i would go straight back in comfort them (but not pick up) and say time for bed, the next time back in, comfort them but only saying bed, next time, comfort (getting shorter in time) but say nothing and no eye contact, if crying continues i would delay going in by 30 secs more each time (so leave 30 secs before going, covering up and walking out, next time would be 60 secs then in, cover up and out and on and on and on, sometimes it would be 5 mins before going in but i found that with anything, they "get it" pretty much after 5-8 days

just think if your child wont settle at this age on their own you will have your hands full when they can get up out of bed and come down stairs.

My sister had to lay down with her boy up until he was about the age of 8/9yrs where his sister (who was 18mth younger) was put down and left because she couldn't be in two places at once!!!!

i meant to say, i also have 5 and havent sleep trained, they get there eventually. all our elder 4 who are 12yrs, 9yrs, 7yrs and 3yrs sleep through fine in their own rooms, dd is just 14mths and co-sleeps, she generally wakes once or twice a night, sometimes more but just needs a cuddle and she dozes of again. she goes down in bed awake at 8pmish? or earlier/later depending, just has her milk and a cuddle etc and i wrap her up and lay her down, say goodnight and she goes off to sleep fine, until fairly recenlty i was l ying wiht her till she went to sleep but i just tried leaving her one night and she was fine! i have always just done things gradually as and when, they have all been a bit different but have got there in their own time and WITHOUT tears :)

No sleep training with any of my 3 DCs. They all learned to sleep in their own bed all night most nights (barring illness) eventually. Honestly can't remember all the exact details. All went on waking and coming into our bed as toddlers some nights.

I didn't sleep train as I could never have left my babies crying on their own. But I paid the price as my DDs were 4, 5 and 4 respectively before they slept though the night in their own bed.

I got through it :)

Controlled crying, baby led weaning, sleep training. What in the world is this parenting lark coming to! In my day you just picked them up when they cried and fed them when they were hungry. Sounds like an awful lot of hard work to me . 1 out of 3 of our kids slept in with us until about 2/3, the other two weren't interested!! Go with your instincts.

No sleep training here either.

Ds1 slept 12 hours straight from 4 months and is still a fab sleeper now.

Ds2 fed every 2 hours until 14 months until he just slept 12 hours one night. He still wakes up once periodically but he's sleeping through more often than not.

Never sleep trained. DS tended to wake once at 10/12ish from 18 months but at 2.6 slept through 12 hours. This was shortly after moving him into his own room /bed at 2.4.

they do it when they are ready. I was never disturbed by having him in bed with me, so it wasn't a problem. I still stay until he's asleep though hoping to stop soon, he's 3.4 now.

Never sleep trained. DS tended to wake once at 10/12ish from 18 months but at 2.6 slept through 12 hours. This was shortly after moving him into his own room /bed at 2.4.

they do it when they are ready. I was never disturbed by having him in bed with me, so it wasn't a problem. I still stay until he's asleep though hoping to stop soon, he's 3.4 now.

I've never met anyone who talks about sleep training success, who isn't also quite a horrible person. (Including my own mother.) Not very nurturing, a bit selfish, inclined to scoff at people who aren't like them, think people don't do things properly.

So that decided me, and I did nothing. One slept through at 6m, with the odd spate of waking up when times were difficult (moving house/illness); the other later and more erratically but I know this is normal.

never did sleep training. Mine are now 3 and still come into our bed, but generally don't wake us up. I am doing a sticker chart for them to sleep in their own beds all night. It's taking some doing now, but since I am not doing all the things that small babies require, I feel more able to be up a couple of times in the night and putting them back to bed.

I sleep trained/CC Eyjafjallajokull and would like to assure you that i'm not a horrible person, quite the opposite but as we haven't met, you statement to you is still true :)

I have two adorable DC - DD10 & DD6. I don't look down on people who parent differently to me nor do i make large generalisations of people.

We each are individual and will parent to what suits each other best, taking on board your partner's view and how each child reacts to each situation. As you yourself have noted, no two are the same.

We didn't. DD is 18 months and sleeps on average 10 to 12 hrs a night. Up until about 15 months she was waking once or twice a night and being a nightmare to settle. When younger, she would wake at least every 2 hrs, sometimes every 45 mins in the evening, and never had more than a 45 min nap during the day unless held or slung.

She will now settle herself if she wakes, normally! On the odd occassion she won't, still a nigthmare to resettle at that point oddly. She needs help getting to sleep though, we tend to cuddle her to sleep then put her down.

She will nap anywhere between 1.5 hrs and 3 hrs during the day now, and has just woken up and is summoning me!

Do you go on about your CC brilliance in front of people who haven't slept a night through for months, maybe years?
If not, you're probably fine

"We each are individual and will parent to what suits each other best, taking on board your partner's view and how each child reacts to each situation. As you yourself have noted, no two are the same."

No two children are the same, agreed. But all children need to be secure in the knowledge that if they are distressed, someone will come.

and come i did seeker maybe not at the first point of a cry or as they got older a "mummy" but come i did - as we all know, you can lay them down and as soon as you move to get up from them they will "cry" or make a sound as if to say "stay with me whilst i go to sleep" - whilst this is all well and good in some households, it wasn't in mine. I couldn't allow myself to lay down with one child (maybe 5 mins but more than likely 30 to 60 mins -especially as they got older - before they got off to sleep) thus all the while leaving the other unattended in a different room - and no before anyone chips in, the other awake child would not be in the same room as the trying to sleeping child.

And no Eyjafjallajokull i don't go on about my "brilliance" (as you put it) as i don't think there is any need to, as i wouldn't go on about how i BF (and bottle fed) or weaned or helped my DC grow up so far into well adjusted (most of the time! ) young children, but if someone was to ask on any topic of child rearing, i would comment if i thought it might help, as i did here, hopefully giving/showing that it's not a terrible thing to do IMO

Ok, thanks everyone. IT's really good to hear from people who's babies didn't sleep through until later. I am apparently the only person I know in rl who's baby wasn't sleeping through at 6 months (also speaking latin, dancing the polka and playing the flugelhorn if some of the mums at my baby group are to be believed). I think I'm going to go with my 'no more sleep training/looking for a magic answer that will make dd suddenly sleep for 12 hours' plan. I may live to regret it, but there's no real way to know.