Do you always want another baby or do you know when you're done?

[timeticking]

Hi there,

I am very very lucky - I know that (two boys and two girls). They are all 6 and under. I thought my little one would be my last but now he is 15 months I am starting to think a lot about just one more (need to hurry as just turned 41).

I was just wondering if others knew when it was their last and their broodiness just went away or does this feeling carry on regardless of how many you have.

I am not sure how to decide - I would love another one (dh is happy either way) and siblings are also keen, but I also worry about upsetting the lovely balance we have and am aware of my age/risks etc. So does anyone have any tips on how you make such an important, life-changing decision? How do you decide on something like that? Does anyone have any thoughts they asked themselves which helped them come to a decision.

I know I am very lucky and do count my blessings every day. But I also keep thinking about a fifth child. We are a very happy family and I do make sure I give good quality time to each person in our family. So now to decide whether to go ahead or to walk away from this thought which stays in my mind.

We were lucky enough to get 2 and theres no way I want any more.

Was going to get DH to have the snip, but then one of his cousins lost their daughter to meningitis and it just makes you think if something happened to one of ours would we want another one for them.

I have two. I dreamt I'd have two boys (yes, I know, silly) and I did (although DH wouldnt let me call them by their 'dream' names which I quite liked!). I dont want any more. DH does, but then he wont be the one giving up his time. If i did get pg then I would be happy enough, however the thought of going through the baby stage again (only just got out of it) and having to give up work in particular, just puts me right off. There is time, but I'm tired now and I'm on 37. I dont want to be more tired :) I've never been particularly broody, and whilst the idea of extending my family appeals to me in a sense, the loss of my 'freedom' at this point does not.

similar reasons to lynniep - I have two and sticking with two. I don't fancy giving up any more of my free time to stress about getting pregnant, then worry about the pregnancy if I was lucky enough to fall pregnant, then go through a third round of breastfeeding, back to sleepless nights, etc. No thanks! I'm also just out the baby stage with DS2 and will not be going through all that again. I want my life back, want to return to my career (am 29) and just enjoy the two DC that I have and see them grow up together. Yes there were times several months ago where I was extremely broody and pondered over a third child but now that I'm getting a full night's sleep (most nights!) I am able to think clearly about life - there is no longer that fogginess clouding up my days. I do not want to give up the freedom I now have in the evenings to go out as I please, once DC are tucked up in bed. Looking forward to more freedom as they gain their independence. If I went back to pregnancy I'd feel I was never getting out the bit. Infact, the thought of falling pregnant now fills me with dread!!

Oh, you sensible mamas...that is exactly what my head tells me - time to move on, re-establish career, enjoy the brood I have, get a bit more time for me (although with 4 perhaps not) - thank you for trying to talk sense into me. I will try to go more with my head, I guess. Interesting that one of the most poignant comments was from northern lurker 'op - you don't sound done to me'. No, I don't feel totally there either. But I should be with four - not many people have more than that these days do they? I will take comfort from the fact that some other mums on here don't feel done yet either but have learnt to go with their heads and live with that enduring broodiness. Guess I can live with that too? I think : ))) Thanks everyone - am really enjoying this thread with you.

I think it is easy to forget that child birth does not come without its risks. After Amanda Holden's traumatic birth it does kind of hit home that this urge to have another baby (at 41) is probably not that fair on my gorgeous other four. All would probably be fine but am I prepared to go through all the worry about miscarriage again and the birth. Hopefully that will help next time the idea goes into my head : ) I think I wouldn't be so pre-occupied about it if it wasn't for a dream I had the other night with another baby in the house (little boy with a lovely name). He just seemed to fit in so well with us all - just a dream, I know.

Just came across this thread, and intrigued if you're still on here @timeticking what did you decide??

I have 2 DC and youngest is 5 months. When pregnant with him I really hoped I’d have that ‘done’ feeling but I really do want a third. However, my DH has struggled immensely with fatherhood and his mental health has really suffered. I know he doesn’t want another so it wouldn’t be right for me to push for another but it does make me sad.

Sorry, just saw this is a very old thread!! 😅