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Original poster

Re: 21st birthdays

27 replies

hyperbeans · 08/01/2012 20:32

Did your DD/DS have one? If so:

Did they have an 18th as well?

Did you pay for the whole thing, or was it agreed that you would ask them/they offered to contribute towards?

How long was the guest list?

And how much did it come to?

What did it involve?

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hellhasnofury · 08/01/2012 20:35

Did she have a 21st party? No. She didn't want one. She had a few friends over for a BBQ on her 18th, we paid but it wasn't much.

DS would've rather pulled out his eye teeth with blunt pliers than have an 18th party. I suspect he'll still feel the same on his 21st.

squeakytoy · 08/01/2012 20:36

I didnt have either. The kids didnt have either, simply because they didnt want it and they chose to have a significant present and just go out with their mates, so getting the best of both worlds really.

And many pubs/clubs will not take bookings for 18/21sts now too simply because they are so notorious for being a bloody nightmare and more trouble than they are worth.

Most of my stepkids friends have had a family meal at a restaurant rather than a party, and a nice present like a piece of jewellery, or money towards a car/driving lessons.

ViviPru · 08/01/2012 20:38

My 21st wasn't that long ago honest

I had a brilliant night out with all my pals in the city where I was at uni. My parents visited in the day but I'd never have expected/wanted them to be involved in paying for/contributing to a party.

Guest lists and costings all sound a bit sanitised (sorry)

Unlike my night out which ended up at 3am with me bawling in a bus shelter outside the BBC on Oxford Road, apparently wailing for my Mum

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PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 08/01/2012 20:42

Only one of mine has turned 21 yet (and 18) and he got big expensive gifts for his 18th. He decided at the time he would rather have these gifts than a big party, so we went along with what he wanted. For his 21st I took him and his fiancee and no2 son out to lunch and bought him a token gift, then he got a slightly bigger Christmas present than he would otherwise have had. (I got him and fiancee a Kindle between them for Christmas, his 21st was late November and hers is June so it's sort of for all three).
I think (from what I read on FB) they had a house party with some friends round for pretty much a week around his birthday though
No2 son turns 18 in the summer but wants a posh expensive cookery course of some kind - I will have to start a thread here asking for help with that soon!

troisgarcons · 08/01/2012 20:46

One or the other.~~Although I think I might abolish them - I didnt have either.

EllenandBump · 08/01/2012 20:47

Was married at 17 so didnt have a 21st birthday nor 18th (had miscarried a month previously) so no celebrations. x

LalasMama · 08/01/2012 20:48

Im 21 next month and im not having a party :(

tyler80 · 08/01/2012 20:49

I didn't have a 21st party, in fact I don't know anyone who did so have never even attended one.

No 18th either, although attended plenty of those. They were never formal affairs with guest lists though. Normally just hire of the local working mens club and a dj.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 08/01/2012 20:50

I went out for a meal with my parents, fiance and sister for my 18th, and my 21st went almost unnoticed. I was married with a tiny baby and my then DH was away in Japan with work so it just slipped by unremarked.

Allthesanityinme · 08/01/2012 21:01

I had small things with friends for both.

cocoachannel · 08/01/2012 21:01

I had a joint party with uni friends who turned 21 the same week, then a joint celebration with my sister who turned 18 a few weeks before my 21st, for family and home friends which my DPs hosted and paid for.

StrandedBear · 08/01/2012 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McHappyPants2012 · 08/01/2012 21:06

i didn't have one 21st birthday was a normal day of nappies and housework

Kayano · 08/01/2012 21:08

I turned 21 the day my dad turned 60 so we had a big joint family do in the club

For my 18th we just went for a meal because we were planning a big 21st. My mum took me to Tokyo for my 21st. Was the BEST . YEAR . EVER

Kayano · 08/01/2012 21:09

Oh yes, and DH proposed 2 weeks later. I wish I was 21 again...

staylucky · 08/01/2012 21:11

My mum organised my 18th as a surprise and it was awful, was really mortified...my brothers was a lot more successful as she involved him in the process and he got to invite lots of his actual friends along. Was a local boozer so costs pretty minimal, food, Dj.....oh and a stripper [pukey face]

LifeOfKate · 08/01/2012 21:12

My DC are too young yet. But I had 2
In my defence, my parents are divorced so both parents wanted to throw one each so they could invite their respective families, they were more family parties than friends parties, although I did have a few friends at each as well. They also weren't massive events, just at home, BBQ type parties.
21st was the big one in my family, I can't really remember what I did for 18th.

EnjoyResponsibly · 08/01/2012 21:13

I had one! My mum insisted on it, and paid for it.

My sister took the cash and went on a total bender to California.

AKMD · 08/01/2012 21:17

My 18th birthday - I threw up all day because my brother had given me norovirus

My 21st birthday - my wedding was 2 days before so I was on honeymoon :)

GreatBallsOfFluff · 08/01/2012 21:17

I went to Paris for a long weekend on a coach trip with a friend for a joint 21st thing. Mum and stepdad paid for it for me as a present (£150) and also looked after DD for the weekend. I used my own spending money though.

Didn't have an 18th party either but then I'd rather have gouged my eyes out.

ElizabethPonsonby · 08/01/2012 21:17

For my 18th my parents paid for me to go to Eurodisney for a weekend. I was going anyway, so they just covered my costs! Also had a big party at home when they were away for the weekend

For my 21st I had a party at my house when at uni, and a family lunch in a nice restaurant which was quite amusing as it was part of a hotel and we had a massive dining room all to ourselves so we could be as loud as we liked

Tuppence2 · 08/01/2012 21:25

For my 18th, I had a small house party in our old house as my mum was in the process of selling it to move in with my stepdad. It was a pyjama party theme and about between 15-18 people attended (10 stayed over night) mum put on a gorgeous buffet and provided meat for one of my mates to do a bbq and bought a decent amount of drink without going ott, and left us to it!

My 21st was a small buffet dinner for me, my bf at the time and 3 other friends, with a gorgeous cake before we all went for a night out in town... And then then next day we had a family tea.

I'm not a big fan of big birthday parties, so these were perfect for me, but I believe if I had wanted a birthday party for one of them, my mum would've obliged.

sparkle12mar08 · 08/01/2012 21:42

I had a meal out with my mum and dad for my 18th. Mum died six weeks later and I was pretty estranged from my dad by my 21st, but he did throw me a small bash in the local pub which most of my family came to. It wasn't a fancy event though and was a bit strained frankly.

I don't think big do's are necessary, but they are becoming the norm these days.

Rhubarbgarden · 08/01/2012 21:45

My 18th was a meal in an Italian restaurant with a small group of friends and my then boyfriend. My friends were all shy vicar's daughters who didn't drink or know how to talk to boys, and they remained mute all evening. It was excruciating. In answer to the question, my parents paid.

Jakeyesq · 08/01/2012 22:58

Mine definatly wasn't long ago at all.
My 18th was a weekend away with 3 friends ( paid for by my dad), me and him then went out for a meal as well. I went out with my friends as well.
21st I spent in a bedside vigil in a hospital - definatly didn't celebrate at all (but think I might have done same as 18th - meal with dad and out with friends.)

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