What do you wish you'd known before you got pregnant/had children?

[Pippaandpolly]

This is a little bit a shameless plug for my blog but mostly a request for help from more experienced mums. I blogged this morning about things that noone tells you (or that I didn't know, at least) before I got pregnant:

pippaandpolly.wordpress.com/

Two of my close friends are currently pregnant and I've been thinking for a while about writing them a sort of survival guide - tongue firmly in cheek but with some sensible advice in there too, including something along the lines of ignore all advice! My blog post forms the basics I think but I've been thinking all day about other things I've forgotten. I wondered whether the collective wisdom of Mumsnet might help! So, as per the title, my question is, what thing/s do you wish you'd known before you got pregnant/had children?

Thanks in advance :)

I think it can be both - completely fulfilling and completely dire - sometimes both in the space of a half-hour.

Actually, some books on parenting/baby care etc. are very helpful indeed. The idea that we all parent instinctively is rubbish. Yes, we instinctively want to protect and nourish our child, but how to do all that is entirely learned behaviour. And what we've learned from our own experiences of being parented isn't always the most effective or indeed kindest way to approach child-rearing.

By all means read parenting books, but do it with an open mind - some of the things they suggest will be ideal for you and your LO and other things not. Take the ideas that feel right to you and don't dogmatically follow any one method all the time - one size definitely DOESN'T fit all when it comes to babies and small children.

Formula milk isn't the devil's own brew.

Playing can be boring.

Stitches hurt more than childbirth.

Do not make or attempt to fulfil grand plan like moving house or emigrating with a small, reflux stricken baby.

You will feel always feel guilty for something or other when you have children, whatever you do.

Wish I'd known that co-sleeping is so lovely, when I first had my first DC. Wish I had listened to my mother on this. I co-slept with my first after 6 months and regretted not doing it earlier. co-slept with my 2nd from day 1 and for me, it's one of the best things about being a mum...cuddling a small warm body and being able to kiss their soft pillowy cheeks several times during the night...ahhh.

Giving birth is the easy bit.

Wish I'd known just how relentess and sometimes boring parenting can be.

Wish I had read the book "The womanly art of breastfeeding" before I had my first DC. It would have helped me BF him. I was misinformed by HCPs and failed to BF him. Needless to say I read it before I had DD and knew exactly what to do and to expect.

that HVs know less than me about infant nutrition.

Wish I'd known that some children won't sleep through for years. My DS, now 3yrs is slowly starting to sleep through.

That everyone has an opinion about how things 'are done', BUT you have to cherry-pick the best bits for you/ your family and try not to worry/ beat yourself up about the rest. Easier said than done though.

Oooh, and friends with babies similar ages are a lifesaver. If you don't have any, find some ASAP.