I think I broke my little boy's heart tonight. He's 5.

[gaelicsheep]

When he was asking about his half sisters. They are both grown up, live hundreds of miles away, their relationship with their dad, my DH, is tolerable but not particularly close or warm with much mucky water under the bridge. We as a family are really not a part of their family.

He wants his big sisters to love him and care about him and to be frank they just don't, not really, not in a meaningful way. There are no birthday cards or Christmas cards or any real acknowledgement of his existence, or my DD. I was trying to explain to him that they are not close any more and that they won't ever be a big part of his life, or him theirs. I think I got it very wrong and he ended up in tears.

It is paining my DH just to hear DS talking about them. I always swore that I would never lie to my children, so I will not tell DS things that aren't true just because it's what he wants to hear. How on earth do I handle this without hurting DS any more?

i actually wonder sometimes if my sisters are mners

Thanks HalleysWaitress and ChippingIn. It's interesting to think of it from the pov of the age difference, because that really is a large part of this I'm sure. Somehow I need to convince DS that none of this is any reflection on him. He really does think about things an awful lot and he takes things to heart terribly.

Really must go to bed now (as I say every night!)

LOL - me too

The age gap changes the relationship - but they should treat him like a nephew if not a brother. It's not his fault and they are adults, but I suppose having been brought up by someone as destructive as their mother, it's not surprising they can't get their heads around it all :( Very sad how she's done this to them especially when she was the one who left.

Try to remember how intense DS was about your DH's Dad - yet that phase passed, this one will too.

Now try to get some sleep!

I've gone to bed already. Not even here.

Me either... figment of your imagination I am....

just wanted to quickly post and say that my dad's half siblings are 25 and 27 years younger than him, his brother is actually younger than my DH.

When they were little Dad didn't see them very often, and although he liked their mother and them, and was friendly when he had contact with them, they didn't feature very highly in his life (although there were Christmas cards exchanged, and we got presents from "Granny" (their mum) even after she and my grandad had divorced).

Anyway, we are now all as close as we can be despite distance. Dad talks about them as his brother and sister, and speaks to his brother probably fortnightly either by phone, email or text and we see my uncle and his partner several times a year. We have a bit less contact with my aunt, just because she is quite a private person with everyone, not for any particular reason.

DU loves being a great-uncle to my DS, and his mum is DS's great-granma as far as everyone is concerned, which is lovely for us all, and as she is the same age as my Dad DS will get to know her for a long time I hope, which I think is a real treat with GGPs.

We're all off to spend the weekend at her house on Saturday morning, for her birthday, and I'm really looking forward to seeing them all.

So I suppose I just wanted to say that things can change, and although your DS probably won't be able to think of that as a positive it might help you and DH.

So sorry your DS is so sad about it though.

Thank you ImpYCelyn. I have tried to steer DS away from the topic this evening. Wasn't too hard when we got his Beast Quest book out.