So honestly, how much time do you spend entertaining your 2-3 year old?

[Tortoiseinadarkspell]

I mean vs 'benign neglect'. Can one do benign neglect at that age, or does it just mean 'putting on cBeebies'?

Because my DD is almost three, and on my days home with her I spend pretty much all day actively entertaining her. I do do housework and errands and things as well, but the housework is a constant battle of 'just wait a second DD while I unload the dishwasher and then I'll come play' and actually on some days I end up unloading/reloading the dishwasher in several stages, breaking to help her do something or read her a book or whatever in between. Or I have to make up games that allow her to join in.

DH, by contrast, tends to be on his laptop when looking after her. Not all the time, that's unfair, he also takes her to the park or shopping or gets her involved in helping with some carpentry project, but if he's with her in the evening or gets up with her, he tends to let her just 'be around him', sort of thing. I think it's rude, but I can't ignore the fact that when she's with him, she's much, much more inclined towards independent play because she doesn't expect his undivided attention. So, I don't know.

I'm not complaining, it's just that when there's threads about it's good for children to be bored, etc., I wonder what age people mean. I do try and get DD to play on her own a bit, and to 'stretch' the intervals of independent play, but we're still talking a few minutes at a time. I've always believed that it's better to give young children time rather than stuff, and I'm strict about TV, but have I turned into a helicopter parent without noticing? By this age, should she be more willing to be ignored?

These idea's are fabulous!!! I'll be putting them to good use over the next few days.
I'm encouraged by the idea that DD wont be this difficult in this way forever.
Thanks everyone.

Another vote for benign neglect here I'm afraid. My DS is 22 months and entertains himself for up to an hour at a time whilst I'm on the computer / on the phone / doing chores etc. Partly because I'm not great at playing either (I second the poster who's only really good for chasing / tickling / hiding really!) but I try to give him a couple of spots every day where he gets my full attention (reading a story, counting things, etc) and we have great chats when we do stuff together, which as a SAHP is most of the time. As a result he's pretty independent and very imaginative, we tend to do stuff alongside each other if you know what I mean. I.e. I do the washing up, he cracks on with emptying a cupboard... it works. I really actively enjoy his company and feel like he's entertaining me most of the time instead of the other way round. He's a pretty laid back kind of a person though - that helps!

Ha, Octavia, oh, she knows. Her intention is to do all the cuddling, nappy changing and feeding herself. She has to help with absolutely everything, and has minor meltdowns if I'm doing something she can't help with. So, she gets involved in the cooking, for example, but if it's something that entirely involves sharp knives and hot pans, heaven help me.

This is actually a very charming trait most of the time, but what I'm anticipating is that she will want to cuddle the baby when it cries and then have a paddy when I have to take it back off her and walk it around.

An hour at a time at 22 months while you're on the computer...see, that's just a different world than the one I live in.

LovelyBath, thanks; she's in nursery three days a week because I work those days, and we're keeping her in there, so it'll be manageable. All tips gratefully welcomed, though. The idea of swimming does sound blissful.

Tortoise, has she her own cooker and pans and things? It might not work but it did for DS - whenever I started to go and cook the dinner, he'd go to his own cooker and start cooking up his plastic dinner at the same time. Might work? The cooker I got for DS is from Toys R Us, and is relatively inexpensive - takes a bit of putting together but is ok - the two hob rings are battery-operated for light and noise: one fries, the other boils. I think it's ok for what I paid for it - saw it in our local Toys R Us the other week for (I'm pretty sure) $39.99 which is $10 less than I paid for ours last year! Can't find the exact one online (Australian websites - pah!) or I'd show you the link.

I think every child is different. My daughter is 3 in jan and she will happily play by herself for hrs. My son also 3 but he seems to constantly need someone to interact with. I think its down to when I was heavily pregnant id set up activities with him that i knew would mean we would be sat down in one place and i could rest my huge ankles.
But to be honest with them being so close in age they keep each other busy most of the time, until a fight breaks out!

Thumb - yup, I made her one for her second birthday () and she also has her own play power tool kit, but neither of those are nearly as satisfying as Actual Helping Of Parents.

She's actually a pretty good cook; she can break eggs neatly into a bowl, break broccoli into florets, stir and measure and knead. She just gets cross when I won't let her play with the good knives.

Eek! DS does seem to think he is another adult in the house, I have to say - perhaps your DD has similar delusions? [w

duh! at the end (DS got involved!)