If you're a SAHM do you wonder what image of womankind you're giving your daughters?

[cupcakesbakingonanopenfire]

I've never felt any ill feeling towards being a SAHM (I'm the first to defend it as a wonderful career ) but I had my first hesitation this morning. Dd (who's 3 in Feb) told me to leave the sitting room (she wanted to watch cbeebies) as it was her programme and I should go in the kitchen and 'do cooking.' The tv (she said) was hers but 'this yours, mummy' she said pointing to the hoover.
Great!

I don't have a dd as yet but I would hope that by being a SAHM she would see that there was a choice. I would hate to think that my dst thought all mummies stay at home because we have friends who go out to work and dst have said that they like me being there for them.

I would also hate for any dd I have to feel that she is nothing unless she has a job and that her career is the only part of her as a person that is worth something.

I was cleaning the kitchen floor yesterday and DS (almost 4) strolled casually up and said "mummy you're cleaning the floor.....that's your job". Gaaahhhh. I'm a WAHM but I take care of the kiddiwinks during the day and work at night so he doesn't see that bit, maybe I should let him help???

MI is right about not confusing childcare with housework I Think. Looking after children is a splendid and worthwhile thing to do, and whether you're paid for it or not is completely irrelevant
Given that I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home and look after my daughters full time, I am pleased and proud that they will see I have made that choice - because it is a valid choice and one that I would make again and again without a moment's hesitation.
(BTW I have a friend who is a WOHM and a GP. Her husband is a nurse. Her ds, whi is 2.5, refuses to accept this and insists very vocally that daddy is the doctor and mummy is the nurse. you can imagine this makes her incandescent.... stereotypes are powerful things)

I also think it is very much about what your chidren see you doing and saying.
my dd's don't see me doing a LOT of housework tbh. They do see me reading, singing, playing music, organising things, running the household and Holding Forth on My Strongly Held Opinions to all and sundry.

nice post marsy

I am a WOHM, the daughter of a SAHM. Personally, I don't feel that my own expectations of what was open to me as a potential career were influenced by the fact that I never saw my own mum go out to work. To some extent my expectations were conditioned by my socio-economic background (my dad was a skilled manual worker in a rural part of the country) so I had no idea of what jobs like 'management consultant' or 'marketing officer' entailed!), but for the most part my parents made me feel that the world was my oyster, and they instilled in me the conviction that education was all. (I am now a university lecturer... so that bit of instilling obviously worked ).

My own kids see me going out to work, but it doesn't stop them taking in gender stereotypes from the world around them. It was only after a visit to A&E that I was able to convince my dds that all doctors weren't male and all nurses female! Now dd2 (3) wants to be a doctor! But dd1 wants to be a childminder (which is as close as she gets at the moment to a SAHM, as she claims she will never get married and have children due to the fact that 'boys are horrible').

We all make our own choices about whether to stay at home with our children or continue working, and I don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of which is the best choice. I think we should try to give our daughters the sense that when they grow up they too will have a choice. That's the key thing, for me.

dd1 used to have a toy briefcase (copying me!)

I think this question is equally relevant to all of us actually, not just a sahm thing.

I'm ashamed to say that I was embarassed about my mum being a SAHM because she'd gone to drama school before that and I didn't think parenting or housework was real work (boy have I changed my mind). Maybe I felt guilt for stopping her from being a star on Coronation Street. Now I'm really proud of her and think she was a fantastic mum - I still ask her for advice on the smallest things, and she's even better on the big things. I've chosen to be a working mother myself but have a DH who really pulls his weight and spent several months working part-time. I hope dd sees us as equal to each other.

thank you