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Parenting

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Original poster

dd up & down out of bed constantly

28 replies

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:07

Grrrrr just need moral support with this.
DD (2.4) changed to a bed a week ago, and the first couple of nights were tough. I used to sing Five Green Bottles every night before putting her down, on the 2nd night I decided to stop doing this as it is of course positive attention, and did the silently returning her to bed thing. At 5am I was doing it for an hour and a quarter! But it worked, she got out of bed once the night after because she fell out of it, but not again until last night, when my boyf was over just before bedtime, which of course is all very exciting!
Silent treatment wasn?t working (for all of 10 mins but my boyf was getting v jittery by then esp as it was my birthday), so we ended up using the naughty mat, he tried once too, which of course didn?t work at all. In the end what worked was a real threat that her doggy (security teddy) be taken away, having taken it once, she came out distressed, I gave it back, then she didn?t leave the bed till 5:15am but went back again ok ? albeit screaming!
I am v v pissed off at having to break the pattern of what?s supposed to happen, as tonight I have decided to stop Five Green Bottles and have a bedtime story instead, all went v well, but she has been in & out constantly for 15 mins now? all I am doing is literally walking even behind her back into her room, not even looking at her, and shutting the door, not even putting her in bed? She has started giving a cry when I leave her there now, but comes straight out?
Does this mean it?s starting to work? How long can I expect this to go on for and will it be every night?
She just said ?Lie down? ? she wants me to lie her down like I originally was & is screaming when I don?t. Should I lie her down? Aggh grrr! Bloody p?d off that last night happened the way it did? bloody boyfs!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Feistybird · 13/12/2005 20:08

Star charts - works albeit sporadically with my DD2.

santabops · 13/12/2005 20:09

the promise of chocolate in the morning works with ds - very convenient with his advent calendar!

Curmudgeonlett · 13/12/2005 20:10

stop dicking around and changing the routine every night

go back to rapid return and stick to it .. consistently and if your bf can't take it .. don't let him come round till after she's in bed

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Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:11

I really can't do anything like that now, i think it's too late, she is still crying every time I leave her dumped on the bed, sometimes i put her there, sometimes i watch her walk to the bed, I am getting rougher with her too she is sensing my anger i think which is not a good thing. I should just continue the way i am right now, no?

I am exhausted this week & just need to relax!!

ooh...silence.... success??

OP posts:

Curmudgeonlett · 13/12/2005 20:12

why not?

Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:13

curmudg - oh yes i know that, i knew that last night too.
i want to know what to do right now, or at least some moral support, keep going she'll give up types thing

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 13/12/2005 20:13

She just needs a couple of days to get used to the new routine. Have you explained to her that a new routine is going to happen? Might be worth a try if you haven't.

Decide on your routine and stick to it. If she gets out of bed, take her back, put her back into bed, and walk out of the room again. It'll drive you to distraction to start with but stick with it, and eventually she'll get the hang of it.

For the sake of a peaceful bedtime, though, it might be worth not using the naughty mat or threatening to take her security blanket away from her. Certainly removing the security teddy is something that will probably make her more likely to kick up and keep getting out of bed.

Stick with it - it will be worth it in the long run.

Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:14

How would a sticker thing work anyway? She wouldn't get it till the next morning, she has them anyway for getting dressed too...

OP posts:

Curmudgeonlett · 13/12/2005 20:14

well hopefully she'll sleep soon but if not and she bounds out of her room you could sit outside her door and just hold it shut and do cry it out for tonight

and take a break tomorrow .. do something to chill yourself out .. and go back to rapid return when you can

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 13/12/2005 20:15

It's very very hard, but keep going. She will not come to any harm and it will work. BUT you do have to be consistent with this, once you have a routine try to stick with it and do not relent. My ds tries this on every month or so and we have to do the cc thing again, but it does work. Tonight will be the worst, she will probably wake up and cry again soon, but once tonight is over, well you're halfway there, tomorrow night should be a lot easier!

Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:16

Exactly Wigwam i agree with all you said, that's why i was not happy last night! I wanted a fresh start tonight cos I realised we upped the ante with taking doggy away last night. I explained new routine, she was happy with it, had nice bedtime story etc....

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 13/12/2005 20:18

It's just a case of sticking to your guns and keeping up with the new routine. It's hard work to start with but once she gets the hang of it you'll be fine. Honestly - this will pass.

Then it's on to the next major problem!

Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:19

It's all a game to her now, she's grinning & running down the hall...

I have a feeling I should have stuck with Five Green Bottles for now.
It's a nightmare. Why didn't i leave her in the cot!!!! She has been a wonderful sleeper since cc at 6 months, talking herself to sleep etc...

OP posts:

TheFish · 13/12/2005 20:20

shout at her an take her to bed fgs

tell ehr off
you only have yourself t o blame imo

Curmudgeonlett · 13/12/2005 20:21

well you've made your own bed

you really need to find the patience to go back to rapid return and stick with it

Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:21

doesn't work, that's why it all went wrong last night.

OP posts:

TheFish · 13/12/2005 20:21

yes

WigWamBam · 13/12/2005 20:21

Stern voice, serious face, get her back to bed now and tell her that she is to stay there.

TheFish · 13/12/2005 20:23

and sit outside the door
don ot talk
t akea book

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 13/12/2005 20:23

Get on her level, tell her to stay in bed, take her to bed and then come out. Do not reason with her, say as little as possible and do this everytime she comes out of her room. Do not raise your voice or say anything else. Just repeat it like a mantra. She'll get the message.

snowfalls · 13/12/2005 20:27

Start as you mean to go on, it's the only way, your in control, you are the parent, she will learn that soon enough as long as you stand your ground.

WigWamBam · 13/12/2005 20:29

And stay calm ... if you lose your rag then she's got entertainment on tap as well.

Original poster

bourneville · 13/12/2005 20:31

Thanks everyone.
Tried stern voice "Stay in bed", she got out again, so stern voice "There will be no stickers or chocolate tomorrow if you get out of bed again." She seems to have stayed put!

Perhaps if I'd used stern voice & stay in bed mantra all along it may have worked sooner.
I think she is out of bed but isn't daring to open the door....
It's been an hour.

OP posts:

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 13/12/2005 20:34

Stick to saying the mantra, it bores them to death because they know exactly what your reaction will be, it takes the fun away.

followthestarlover · 13/12/2005 20:34

just leave her. even if she is out of bed... she is in the room at least. check in a little while and if she is asleep on the floor just pop her back into bed.

it won't take long for her to get used to the new routine/bed.
have you watched any house of tiny tearaways? they do rapid return on there and there was one little boy who got out of bed 70-odd times the first night! next time it was only 20, and the next it was once!
So, it will go in... just be consistent, as the others have said. And the less you say to her the better! don't give her ANY attention

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