I am having massive problems with my 6 year old son and feel our family is in real crisis. He has always been challenging but lately, both dh and i seem to have lost all control with him. He shouts, throws tantrums and hits. He frequently laughs in our face when asked to do something and has so much attitude. Today, as I was changing dd's nappy he was smacking me hard on the bum. The other night he called me fatty. I am more worried about my reaction. I am normally placid but I found he pushes me so hard and just now after 1 hour of trying to put him to bed and him playing up, waking up his dd I put my hand over his mouth and squeezed his cheeks to shut him up. He became hysterical and accused me of trying to kill him. I know this is abuse and I am needing to rely on physical force to get him to take any notice of me. It is just awful and I hate myself for the damage I must be doing to him. I have told him i hate him twice in the last 6 months and just feel like the worst Mum in the world.
His refusal to go to bed and night wakings started off all the negativity really. He seems to think he is the worst person in the world and is very scared of witches and the supernatural. he sucks his thumb and cradles a teddy which I think is abnormal for an almost 7 year old? He seems super sensitive to all the bad in the world and is full of anger and anxiety.
My husband tries army routines with ds. making him walk up and down the road etc. DS gets upset saying his daddy doesn't care about him, noone loves him etc. it is all such a mess. Most of the time I am a good mum but I just handle it all wrong when he starts pushing me. When I keep my cool and ignore his lashing out he does calm down and tell me the problem but when I am tired from both kids waking up in the night, I just can't always keep it. We have docs appt on tues as ds has been asking for a doctor. he says he wishes he was like his friends who aren't as clever as him and that he wishes he could switch his brain off. He has said he hated himself too. I know you will all think my reaction has started this thinking off but it was there beforehand but of course my anger has only made things worse. I just want to heal my family and make us functional again... 