What is parenting like for you?

[MIstletAOU]

What was the first thing that popped into your head when you saw the thread title? Positive or negative - all views are valid.

Humbling. And everything everyone else has said...

Today, it's been an absolute nightmare.

Parenting I have found to my surprise is quite fun most of the time. I am by nature deeply impatient, but I've found I can be patient and encouraging and creative and I enjoy those bits. I find the discipline aspect ok mostly in that I can control myself more than I ever thought I'd be able to (not as bad as I make that sound!) and I am good at the rewarding bits. I dislike the general slog intensely.

Being a parent, however, I find almost too painful for words. I almost can't deal with the intensity of it - I mean both the exhileration and the desperation - and I have to suppress quite a lot of raw emotion on a daily basis. Somehow I don't think that's wildly healthy...

To me, parenting is a deeply philosophical and growing experience.

My dd took me places in myself I had previously been able to avoid ... until I had her.

As a "spirited" baby (now toddler) with initial health problems, she forced me to rethink all the conventional theories on childraising I was determined to instill in her and brought me round to the way SHE decided she wanted to be parented. I know where she got her stubbornness from!

She taught me all I know about parenting - patience (ok - I do yell at her sometimes), love, getting on with it, trust in a greater good. Most of all, she taught me to let go, lose myself

pruni stop stealing my thoughts and posting them please

thanks

feastofsteven, that's exactly what i was going to say! great minds

It varies between exhaustion/happiness like I've never known/total frustration/knowing I'm doing the best job I can for the 2 most important people in the world(at least some of the time!)

There's nothing like it!

My DH said two things about becoming a Dad that I enjoyed - "my old life has gone and I never got a chance to say goodbye" and "I've been waiting my whole life for this moment, and never knew it"

People tell me I'm a wonderful mum, but I get embarrassed, because my DD has always been a delightful, fun and easy baby (18mths) and I feel like a fraud! I love being a mum

very hard and yes i am quite negative about it because i don't think i am good at it.
I am too much of a worrier and too stressed and i put my own life on hold too much. imo. mine are 10 and 6.

Apteryx, your dh puts it so well

Really hard work but life wouldn't be complete without them! They grind you down.... then they say something funny, or give you a little grin that melts your heart and it doesn't seem so bad after all!

I like it very much but when I find the going gets tough I tend to blame it on having three children to manage.

If I stop and think carefully though it's not them that makes it tough at all beacuse they are just great. It's all the work that piles up around us as a family - ie laundry, never having time to get enough things done (says she on mn again!)having to be in too many places at the same time and rushing about like a headless chicken all the time!

That's not parenting, but it's the bit I find hardest and it tends to get lumped in with parenting in my head, which is quite wrong of me really.

Enjoyable and very rewarding.

For me being a parent is fun, above everything else. There's never a dull moment with DS.

I'm blessed.

Bearable when they are not whining and I've had a good night's sleep. Dreadful when I've been up 3 times during night and the pair of them are in whine mode. I love them both dearly but (takes deep breath) I have discovered a lot more about myself since having them and I just don't get the overwhelming ooooh factor. If fact I don't like myself because of it and I think I'm more selfish than I ever realised. I did a bit when DD was born but with DS coming so soon after I'm just tired, fed up, bored, suffering from identity loss. I never ever thought I'd be like that - I thought I'd be earth mother totally.
Having said that, they are adorable, beautiful children and I'm a very lucky person.

off the top of my head as suggested..my instant thoughts.
a mixed bag.

limiting yet liberating
moreish..yet relentless
a privilege[?] and a chore
tiring yet motivating

a chance to show off all my natural mumness...yet a constsnt feeling that im not good enough

oh and its also a grubby on the whole

the biggest surprise for me was...i had NO IDEA i would love my boy so much.noooo idea.

Bloody hard work.
Physically and mentally exhausting.
Overwhelming.

But they're ok I guess.

Hmm, not sure what my feelings were as I have such different experiences with the three. ds1 is VERY hard work and am finding him difficult just now. dd also hard work but obviously in a differnet way and she's charming too. And loving having a baby again. however feel guilt too as part of me thinks I shouldn't have had a 3rd baby as I am finding it hard to cope. But everyone keeps tellling me its not my 'fault' and I just need more support.

I really like MistleAOUs' description of finding a room you didn't know existed in your own house. If you don't have children I think you can be extremely happy ( I know I was!) but having ds makes me think that the old life was shallow and pointless and I didn't know it (which is not to say I don't miss it . I also find it true to say that a part of your heart is walking around separately from you from baby's birth through the rest of their life. I don't think that ever changes. As a fairly selfish person it is nice to know there is one part of my feelings that are not wholly bound up in me!

The above holds true whenever I stop to think and I realise how lucky I am to have ds. Day-to-day, however, can be pretty hard work and it did take me a while to realise that having this new life doesn't automatically wipe out all the old neuroses (sp?).

Ocomeallyefaithful - I think that you have a point, my perception of parenting is coloured by the amount of sleep I have had.
Generally, I love it. I've never been a real babycentric girl, and this was a surprise baby and I'm in my late thirties, but it's all worked out so far.
Have to say, my very supportive and baby-loving partner makes a big difference to the overall view I have of parenthood.
Oh and this type of forum - absolutely invaluable. I feel sorry for anyone not having access to this much info and support.

Restrictive yet groovy

i love being a mum, but my first thought when i read it was tirng and hard work. i don't think people realise how hard it will be, very rewarding though, when your child first clutches your finger is priceless, i love both my dds very much, to sum it up, being a mum is the best worst paid job i've ever had, if that makes any sense.

life changing
amazing
even better as im on my own so get all the cuddles

The most difficult thing I have ever done (I'm not joking).