At what age did you 1st take you dc on holiday??

[Honeypie80]

Im really early along and due next march, the thing is its my FIL's 60th in may and we had all planned to go somewhere abroad for it. I dont fancy taking a 1 month old baby on holiday let alone on a plane but my mil is insisting we go,(very fussy type, cant see any problem with what shes asking). Im not stopping my dp from going, its his dad birthday after all, but i know i wouldnt enjoy it, id prefer being at home getting into a routine and learning how to do everything (its my 1st) without the hassle of having to pack, and being forced into going the pub every night with a newborn (theyre really big drinkers, and hate it already when i refuse a drink- yes im pregnant and i choose not to drink, how unreasonable am i hey!!)

am i being unreasonable by saying no to taking a newborn baby abroad, or have others managed fine...

I am pretty sure that I wouldn't be up for taking a 1mo (or what could only be a 2wo) abroard.
You may get some people telling you it will be fine - and it might be, but you will still be learning the ropes at that point, may still be bleeding, settling into a routine, not sleeping at night.

Honeypi80, be strong about this. I rarely post on Parenting but this struck me as SO unfair of your MIL

If you do not feel comfortable with it (and I certainly would NOT!) the stick to your guns. Your barely will be at most a month old, that is so teeny tiny. When my DS was that age I hated him coming into contact with anything noisy, fumes, etc etc. Trust me, you are likely to be angst-ridden if you go abroud.

Batten down the hatches, get comfy, kiss your hubby goodbye (my guess is that he reeeeeaaaally will not want to leave you) and get yourself and your baby into a routine.

Goodluck.

P.S. ChasingSquirrels, if you read this, urgently need your help. Pls refer to Relationships thread re. money xx

So sorry about typosss. hugely rushing

15 months old and it was bloody hard work.
In some ways a newborn would be easier but I wouldn't want to go as the baby will probably be up every couple of hours and crying and I'd be worried about disturbing everyone!
Also I think you'll want to be at home and settling into your new life.

And you are not being unreasonable!(especially as it's your first)

9 weeks weekend away was terrible
4 months week in sydney ended up with him in hospital
6 months week with friends on farm was lovely
10 months, 7 week trip from NZ to UK - we can do this now

point out that if you are going aboard that baby will not probably even have a passport by then.
I wouldn't go but then when I was expecting boys I was healthy low risk. ds1 spent 1 week in hospital and ds2 spent 6 months in hospital
letyour dh go but i wouldnt
Enjoy your time with your new bump

opps forgot you and bloody sticky space bar!!!!

8 weeks and then again at 11 weeks.

Doesn't matter though. If it's not right for you, it's not right for you. Those first weeks and months with a baby are very fragile and you must do what you need to. Be firm.

I think the passport angle is the best route - it takes around 3 weeks to get - which would mean getting a photo done in first week. To me, that would be insanity!

Your MIL is being ridiculous, stand firm.

FWIW, I would encourage your DH to minimise the time spent away for this event.

Good luck!

Dc1 was 8 months way out, 9 months on way back. 13 very long hours each way. Was not so bad on way back as mostly slept, way out was hell. Did a 3 hour flight at 14 months - fidgety and now very mobile and a 7 hour flight at 23 months. We had learned by now so timed both journeys to be night flights.

DC2, 4 months. This is a 4 hour flight in a couple of weeks time). Expect DC2 will be no trouble. DC1 (2.6 yo) will be a nightmare.

Moral of my story is that the younger they are, the less mobile they are and the easier the journey and holiday. Having said that, there is NO way I would go abroad with a one month old, first child. That is just total madness! My hormones were everywhere, I was still recovering from birth and baby hasn't had any immunisation jabs. Tell dh to have a nice time at the party and snuggle down at home with your baby.

Dc1 was 8 months way out, 9 months on way back. 13 very long hours each way. Was not so bad on way back as mostly slept, way out was hell. Did a 3 hour flight at 14 months - fidgety and now very mobile and a 7 hour flight at 23 months. We had learned by now so timed both journeys to be night flights.

DC2, 4 months. This is a 4 hour flight in a couple of weeks time). Expect DC2 will be no trouble. DC1 (2.6 yo) will be a nightmare.

Moral of my story is that the younger they are, the less mobile they are and the easier the journey and holiday. Having said that, there is NO way I would go abroad with a one month old, first child. That is just total madness! My hormones were everywhere, I was still recovering from birth and baby hasn't had any immunisation jabs. Tell dh to have a nice time at the party and snuggle down at home with your baby.

5 weeks was the youngest, it was fine but then it was baby number three and I'd got them sussed by then I find taking babies far easier than toddlers and pre schoolers tbh as they are more portable and don't need entertaining.

And the time it takes to get somebody to sign the passport
Take the photo
Send it off

No vaccinations either. Can't even take Calpol at 1 month

Somewhere hot is no place for a baby- their skin can't cope with it.

I took a 9 month to Spain in April- which was ok as he could sit and splash about. I was thinking about taking him when he was 6 weeks old but it was impossible in the end. Too much stuff!
Then again in July and he was ill while we were there( Swine flu) and was awful and he had prickly heat.

I've passed taking my 3 month old to Spain in September- it's just too hot for him, even then.
I still felt rubbish after my babies were born too tired, let alone go drinking!
Have I given your MIL enough reasons yet?
Just be a bit slow to get his/her passport done and don't let them book it!
They will waste their money!

No no no! Even if it were your own choice then given you might be late and have a 2w old the advice would be not to do it. But you definitely need to stand firm against MIL right now. If she thinks it's going to be fun for you to take a four week old firstborn to a boozing holiday abroad you need to establish your independence right now. She is either being totally inconsiderate or her parenting style is completely different to yours, and this is just the beginning. Don't bother with the passport excuse - just come right out and say 'I will not be coming on this holiday with you. I hope you have a lovely time.'. I might be having a fairly firm conversation with DH about it too.

Honeypie, stand firm on this one. Maybe you could point out to MIL that your baby could be as young as 2 weeks of age if you go past your due date meaning you could be still exhausted, healing or even recovering from a CS (1 in 5 births end in CS now - may be worth using this as a bit of ammo against MIL) Trust me - you will not want to travel anywhere 2 weeks after an EMCS, plus the risk of DVT is huge!

As others have pointed out - the passport will be a nightmare & you really won't want to fuss around getting that sorted. Your baby will not have been immunised or be able to take calpol & you would have to permenantly keep your LO out of the sun as their skin is too delicate .etc.

What does your FIL think?

I would be a bit worried about your baby not being immunised. We didn't take dd1 until she was 6 but dd2 was 13months when we went abroard. Tbh she caught a bug or something from the plane and I spent the first few days dosing her with calpol and comforting her.
I have heard parents say that newborns are easier to travel with than toddlers though.

4 months old and camping.
However it isn't a good idea if you don't want to do it.
I would refuse to book and wait and see, your baby could be late for a start.

No way should you go, especially if you don't want to. I took DS away at 3 months which was fine, he was a very easy baby and by then was sleeping through the night, but 1 month is ridiculous, you will still be finding your feet, and as others have said, how will you get the passport in time? They have to have their eyes open and not be crying or pulling faces for the photo, which is not easy with a newborn. I think your in laws are being incredibly unfair.

To keep the peace a bit maybe you could suggest you don't book now, and if you feel you are up to it when the baby has arrived you could maybe get a last minute flight? You know chances are you won't, but its not an outright refusal to go.

I would actually refuse at this point. You have absolutely no idea what sort of baby you will have or how you will feel and cope.

I think its crazy, what if you have a c-section? I would say you can't go now, while its still early on, but not stating that you won't go, say it in a way that assumes that they already know because its so obvious. And don't even entertain ideas that your DH might go and leave you on your own the new baby!

Get your DH to ring them to discuss the new arrangements now that the wonderful news of the pregnancy unfortunately means, obviously, that you can't go abroad.

Took both DD and DS away by car at 6 weeks. Taking DS on a plane at 4 months.

Wouldn't dream of taking a month old on a plane.

10 weeks old and all was fine, though looking back I can't believe we did it! Certainly I wasn't ready at 4 weeks and as has already been said, stick to your guns if you are not comfortable with the idea.
(I was almost 2wks overdue when I gave birth. Might be worth keeping that in mind too, as going away with a pfb 2wk old might be a bit nerve wracking! ) Good luck.

You can't make any commitments now because you don't know how the birth will leave you feeling, how you will cope with a newborn or how your baby will be.

Personally I went abroad when DS was about 4 or 5 months and it was great but we only booked the trip when he was 3 months and were sure it was something we could all cope with. DP went abroad for a family event when DS was weeks old, there is no way I would have wanted to go, I was still bleeding heavily, struggling to BF and DS had colic.

Your MIL is being a MILZilla, you and your DH need to put your foot down now and tell her the decision is made, you are not going.