At what age did you 1st take you dc on holiday??

[Honeypie80]

Im really early along and due next march, the thing is its my FIL's 60th in may and we had all planned to go somewhere abroad for it. I dont fancy taking a 1 month old baby on holiday let alone on a plane but my mil is insisting we go,(very fussy type, cant see any problem with what shes asking). Im not stopping my dp from going, its his dad birthday after all, but i know i wouldnt enjoy it, id prefer being at home getting into a routine and learning how to do everything (its my 1st) without the hassle of having to pack, and being forced into going the pub every night with a newborn (theyre really big drinkers, and hate it already when i refuse a drink- yes im pregnant and i choose not to drink, how unreasonable am i hey!!)

am i being unreasonable by saying no to taking a newborn baby abroad, or have others managed fine...

anything less than 8 weeks no way. We travelled with a 3.5 month old and that was actually quite easy. We've done a lot of travelling and tbh it got harder the older she got i.e. toddler stage where they stop being able to sleep any where. Non-mobile, fully BF, slingable stage relatively easy.

We took DS1 on holiday at about 8 weeks, although it was only in the UK.

That was absolutely fine - at that age they don't need a routine and I would much rather have a baby that fit in with us, rather than the other way round.
We only booked it at short notice after he was born though and doubt I'd have wanted to plan anything in advance.

But, I'm not sure I would have wanted to fly and definitely wouldn't have wanted the pub/drinking every night. Is there anyway that you could leave it until the last minute and if you feel up to it, book a flight?

Sorry haven't read whole thread but main points are:

You may well not register the bub until week 2 or 3 so getting a passport that quick would be impossible. You would have to have him/her registered the day of the birth and apply for the passport immediately - you will have better things to do in the first few days.

Airlines may well refuse to carry a baby that small. I know they have a lower age limit but not sure what it it. Check.

Even if the airline will take him/her, the LO will probably hate the air pressure and will probably bawl all through the flight which will be upsetting for you as well.

You will in all likelihood still be bleeding, feeling very uncomfortable and getting to grips with bfing. Not a time to be going on complicated journeys. If it was a party in the next town, maybe, but not flying FFS!

We took DS away for a week in the car when he was 10 weeks which was absolutely fine. I took him on a Ryan Air flight on my own at 15 weeks which was not exactly fun but not as traumatic as I had imagined. You just have to visualise every scenario and be prepared for it. My two errors were: not taking a bottle (luckily it was only a short flight and he wasn't hungry but bfing on a Ryan Air flight would not have been easy, the seats are so close together), and forgetting that whilst taking him in the sling was a stroke of genius, I would have to balance him on the seat whilst putting things in the overhead lockers. I asked another passenger to help and it was fine.

You should definitely stand up to your DH's family on this and don't budge! Agree to go somewhere by plane after 12 weeks but not before!

4 weeks with both my DC, but (crucially) both times it was by car within the UK, and only committed to at the last moment once we knew all was fine with me and DD/DS.

Your baby may well be a week or more late, and you may well have a CS.
Passports are a problem, air pressure is a problem, illness is a problem, DVT is a problem, hormones are a problem (although I personally swear by sunlight as a remedy for baby blues).

You have to say no (and frankly your DH should not go without you).

We took our DS to the Lakes when he was 8 weeks and had a lovely time, but i think i would have struggled to take him abroad at that age. Having said that, they're much more 'portable' when they're very young because they'll sleep pretty much any where, any time. My main concern would be how do you fit all the necessary equipment on a plane without paying extortionate extra baggage charges. We're taking my DS to France in a few weeks, by which time he'll be 10 months - but we're driving. He gets very bored and restless on long journeys so we're concerned about how to keep him occupied on the journey. At least you wouldn't have that problem as a 4 month old pretty much just sleeps!!

At 4 weeks old i was still getting used to the idea of being a mum, and the 'routine' doesn't really start forming for quite a while after that....

'4 month old' should read '4 week old'!

1st baby no way did I plam trips away anywhere, especially abroad! It's a shock to become a mummy. Also establishing bf/recovering from birth etc in those important weeks. Do what you feel most comfortable with, stand your ground. You don't need anything to be stressing you out, particularly towards the end of your pregnancy. Explain to your dh, and maybe insist that he deals with it.

FWIW with ds2 we went camping in France for 2 weeks when he was 5/6 wo, but as I said I NEVER would have done it with the 1st so I completely understand. Good luck

Oh and with ds2 we went in the car via France to get to France, I wouldn't have fancied flying

Weekend away at 3 weeks locally in car. Hell.

Currently in Mauritius with a 3 month old. Not one of our better ideas

Don't do it. Especially with a PFB!

Took the first to Southern Ireland on the ferry at 6 days old, was fine, 2nd to Egypt for a fortnight when 13 weeks old, also fine, both breastfed, minimal fuss. However, if you don't want to do it then don't do it, it's you who it will affect.

Sounds like hell on earth to me.

In my area you phone for an appointment to register the baby after the baby is born (and no you can't make one before it is born). Due to staff shortages it took 8 weeks to get an appointment (yes, I know this exceeds the 6 week thing but apparently this is OK as it was their problem not us faffing about).

You can't even start applying for a passport until you have a birth certificate.

And you'll be running around trying to achieve all this with a tiny newborn, bleeding, potentially recovering from major abdominal surgery (would you get insurance to fly if you had a C-section?).

Then you need to think about cots, prams, car seats, sourcing nappies, making up bottles or turning BFing into a spectator sport for the whole family.

Please don't do it unless YOU really want to.

I think there's quite a difference between a 1 month old and a baby who is 2.5/3 months, which is when we took DD on a (UK) holiday (just the three of us). By two or three months you're getting the knack of it all, feeding is established etc. It was a great holiday with DD at that age - so easy to feed etc and she just slept in her moses basket. In a way much easier than when we took her abroad at 15 months!

At one month though they are still very very tiny and you are still in a fog.

No way could I have gone abroad at that stage with DD1. With DD2 I might have contemplated a trip in the UK, but certainly not abroad.

Especially with your first child you don't know how things will be working out. Also, even with a subsequent child you or him/her could have a difficult time with labour and still be recovering.

Three months would be about my limit for going abroad - which is when we are taking DD2 abroad. DD1 didn't leave the UK until she was well over one (although mostly because a summer had passed and we had no reason to go in winter).

don't do it, not a good enough reason. I was 6 weeks after a cs with first, when fil died suddenly. Ex DH insisted we had to spend 2 weeks looking after his mum 100 miles from home despite his sister being 200 yards down the road. Before I am flamed for being heartless, dd had recently been diagnosed with overwhelming heart problems and had just had first investigative surgery. The fear of being away from her network of doctors was unbelievable, and the resentment of what was expected of me at the time was the beginning of a long slippery slope. Everything would probably be ok, but if not..the repercussions can be long lasting.

We did a week in Edinburgh at 6wks by train as DH was chairing a conference. I don't think I could have done anything earlier as I was v. Poorly following my emergency c-section. It was hard work only made bearable by 1st class train tickets, very nice expensive hotel and being cooed over by everybody who kept telling me how wonderful I was for going with a baby so young , and that DH was an insensitive git for taking me and that they hoped I was going to get something wonderfully expensive for being so tolerant

Our DD paediatrican (we live in the US so anyone under the age of 22 goes to a paediatrican) said not to get on a plane with a baby that has not had their immunizations. They explained that if the baby gets sick (which is much more likely on a plane) the treatment requires hospitalization and lots of very invasive procedures. When we told them family were visiting we were given strict in instructions to insist that they shower, brush their teeth and change into clean clothes before they go near the baby. The dr went so far as to say we need to remind them to wash their hair when they shower.

The dr said she could go on and give us hours of information on why their practice would not any under circumstances allow a baby to fly before they have had their immunizations. This is coming from a practice that said it was fine to use tap water to make formula as my baby will have enough immunity from me and it is a good way to start building up their immune system. They are so laid back that when they tell me something is bad I do listen to them.

We took DS to Prague at four months and that was great - sling, exclusively BFing, no problem. But four weeks would have been quite different! We couldn't get an appointment to register him till he was about a month old, so wouldn't have been able to get a passport till after that anyway.

Well thanks for all the messages of support, i knew i wasnt mad, i understand some people have taken their kids away but as a 1st timer i have no idea at all what i will be like when the baby is here, i may be a heap on the floor, wy would i want to go abroad and have pictures taken of me when i feel like that.

My FIL is slightly disappointed but completely understands, hes a lot more reasonable than his wife! She still can see she is doing no wrong, all shes see's is the fact she has offered to pay for us to go away with them and we have turned them down, thankfully i didnt even have to mention anything to my dp, he mentioned it to me today and i brought up again that he was welcome to go (but if he did he was in for 9 long months of silent treatment!!). As a compromise i suggested maybe having a party for fil's birthday so all the family can be there (it was only immediate family who would be going away), then maybe later in the year we could go over the visit sil in france, my thinking here was id be more settled with what im doing and we could go by car, as someone else also mentioned above they had done it and found it ok.

Fil thought this was a good idea, he wants to be here for his grandchild more than a holiday as its their 1st, MIL wants to show off to everyone and hates anything that comes between her plans, already this year i have found her inviting herself round to Christmas dinner (er...No!!), then i had her turn up to help me paint ( i said i had my friends coming round for tea instead - this was me being mean to her apparently).

I do agree though i need to start putting my foot down now, she has already been out to pick a pram, for us oh no don't be silly its for when the baby stays at her house 2 nights a week of course... They definatly have different parenting styles, she drank throughout her 3 pregnancies and each child had something wrong with them, nobody else in the family has any of the conditions so it does make me wonder why, considering this she still thinks im anti social for not drinking!! sorry for the rant, shes really hit a nerve now though!!!!

FIL sounds very sensible-I should nurture him as a friend. I am very much on the side of MILs (having 3 DSs), but I do think that you need to sort boundries in advance.

I think it depends too on where you are going and how long the journey is etc. I don't think I would do it though at 1 month old. What is your dc got ill abroad or something or picked something up?
The DC would probably sleep much of the way but if it's a long journey flying and dc is restless it could be hell!

8 weeks. Tell your mil you won't be able to get a passport in time.

Well shes planning greece, can you imagine taking a 1 month old to greece for a boozy holiday, I dont know why she cant see why i dont want to go, i wouldn't even suggest it if i were in her shoes. She can be really dozy sometimes and put with stubbornness too its a nightmare. she turned up a while ago to help me paint a white wall, i had a roller she brought her own brush, when i asked why there was brown streaks all over the wall she said it was probably off the brush as she'd creosoted the fence and hadnt washed it, i told her to leave it now and id finish the rest..

This weird war of power has been going on since then, i've tried talking to her like a normal adult, we've recently bought a house and she finds it acceptable to come in and start cleaning straight away which i find as an insult, ive told her coming to visit means spending time with us not bleaching everywhere (which i also hate the smell of right now)

so if i suggested maybe september or october to her do you think that would be a more acceptable time to wait before taking a baby on holiday that's 5/6 months old and id rather do it then as other posters have mentioned its easier if the baby fits into our routine instead of the other way around. Nothing has even been booked yet so i dont really see a problem, fil gets a party and a holiday plus a grandchild, and were all happy apart from MIL.

I do try to get on with her, i know shes on hrt so has her own problems going on, she just makes it so difficult sometimes when shes not reasonable, thought it was meant to be me with the hormonal problems!!

Honeypie here is your list of ammunition sensible reasons why not to go so soon after your LO arrives:

• DC may only be 2 weeks old if you go overdue, this will make getting the birth registered & passport sorted in time pretty much impossible
• If you do go overdue, you might end up having a CS. You will not want to travel to the shop, let alone another country. Also, getting on a plane will increase your risk of DVT dramatically
• If you're breastfeeding, you will want to spend a lot of time in the early weeks getting this established
• If you're bottlefeeding, you may not have access to a steriliser plus you would have the faff of taking lots of bottles, formula .etc
• DC won't have been immunised meaning, as Want2B added, if DC caught anything on the plane (which is fairly likely to be fair - recycled air, confined space) it would most likely result in hospital treatment

I think if you suggested September / October you would be being entirely reasonable & I'm sure your FIL would appreciate this. MIL might see her arse because she still wouldn't be getting her own way but hopefully FIL would be able to point out that you are trying to find a compromise. Beware though - your DC may be teething by then!