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Parenting

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Original poster

full time mums cant cope with their children?

73 replies

annbenoli · 02/08/2011 13:29

Now I know this is a tricky one but after a uni reunion where we were all discussing our situations it became very apparent that tyhose who are working full time really find it hard to cope with more than one child. I dont mean the organisation etc we all find that hard i mean they dont seem to be able to look after more than one chiold without another adult there and even on days off weekends etc rely on grandparents etc. Is it just that if you work full time you dont go through the coping zone and never learn to do it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Al0uiseG · 02/08/2011 13:58

Being a fulltime sahm I'm just a lazy bitch who does absolutely nothing at all.

Ormirian · 02/08/2011 14:00

"Is it just that if you work full time you dont go through the coping zone and never learn to do it?"

Nope. I'm Ok thanks.

Ormirian · 02/08/2011 14:01

In fact I am shit-hot at multitasking and being super-organised. Have to be.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Thumbwitch · 02/08/2011 14:01

Aaaaannnnnd the second post from the OP fans the flames....

I wouldn't know. I only have one DC and am SAHM . I can't multitask to save my life, obviously .

foxinsocks · 02/08/2011 14:03

is that the old original thumbwitch? how nice to see you too (and you omiran!)

Ormirian · 02/08/2011 14:03

I want a biscuit but I don't like jammy dodgers.

Romia · 02/08/2011 14:03

"The coping zone"? What on earth is "the coping zone"? Is it a new soft play centre? What a load of old nonsense! I know a lot of SAHMs who can't cope with themselves more than one child, and a couple of working mums who find it difficult too... it's down to the individual not whether they work or not.. some people can walk and chew chewing gum and some people can't..

Ormirian · 02/08/2011 14:03

Hello fox Have you been Elsewhere?

Thumbwitch · 02/08/2011 14:04

sure is foxinsocks! I have been playing with Harry Potter nn for a bit but reverted now. :) Happy to see you too!

foxinsocks · 02/08/2011 14:07

yes, sadly I have been attending to bloody real life (always gets in the way of having fun!)

how are you both?

thumbwitch, I don't think I have seen you for YEARS!

my children are nearly both in double figures. I do not know where time goes. When I joined here, I was still bleating about reflux and potty training and feeding horrors. How time flies.

foxinsocks · 02/08/2011 14:07

I should really say how time flies when you're working full time

fluffyanimal · 02/08/2011 14:08

PMSL at Romia's soft play centre. Can I go there please?

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 02/08/2011 14:09

have a you twat loon.

EdithWeston · 02/08/2011 14:10

I think OP must be incredibly unlucky with her university 'friends', and perhaps be rather isolated herself (no points of comparison, preferring bunfight here to RL).

BTW: since DCs, I've worked full time, part-time and SAH, and done charity work on top of any/all those. What does that make me? (Other than unable to cope, by OP definition?)

Pelagia · 02/08/2011 14:14

I'm a full time working mum of ...oh I've forgotten how many children. Its ok though, I have a bottle of Coping Zone in the cupboard, I go through them regularly.

huffythethreadslayer · 02/08/2011 14:14

Extrapolating data based on a limited size sample and then making huge assumptions about what full-time working mums can and can't do, means your credentials look great. Do you already work for the tories/red rag papers or are you trying to line yourself up for a job??

What next? An insightful look at the role of SAHMs and saintliness? Or part time mums and godliness?

I've done all the prescribed roles at different points...been a full time working mum, SAHM and worked part time. I wasn't better at being a mum in any of the roles. I was exactly the same. The working patterns sometimes helped, sometimes got in the way, but that's fairly natural? In the same way that MN is currently getting in the way of me cleaning my kitchen and baking with my girl.

I presume this thread was meant to be incendiary???

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/08/2011 14:14

Can I just add too - I am shit at multi-tasking, as is DH. So we tend to split the tasks so neither of us has to. For example I find it very difficult being at work at the same time as picking DC up from the nursery so DH does it. Simple really.

And since when has multi-tasking been a woman's domain? Isn't it just an excuse to get us to do more work?

Thumbwitch · 02/08/2011 14:16

fox, I fear sadly you are mistaking me for A Nother :(. I am here all the time, because I am sat on my lardy arse doing SFA as all good SAHMs are, playing on MN and ignoring My Child.
Afaik there is only One Thumbwitch though (or I wouldn't have got the nn) and I have only been on MN for 3y, so you might be thinking of a different witchy type - there were/are a lot of us about . Perhaps Hedgewitch? Or TheWaterWitch? or even Gigglewitch (who is still here but under another name)

Insomnia11 · 02/08/2011 14:20

Everyone needs a break at times and sometimes it's great to spend time with one child on their own - it's a different dynamic to when they are both/all together. Perhaps when both parents work you tend to have these support systems set up already so that you can do something with one child as both parents are used to looking after the children, or have a break and have some child-free time. I don't think it's a case of 'not coping'! It's a case of managing very well, in most cases.

I imagine, being a SAHP it would be very easy to fall into the role of being the one who does everything with the kids and being there 24/7 and, unless you manage it very well (which I'm sure many do) harder to get a break/have someone else look after one child while you do something with the other/have some child free time.

petaluma · 02/08/2011 14:20

What's the definition of coping???

If it means that both/all the kids are alive at the end of the day and I'm not wibbling under the stairs then that's my definition of coping. enjoyment is another matter entirely....maybe that's what the wingeing friends meant/expected out of motherhood.

I cope all the time. I enjoy my kids most of the time.

NormanTebbit · 02/08/2011 14:22

Are we a supposed to start fighting now?

Sips

Is there supposed to be some long drawn out thread where we all seek validation for our choices as good mothers?

Cos frankly...

Zzzzzzz

SpottyFrock · 02/08/2011 14:22

Jeez, I have 3kids and I'm 8mths pg with the fourth. Oh and I only usually have a husband fri through to sun. If I couldn't multitask, we'd all be feral by now! I work p/t btw but was full time with 2 dcs.

seachange · 02/08/2011 14:34

Oh OP. Are you new? Bored? You're not very original.

Have all the gone?

megkat · 02/08/2011 14:39

FFS

What total and utter shite.

I am a full time working mum and relish the time I get with my children - just like any other mum parent I need some time off every now and again.

Again I say - what total and utter shite.

Pootles2010 · 02/08/2011 14:40

I think so Norman but obv as we are all so crap we can't even have a proper fight

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