I dont use smacking as a form of discipline but i cant say ive never done it. I have smacked ds (aged 8) about three times in his life. The first time i didnt mean to, i went to pick him up from his dads, (he was about 3) he came flying out of the door and punched me in the privates. I slapped him. it was a reaction to something very painful, all over in seconds. im not proud of it, i was in the wrong. i told him i was in the wrong and apologised. At the time i didnt really even know it was him, it was a reaction to being hit unexpectedly if that makes any sense.
I dont remember the second time but the last time was a few weeks ago. He threw a book into his sister's cot with great force. It hit her on the head really hard, gave her a big red mark and made her scream. Since she has been born there have been a LOT of incidents where i have come into the room to find him hurting her..not particularly on purpose (sometimes yes), sometimes out of sheer carelessness. I once came in to find him shaking her when she was a few months old. He doesnt realise the danger and ive told him so many times. When i smacked his bottom the other week it didnt hurt him at all..but the fact i had done it was enough to shock him into realising he was very wrong. (because obviously, smacking is something i dont do) I never planned it, it was spur of the moment, but the fact i had done it was enough to make him think. I mean what next, what else would he have dropped on her head?
I dont agree with it on a regular basis. I dont think it helps. I have a friend who is at present having trouble with her son. I havent said anything about it to her but ive come to the conclusion that she smacks him so much its no deterrent anymore. She smacks him for such silly things, i suppose to him, misbehaving in a really bad way doesnt matter...he will get smacked anyway so its no worse than normal. When he was two i remember her slapping him really hard around the head. She did this purely because he had come out of the house onto the patio where we were. No danger, no misbehaviour, simply because she had told him to stay in the living room and he wanted to come outside. now that is wrong.
My mum NEVER smacked me as a child. Not once. But i got punched, strangled, held up by my throat kicking and screaming, i got toys thrown at me and i got thrown all around the house by my stepdad (and this wasnt for bad behaviour, just because he was pissed). There's a very big difference IMO. Actually, id rather have been smacked in a controlled way. The mental abuse was much worse. From the age of about 8 i was called names constantly...all i had to do was be in a room he happened to be in. He would walk past and call me a bitch, a slut, a slag etc etc.
What would be the point in a ban on smacking? Who would actually listen?...no-one. They would just do it in the confines of their own home..the same as child beaters do. It would not achieve anything.
So to sum up, i think sometimes it is called for, as a very last resort. Im changing my name, not because of my view, but because ive just admitted to the abuse i suffered.
A thread i would find very interesting would be one asking how many people have hit someone else...as a child to a child or an adult to an adult. Then to ask how they were brought up. im unsure as to whether it makes a difference.