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Things I can cross off from my pre-children "Things I would never do as a parent" list

66 replies

BellaBearisWideAwake · 16/05/2011 17:11

  1. Dress my children in branded clothing

(with a big shout out to H&M for selling clothes with Lightning McQueen, thank you)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RockOnMrs · 22/05/2011 17:20

I always swore that when I said "No" I would stick to it. But what I actually do quite often sometimes is say "No... no ... noooooo .. NO ... oh all RIGHT then but ONLY one sweet / just a quick go on the Wii / whatever"

I also swore that I would never wipe my baby/toddler's face on their own tshirt, but when you're faced with yards of snot and dribble in the middle of the shopping centre and you've run out of muslins and tissues and if you wait until you get to the shop that's a few yards away the snot/dribble will hit the floor, what else are you supposed to use?

Ditto if you're just too lazy to get up to find the muslins/tissues Grin

Let them eat dinner in front of the TV (N.B. I don't allow this every day!)

Make them change out of their school uniform when they get home (who cares? M&S school shirts are cheaper than ordinary clothes, so the DCs might as well keep them on and I buy enough to ensure that there's one for every day of the week). Lazy, moi?

Let them eat something that's been dropped on the floor. I make a snap judgment re. the cleanliness of the floor. I know loads of mothers who have a blanket rule that food on floor = food straight in the bin. Why can't I be like that?

Just re-read this and I am shocked by how slovenly I sound! My DCs are clean and well-nourised, I promise, and my house is actually quite tidy and reasonably clean >

TheEndlessArete · 22/05/2011 19:59

LOL, this thread is good for my mental health.....!!

I feel like I'm living the nightmare dream !!

I shout irrationally at my DCs more than I EVER thought I would.

Other stuff I didn't really think about before kids. But I'd definitely painted a picture of myself as a funloving, kind, patient and gentle mum - none of which you'd choose to describe me these days Sad

betterwhenthesunshines · 24/05/2011 17:33

Told them the Queen CD has broken (after 40,000 listens) and suggest they pick something else. Now have a 6 and 9 yr old who know Black Eyed Peas lyrics Blush

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betterwhenthesunshines · 24/05/2011 17:34

be inconsistent on a daily basis. At least THAT's consistent.....

frazzzled · 24/05/2011 17:51

let ds have dried snot on his face!

aStarInStrangeways · 24/05/2011 17:56

Wee in a nappy because I am too desperate to wait and too entrapped by the situation (in this case, drying and dressing shivering naked DS after swimming) to get to a toilet.

Turns out they don't hold more than you might think :(

Al0uiseG · 30/05/2011 09:59

Holiday in Orlando. We were going to Safari and trek and bucket and spade with our children.

Orlando wins every time I'm afraid and once you've been booking anywhere else is just a bit dull. So much so that no one can be arsed to book a holiday this year "because if we're not going to America theres no point".

Lou222 · 30/05/2011 10:05

Picking my ds's nose, was appalled when I saw someone do this. Now it's my fave thing to do !

Zimm · 30/05/2011 10:18

astarinstrangeways - that wins for me :-)

Cebebies is mine.

barbarasgal · 30/05/2011 20:12

ALouiseG glad you said that about Orlando because we are going next year. I'm already counting the days and its next year.

Al0uiseG · 30/05/2011 20:53

Jealous, you'll have a brilliant time. :)

alitesneeze · 30/05/2011 21:22

lou222 I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Before I had kids, bogies mademe vom. Now I actually derive pleasure from fishing them out of my dcs' noses!

Choufleur · 30/05/2011 21:25

Tv/DVD at bedtime. Did that for the 1st time ever tonight but I just wanted him to sleep after a weekend away and he fell asleep in the car on the way home and I'm knackered .

MavisEnderby · 30/05/2011 21:31

"Because I said so and I'm the adult here!"

Taken them to McDonalds

Read through the bedtime story as fast as is humanly possible/been so tired the bedtime story has gone out of the window

When number 2 arrived and was breastfeeding and she NEVER slept,sitting dc1 in front of Cbeebies/Disney Cars to the point I could almost repeat the Cars script word for word

Leaving snot on dd face (when she has a cold the snot is almost a river and wiping just makes it sore)

shouted.

lots more.Am bad mummy

SycamoretreeIsVile · 30/05/2011 21:37

Bought a Barbie
Used TV instead of my brain to engage the children.
Lost my temper and sulked at my kids.
Fed them meat and veg that aren't, SHOCK organic
Invested heavily in Disney products.

FairyArmadillo · 30/05/2011 22:32

Cook and freeze big batches of spaghetti bolognaise and cottage pie as insisting DS learns to eat a varied diet every day was ruining my sanity.

Separate mealtime for me after 3 year old DS's bedtime as I want to eat and enjoy my varied diet in peace.

Own lots of character branded items. Realize one morning that DS is leaving the house in Peppa pig shirt, coat and shoes, with his things in a Peppa Pig bag.

Give my DS a large grab bag of Quavers to give me five minutes of peace to drink my coffee in Costa.

Shout.

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