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Original poster

FACEBOOK!!- to share or not to share

35 replies

Hollander · 06/05/2011 14:42

Hi Mommys...

Have a question to ask everyone...

Recently took lovely pic os DS playing in the backgarden and put them on fb... got comments from people I had not seen in years. Made me feel very uncomfortable so took them down...

Have maybe 200 + frinds on fb and to be honest most of them are old neighbours, old work colleagues and dare I say it ex boyfriends!

Really only talk to 10 - 15 of my fb friends on a regular basis...

Do ye think its ok to put pics of ur little ones up on fb? I just don't like the idea of some weirdo taking a screen shot and having that phot forever..

Am i being paranoid or is fb a dangerous place to put pics of your kids??

OP posts:

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Eglu · 06/05/2011 14:46

Firstly, if you make sure youre privacy settings are tight then you won't need to worry about wierdos, and secondly if you aren't really friends with these people delete most of them.

smoggii · 06/05/2011 20:19

I put pics of my DD up, my settings are such that only my friends can see them and i take the view that I protect my child very well, she is always in my sight or that of a very trusted person so don't see the problem. She is fully clothed in all pics so i can't see what people could possibly do with the pics even if they were a bit 'wrong'.

Firawla · 06/05/2011 20:35

I put pics of mine up on fb, if there was anyone i would feel weird or uncomfy about seeing my child then I would not have them on my friend list

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PiaThreeTimes · 06/05/2011 20:40

I not at all worried about people seeing pics of my DC on Facebook. No harm can come to them by people I know looking at photos of them.

Tee2072 · 06/05/2011 20:50

Do you put a bag over their heads when they play in the street or when taking them to school?

More likely somebody seeing them that way than on Facebook.

Don't be paranoid. Be aware.

SuchProspects · 06/05/2011 20:53

I am careful not to put up (or share digitally at all) pictures that I could conceive of them being embarrassed by when they are older. But I have no concerns over the photos being "used" in some nefarious way by the people I'm acquainted with.

I think the benefit of the community and relationships we build up by sharing is very beneficial to our kids directly and family life in general.

bilblio · 06/05/2011 20:56

I put them up occasionally, not loads, just special or funny moments.

I have people on my friends list who I've not seen since school, and photos of DD have prompted some conversations with them (she looks a lot like I did.)
It's actually really nice to chat to them again, even the ones I didn't get on with so well then.

I'm very strict with my friends list. I have an unusual name so I'm easy to find, and people tend to remember me, but if I don't remember them I don't add them. If I didn't know them so well sometimes I'll add them but just on limited profile.
I also have it set so that my photos can't be shared by friends.

starystar · 06/05/2011 20:58

i deleted all the people i wasnt going to talk to again before i put pics of DS up. you can also go to privacy settings and create a group of people you dont mind seeing the photos and setting it so only the group see

Mummyloveskisses · 06/05/2011 21:14

I have a group called SAFE FRIENDS and only people I actually know now get to see, I have friends from school on my friends list but as I haven't seen them in years who knows who or what they are or are upto so I get the social interaction without sharing my private pictures... I also don't have any friends on my list I don't talk to :o)

I have seen pictures on others pages, some that aren't even my friends just friends of friends, and they are inappropriate (naked baby pictures) I contacted my friend and asked them to let these people know ANYONE can see them!

PiaThreeTimes · 06/05/2011 21:18

OK, maybe I'm naive. But no harm will come to a baby if a pic of them naked is on Facebook, surely?

I haven't put naked or other potentially embarrassing pics up, as I think it's just that the child isn't going to appreciate it in a few years' time, but no real harm can happen, can it?

Bearslikehoneyintheirtummy · 06/05/2011 21:19

I think it depends who your friends are and how well you know them. I am happy to do it because My profile is not public and I only have about 130 friends - all of who I know personally and feel safe doing so.
I was really surprised though by one of my nieces who is about 15 and I was able to see all of her friends pictures posing in really skimpy outfits etc (I know your DS is younger and its not quite the same) but stuff like that makes me worried as anyone can see it.

baabaapinksheep · 06/05/2011 21:25

AFAIK (and I will stand corrected) once a picture is put on FB, it is then owned by them. For this reason I am very careful about what pictures I put up, and they can only be seen by my friends to makes sure people I don't know can't see them, and more importantly, tag them.

PiaThreeTimes · 06/05/2011 21:25

...but with a young child who can't be contacted by someone on Facebook, what harm can come to them?

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2011 21:25

i have tons of pics on facebook

turns out that 100's of people can actually see my children in real life every single day

so people I actually know, on a computer, doesn't bother me

baabaapinksheep · 06/05/2011 21:31

Putting a picture on the internet is totally different to seeing someone in person. Once a pic is on the web, it is there forever, and anyone who can see it can then do what they want with it.

PiaThreeTimes · 06/05/2011 21:38

But what would they do with it that can actually harm the children, other than embarrass them in later years?!

Bizkit · 06/05/2011 21:47

I have privacy settings set so only very close friends and family can see my pics, I don't put lots up anyway. What concerns me more is these teenagers as young as 12/13 with hundreds of pics posing in skimpy outfits on a total open profile with literally hundreds of friends.

Mummyloveskisses · 06/05/2011 21:52

I have heard of photos being photo shopped to satisfy perverted needs and even though it wouldn't bring any harm to my child or put them in danger I do not like the thought this could be happening out there...

baabaapinksheep · 06/05/2011 21:54

No actual harm will come to the child, however it is not their choice to have their picture all over the internet, and their privacy should be protected.

I wouldn't want people i don't know owning pictures of my DC, and that is what happens if you allow people you don't know to see pics of them on the internet.

Mummyloveskisses · 06/05/2011 21:55

Bizkit They worry me too, my DS1 is 13yrs and how many of his friends have open profiles is sickening... I have set his profile and have password and he has had soooo many internet safe talks I find it unbelievable in this day and age how many parents haven't done the same!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 06/05/2011 21:59

Someone DH and I once regarded as a friend has just been jailed for offences including altering images of children to make them indecent.

I have never put pics of my DCs on there because I was concerned about privacy and because for the first couple of years I was on there I was only friends with people we see a lot of anyway, but recently have tracked down several long lost relatives who I would like to share with, so I am going to do as other suggest and limit access for pictures to specified people.

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2011 22:03

someone could take a picture of them IRL too, at the park, on the beach, anywhere.

Bearslikehoneyintheirtummy · 06/05/2011 22:06

I agree mummy, I worry so much for when my DD grows up! But I don't understand how some parents can just let their kids do this without worrying about it. The girls on my nieces fb were in the same class as her (15 yrs) posing and flaunting their bits - it scares the hell out of me already and my daughter is oly 18 months!! Even if they are teenagers and like to think themselves as adults they are still minors and under their parents care until they are 18.

Mummyloveskisses · 06/05/2011 22:06

But this shouldn't be a reason for us not to try and protect our children

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 06/05/2011 22:06

Yes, that is another thing the former friend was doing, so you can't eliminate the risk entirely, you would never be able to go out!

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