Is it better to stay at home with the kids?

[boredsenseless]

I ask as I'd always believed it is better for your kids for their mum to be at home and THERE for them. But is it better for the MUM? I've been at home for years and I'll tell you, I'm bored stiff. Yes I know loads of other mums, kids have friends etc etc but I'm bored senseless with it all. If I see one more cartoon I'll scream. Now I've no career I'd have to go back part time for about £6 per hour and with 2 lots of childcare I'd be working for nothing, so that's no go. But God it's boring always being here, do feel it's the right thing for my kids but when do I come into it?

I did do crafts today Cod. DS found some of my biros and 'crafted' a piece of art on a ripped up envelope. Penelope Leach would be soo proud of me It's a real developmental milestone, drawing. DH came and said, 'the little bugger's going to start drawing on the bloody walls ins't he?!'

life is about you. if you prefer to dedicate it to caring for your child at home - fantastic.

some people cannot financially afford to do that.
some cannot emotionally afford to do that.
some are not equiped to do that.

therefore there is no right and there is no wrong.

its wrong to judge people for their decisions becuase you dont know what lies behind it.

ignorance breeds the argument - if you didnt want to look after them why have them - its a stupid argument that always comes up. as you dont know before hand about PND, how hard it may or may ot be emotionally, financially, or what life may throw your way.

we all make choices according to what suits our family best.

right now I'd go out to work 7 days a week, possibly for free...

custy - have you been off MN for a while? I seem to remember your name when I was preggers but then not for ages. Or maybe I'm just blind

that's a good point you make about finances and mums working because they have too. That's what makes it so difficult for me to bring the subject up in RL - I'm petrified of saying smething that offends my friends.

My arguements were for me BTW - not directed at anyone else.

lol misschief!

me too sometimes...........

Think as more than one person has said on this thread - its what works for your situation.

Personally for me up until 4 weeks ago I was a SAHM - and had GREAT days and BORED days. My DD is 2.6 and I think it was the best thing for DD, me and DH. I have now gone to work PT cos of financial reasons but would have preferred to carry on being a SAHM - at this age there is so much fun you can have together.

For the three days I work she spends the morning at nursery and the afternoon with my Mum. I have to say I dreaded leaving her at first but she absolutely loves nursery and can hardly stop to say bye when we get there. But on the other hand her faces lights up when I come back. At this stage I wouldn't send her to nursery for a full day as it would be 8.30 until 5.30 and that is a long day for a little one!! At least she can have some home comforts and one to one at my mums!

Thats just how it works for us. I wouldn't criticise anyone else for what they do as we're all different. Thank God!

But yes - understand the boredom (esp. when very little and don't do much!) and lack of adult company other than DH!

I was scared stiff of the thought of being at home when ds was born, I had worked full time for years.
I went back to work part time, I work 8.30am-3pm on a Sunday and 6am to 9am Mon-Wed.I walk to work, and dh meets me with ds in the car, and I drive home. This works well for us as Dh can look after Ds while Im at work, avoiding child care - which we couldnt afford anyway.
I enjoy my job - a window dresser - and wanted to keep this up. I am planning to do a home course now, to further my qualifications.
I think you have to do what suits your lifestyle, and I dont believe you should compromise your own dreams, you just have to find a way around it.

sounds like hard work mumfor1st time. but if you are doing something you enjoy that's great and it must be really nice for daddy and baby to have regular times to hang out on their own.

i only do 2 days freelance work from home (interspersed with mn today it seems), sometimes have more work than others, it works out ok. we are fortunate in that any money i earn is a bonus not an absolute necessity at the mo. but just doing a bit of work keeps me sane and hopefully will be able to do more when ds gets to school-age.

ever thought about setting up your own business at home? can you make stuff??? i know a few mums who have done that... it is hard work but they can still be at home, have something work related that challenges them and not be uh, bored stiff as they have a creative outlet??? what you think?

I'm at SAHM with a 3 year old and a 18 month old. Our relatives live a long way away from us and I dont want to put them in full time nursery. The 3 year old goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and the 18 month old doesnt do anything yet. Next September the 3 year old will start school and the 18 month old will go to nursery a few mornings a week. I've often thought about working but god knows what I will do. It needs to be part time, flexible for sickness etc with all the holidays off - does any such thing exist? Fortunatly, we can survive without me working but I would like to do something. But for me my children are the most important thing, so a job needs to fit around them rather than our family life fitting around a job.

Oh too right it's boring.
Not the kids per se,but lacking adult company and conversation. I've been abroad with my dh for nearly 18 mths on/off with two children and no work.

I'm going back to the UK nexr week for the winter.Dd will be in school f/t and ds (16 months)will be packed off to a nursery for at least two days a week.

Can't bloody wait.

I too find my days boring sometimes but it's best for my kids so I'm giving up a bit of my life for a wee while. Don't get me wrong, some days I am truly climbing the walls and when DH comes home after a crap day and just wants to chill I then expect him to indulge me in intellectual conversation. It's like Moondog says, the lack of adult company and conversation. I went out one evening last week with friends and I don't think they got a word in edgeways for me just talking constantly for about 4 hours.

My two are 2yrs and 9 months. Being an older mum I find myself very tired and now have it on Doctor's recommendation that I should have some 'me' time and get the kids looked after for half day a week. Problematic as I've no support nearby and paying a childminder to look after my kids so I can swan off and chill out is a bit of a hurdle for me at the moment. Next year DD will go to nursery/playgroup so I am looking forward to a bit of a break. When they are both at school I shall be indulging in some me time and trying out new things.

I worked part-time for years, and dh minded the children while I worked. I now consider myself a SAHM, although I work as a clown for parties at the weekends, and the odd week-day party.

I do find it boring, and frustrating, mainly because I thought that if I was at home all the time, the house would finally be tidy, I would be on top of everything and organised. As it is, over half of what I do is damage limitation, following my 3 and 2 year old boys around, with a few chores done hastily in between.

THe problem must be my unreal expectations. Certainly for us it is better than this time last year when dh and I were both at work at the same time, and we had to send the 2 youngest to a childminder til I got home with the other 3 from school.

I REALLY miss the crack (not the drug) at work with adults too.

seems like there is no right or wrong but need to do what is right for yourself.

yes, it is nicer for kids to have mum around all day, but not if she is stressed and resenting it. We have a saying in our house, if the mother aint happy, aint nobody happy!

I found part-time works best for me as a bit of everything - keeping my brain ticking but still have plenty time with my daughter.

That said, anyone got ideas on whether to spend my maternity pay on sending 2 yr old daughter out to playgroup when i have my baby next month? how many mornings is a good balance? or is the money better spent on cleaning help?

Mazzystar, I do have days where I feel like I dont want to go to work! I used to work mon-fri doing 6am to 9am, but decided to do a Sunday to allow myself full days off in the week. Dh enjoys spending time on Sundays with ds.
Sunday just gone, I got home from work and asked how his day had been - he said that little man wouldnt go to sleep, although he was tired, so took him for a long walk - closely followed by a drive and ended up at the garden centre to see the budgies and the rabbits! How sweet I thought...
I also enjoy a few hours to myself when Im at work.