Are there rules for which nursery you can choose?

[EdwardorEricCantDecide]

what I mean is Childcare is currently shared between DM and DMIL
DS is due to start next summer I've been told I'll need to register him soon
I live about 20 miles from my mum (but just short train journey)
And about 8 from mil (has a car)

Mil has now said she wants DS at nursery in her area

I thought it would have to be local to my house, but also if I choose her nursery then my mum would never see DS

I just thought it would be easier for all if DS was watched at my house within walking distance
Also by the time he starts DC2 will be here

So do you have to choose nursery within catchment like schools?
Do u think I'm being selfish for wanting to?

Definitely go for what's best for your DS, and ask your MIL to understand that. And consider just putting your DS in nursery 2 mornings a week. That's enough for him to get the benefits, and you can always increase it later if it seems like he'd like that. That way it's not so much of an upheaval for your MIL - would prob only be one of her days that involves nursery.

Are you anticipating that mil will also look after dc2 ? Maybe it would be better to have ds sorted locally with a cm to drop/collect if needs be while she focuses on just one child. She is going to "lose" time with ds wherever he goes and more so once he starts school a little later on.

Yes both mum and mil have said they'll look after DC2

Even when they are at school both mums will still get some 121 time with them as if my shifts stay the same I currently work 3days 8-6 and 1day 8-2 so even at school they'll have kids for a couple of hours after school
Currently DH starts work at 9.30 at the earliest so he does morning routines and drop off, I pick up and do nighttime routines.

If I changed my shifts to accommodate school hours then I'd have more time to take them to visit GPs