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Original poster

I am apparently a cruel, cruel mother according to random lady in Tesco. Are you?

77 replies

peppapighastakenovermylife · 17/04/2011 21:15

Cruel she called me. Actually followed me down the aisle berating me and asking 'poor, poor, sweet little' DD (yeah right!) if she was ok.

My crime?

I let DD carry the loaf of bread. She asked to carry it. It was a half sized loaf. She was perfectly happy and enjoying helping. Believe me she would have dropped it if under any strain or discomfort Hmm Grin

DD is nearly 3. Apparently this is akin to child cruelty and needs intervention. DD who is well known for her withering looked, looked at her as if she was barking (perceptive) and hugged the bread tighter. This just caused more horror.

So what random things have strangers decided you do which makes you a bad parent? I am used to the DS2 not having any socks thing but it is his main mission in life to lose as many as possible. But this one seemed rather odd...

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MollyMurphy · 18/04/2011 17:13

I don't know where people get their sense of superiority and lack of manners - to comment on some kid carrying bread or not wearing socks for pitys sake.

I had a lady come up to me in IKEA when our LO was about 2 month old. She advised me that you shouldn't take a child out of the house until they are past 6 months and that our son was really too young to be out and about.

Me thinks that one either never had children, or possibly had a maid to bring her everything she needs in life...? What gets me is she felt her opinion was going to be somehow important to us.

confuddledDOTcom · 18/04/2011 19:00

Lol that reminds me of many reactions to my premature babies being out, but Mum and I took great delight in playing people up Wink They could obviously hold their head up before it looked like they should be able to, like still in EB or NB clothes, we used to find it amusing when people were shocked we didn't support the head when we passed them between us so we'd play passing games. I sat my eldest on the counter at the GP surgery so I could get the red book out and the receptionist dived across to grab her lol I had to point out she was a lot older than she looked! My youngest used to freak people out who spoke to her when she was daydreaming by looking at them and smiling!

TysonSnowflower · 18/04/2011 19:06

HaHa, this makes me laugh, glad that woman doesnt live near me, Ive had my ds carrying a basket of light shopping, he wanted too and it was easier to say yes Grin

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MayorNaze · 18/04/2011 19:07

ha

i am deffo worlds meanest

all kids are in bed and i am drinking brandy

and they're not babies either Grin

chicaguapa · 18/04/2011 19:08

I must be a slave driver as DS(6) has made it very clear that he intends to have children when he's older so he can have a little slave too. Hmm

matana · 19/04/2011 09:32

Shame on you. Whatever next? Chimney sweeping? Diamond mining? Sweat shop labour? Have a word with yourself!

OkeeDoeKee · 19/04/2011 09:50

I was saying we looked like cruel parents the other day.

My six year old loves helping and to be fair he's now at an age when it is actually a help and not a hindrance. I had mowed the lawn but, at his insistence, ended up sweeping the grass cuttings off a fairly large lawn, used the secateurs to cut some of the bushes back and then tidied up all the cuttings to the compost heap whilst me and DP read the Sunday Newspapers Blush.

OkeeDoeKee · 19/04/2011 09:51

Oops I mowed the lawn but he did everything else. Obviously

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 19/04/2011 09:54

Peppa - I'm the other mad lady, the one who is always asking which aisle the lovely baby was in, so I can go and get one Grin If I'd seen your DD carrying the bread I would have thought she was really cute - I can't imagine someone thinking you are cruel - clearly a sandwich short of the picnic! Confused

I was sitting outside a coffee shop yesterday, almost finished my coffee. The whole time the baby at the next table had been 'fussing', not crying - just 'fussing'. I'd say she was about 4-5 months. She looked tired and like she just needed to be rocked off to sleep. The Mum was there was 3 friends (no other babies/children) they were all sort of chatting to the baby and stuff, but also trying to talk to each other - I was so tempted to go and ask if I could just take the baby for a little walk, just so they could talk in peace and the baby could fall asleep - but I was worried they'd take it the wrong way and think I was either judging them (which I wasn't) or just some complete baby stealing nutter. I loved it when I was young and asking to take the baby for a walk wasn't such a crime!

... completely off the topic I know, I still just feel a bit sad about it but don't want to start a thread :/

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 19/04/2011 09:55

OkeeDoeKee - those are some of the days I remember best from my childhood. We used to do a lot of stuff with Mum & Dad just because we wanted to and it was as much fun as going out - really fond memories x

heliumballoons · 19/04/2011 10:16

PMSL @ the 'prem baby shockers' Grin

My cousins DD was born at 23+5 and was 15oz. She is now 8months old and in 0-3 clothes. She has been on solids since 5 months (when she weighed 6lb!) and now she weights about 12lb but rolls over, holds her head up and can sit supported. She looks about 2 months old and mnay people keep telling my cousins DF shes going to damage her spine, she should have something on her feet (she wears tights and leggings when cold), and she is feeding her solids far too soon - picture an 8 month olds diet. Wink

My cousins best retort has been 'she survived being born at 23 weeks I doubt a bit of stewed apple will kill her' Grin

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 19/04/2011 10:28

Love this thread. I've never had any comments thankfully.

In our local (small) sainsbos they have those blue plastic baskets with wheels/handle and DD loves pulling them around. First time we let her we did end up with dog food though Hmm

Unfortunately both DCs are still at an age where them helping slows things down, but I should make more of an effort and encourage it. Any tips welcome!

I remember being so proud when DS was nearly one and had just learned to walk, I was sorting laundry and was annoyed when he nicked a pair of trousers - but he scuttled off to the kitchen and put them neatly in the washing machine :)

They both love sweeping and vacuuming too.

BertieBotts · 19/04/2011 10:42

I get around the time issues of letting DS "help" by thinking of it as two tasks, spending time with him and getting the jobs done - so however long it takes to get the jobs done without him, plus the same amount of time again which I might have spent doing a constructive activity (or just playing) with him = same amount of time spent overall, job got done, I spent twice as much time doing something with DS as I would have, I don't have to sit and play endless trains, and I'm imparting positive values about him helping in the home.

And then he does need/want some time to play alone without my input, so if all the jobs are done, I can use that time to mumsnet - win-win :)

2and1ontheway · 19/04/2011 10:49

The "grandma police" feel entitled to comment on anybody's baby and child rearing here, no matter whether you know them, but they seem to confine themselves mainly to comments on clothing - hats and gloves and boots must be worn at all times between October and March, sun hats must be worn during all other months, at any point at which a child is outdoors - don't know what they'd make of a child without socks Shock :) I used to get comments endlessly from strangers about DD's lack of gloves because she took them off constantly the winter she was just turned 2, I always had her gloves in my pocket after the first few minutes of any walk/ trip out...

On the other hand child labour is positively encouraged - the kids are allowed child sized trollies around the supermarket if they are good - I confiscate/ don't allow if they are playing up, they go down isles to fetch small items while I stand at the end of the isle with the big trolley for the heavy items watching them (I am heavily pregnant, they love being useful). They unload their shopping to the conveyer, load it back into their trolleys once scanned, and if we are parked somewhere where it is safe to do so in the car park they pack it into bags which sit in the boot of the car before getting into the car.... They are 5 and 3, and they get lots of comments (always from older people) but in this case all positive.

Mind you when I went to a parents eve for parents of kids starting school in Sept, there was a video shown about how best to encourage your children to build a good skill base, and the shining example case study on the video was a child living on a farm who was encouraged to collect firewood and feed and clean out the chickens! (Whilst appropriately clothed in hat and gloves of course) Grin

DD (5) and her7 year old friend from down the road have just finished, and done a really good job of, cleaning out the rabbit cage of their own accord whilst I sat here at the garden table - I didn't ask them too but that probably is child labour as it was somebody else's child too Blush - I have just rewarded them with a smarties ice-cream each so that makes it OK doesn't it? Wink

OkeeDoeKee · 19/04/2011 11:00

The only time I've commented on a child to a parent when out in public was when I saw a little boy of about three with his Dad with his nice little Clarks type sandals firmly strapped onto on the wrong feet. Dad was actually grateful and a bit embarrassed.

So that is allowed I hope??? Wasn't being judgey just helpful.

MaundyBra · 19/04/2011 11:02

Was it white bread?

ExpectoPatronum · 19/04/2011 11:30

Okee, you have just reminded me of the only arena in which I allow myself to be an interfering old bag... when confronted with Ballet Dad.

I have been known to stop a ballet dad or granddad who was about to send their little girl into a lesson with their tights on over their leotard. Or ballet dads standing, hairbrush and bun net in hand, looking as though they're about to cry.

I think they're fair game Grin

Gonzo33 · 19/04/2011 12:47

This thread has had me laughing!

The only time I have received bad comments when out was when my ds (18mths at the time) was having a tantrum because he wanted a toy from McDonalds and I wasn't taking him in. So I took 3 steps forward with my back to him (could see him in the reflection of the shop window) and let him get on with his tantrum. A woman came up to him and gave him chocolate, then said I was a rubbish Mum and that I should have let him have what he wanted!

Original poster
peppapighastakenovermylife · 19/04/2011 12:57

Maundy Shock of course not. Was rustic something or other with seeds a plenty Wink

OP posts:
prettybird · 19/04/2011 13:04

Reminds me of the frequent times ds (now 10) has complained, when asked to do something perfectly reasonable that "you're not the boss of me" or "I'm not your slave". Hmm

To which the respective answers are , "well, yes, I am" and "I'm not your slave either".

He's stopped doing it finally now. Might have something to do with pocket money that stops if he doesn't pull his weight....

Bad mother, me Grin

alligatorpurse · 19/04/2011 13:05

My best cruel parent moment today:

Me: DD can you get me a kitkat from the kitchen please?
DD: Can I have one?
Me: No you're about to have dinner!

KatieMiddleton · 19/04/2011 13:10

Well I'll have to report myself to SS then... DS has insisted on carrying a basket with shopping from 22 months old. He is very average height/weight but I've never had any comments. But I do shop in Waitrose dontcha know Wink Grin

However if one were to attempt to wrestle the basket away there would be the most almighty tantrum and it's Just Not Worth It.

I also made him walk everywhere from 15 mo

heliumballoons · 19/04/2011 13:11

Oh bertie Thats genius maths. Grin

twolittlemonkeys · 19/04/2011 13:14

My 3 y o insists on trying to carry a 4 pint bottle of milk when we go - goodness knows what she'd say about that...

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 19/04/2011 15:56

Thanks Bertie :)

I just remembered another thing DCs do to help - when the Asda delivery arrives they pick up the shopping and chuck it over the safety gate into the kitchen.

I do have to be careful they don't get to the eggs though.