So when do you leave them alone in a hotel room?

[meditrina]

with the holiday season coming up, I was wondering what is the MN consensus on when children can be left alone to sleep in a hotel room, say in these scenarios:

a) you are staying in a hotel with a "secure" perimeter (everyone has to pass reception to go in or out, fire doors cannot be opened from outside and are alarmed), you aren't leaving the hotel and there is continuous monitoring eg baby alarm?

b) same, but it's occasional phone monitoring, or the child has to ring down to reception for attention?

c) same, but perimeter not secure

d) you want to leave the immediate premises, even if it your destination is nearby?

I would leave a sensible child from 10

I am not allowed by social services to leave foster dd in her room at all, at any age. In fact they will only allow us to rent an apartment (and we would have to be present at all times - even if it was on a hotel complex)

I think it's stupid - as the rule would apply even if she was 15-18 -an age when people can get married, drive or go to university. I was at uni at 17 and living 500 miles away from parents.

Although having said that, last summer we paid for a sitter when we were only going downstairs for dinner in the same hotel and the children were 6 and 12 then

I've left DS (4m) asleep in his cot and gone to dinner in the hotel restaurant /bar from 7-10pm. Tiny boutique resort (11 rooms) and the baby monitor stretched to the bar so must have been less than 100m.

About 15 for all of the above. But then I only have a 3yo!

The posters who have said 'never'- do you mean not until 16? or 18?

DD is still a toddler, so hard for me to answer but I'd imagine leaving her by about 14 if I knew she had a mobile, locked door and could be trusted to obey the rules i.e. not leave the room. I think it would only be after I was very comfortable leaving her at home, as a hotel seems like a less safe environment- but before I considered her an adult.

If i wouldn't do it at home then i wouldn't do it on holiday either. I can't say what age i would do things until mine get there - eldest is 8. But at 16/18 they would surely be out with us anyway?

Teenage children certainly could be - if they weren't desperate to be out by themselves!

First time dd1 had her own hotel room was when she was 13 years (and a very sulky brat of a teenager). Her room was 2 doors away from ours and it was a tiny hotel in Paris. Before that she was never left alone.

You just don't, if your child goes missing in the UK it's hard enough to get the police to react, the Portuguese police took far too long to start looking for MC, the crime scene wasn't preserved, the mother was walking around waving the toy which should have been bagged and tagged for DNA, in fact I believe it went through the washing machine.

There is no way I would trust another country to do a proper job of finding the child based on what we have seen in portugal and greece, with the language barriers, not that I think the UK would be any better either, so when abroad they do not leave your sight for a moment.

You don't until they are old enough to go on holiday on their own.

What kind of crazy person would leave a child in a hotel room alone? Clearly the McCann case is front of mind but there are so many other dangers certainly for a small child and even plenty for an over-confident teenager who thinks they know best.

I wouldn't. I've never considered that anyone would steal them from their beds or anything like that, but am terrified at the thought of being separated from my babies in the event of fire.

Mum and dad didn't do this with me and my sis either, but then family hotel visits were just that - family occasions.

We go camping with a group of friends every summer. Once the kids are in bed the grown ups (ha!) sit around the campfire together, in the centre of the ring of tents. I don't have a problem leaving them in the tent and joining in with that - there's nothing flammable in the tent, we're no more than a few metres away plus we can hear them easily and see if they try to escape!

We left ds1 age 1 asleep in his room while we were downstairs at a wedding do in the hotel. Seemed completely reasonable at the time and several others were doing the same.

This was obviously pre-McCann.

Now I wouldn't do it even though I think the risk was negligible.

I think 12 is about right. But depends on the kids and the location.

I wouldn't but a holiday is a treat for us all DD included.

My parents never left me either - family holidays were just that.

Agree with dixiechick. We do everything together anyway so never come up.

Teenagers (say 14+) probably OK, but would never leave younger children on their own - fire risk rather than stranger danger. I'd never forgive myself if anything happened.

Maybe for 5 mins to go down to reception or something, but not longer.

I only left DS on his own once, having a nap in his travel cot at 1.6 yo while my mum and I had a quick lunch in a hotel restaurant downstairs and I went up every 10-15 minutes to check up on him.

I wouldn't do it again, though, with a small child.

OTOH, I think I would leave him now, at 9, if he wanted to stay in and read his book and I was close by, as he's a very responsible and mature kid, not afraid to be alone. Obviously I would leave him with a mobile so he could call me at anytime etc.

12+ if sensible. I would be more concerned of fire than anything else.

I used to work in a hotel where we offered a baby listening service (done over the phone). We would check the line periodically and alert the parents in the restaurant if we heard the baby crying. However, this was a very busy hotel in which we had to engage with many guests so the child could have been crying for a while before we realised. I was never happy that the hotel advertised this service.

I think I remember having our own hotel room from the age of 13 with younger brother being about 9. Before that we always went self catering.

Interesting question. This is why we've gone for self catering this year, so ds can be in bedroom asleep and we have the rest of the house and garden to relax in during the evenings, but really would have liked a hotel holiday so we get a proper break from cooking etc

A few people have mentioned that the bedroom door would be locked, but how do you know who else has a key/ access to a key?

At eleven I remember going on a school ski trip and we stayed in huge hotel, all scattered across the hotel. I think looking back we were too young to be in a room just with other children (four to a room), I remember leaving for some reason and getting lost and scared, although I was a bit of a pathetic child

Also, would you let your kids go on school trips or summer camps? Same thing.

Never. DC are 2 & 5.6.

We don't, to be honest when we go away as a family we tend to hire a villa so we can have wild sex with the door locked have our own space

I would also be worried about a child waking up and deciding they wanted to go and look for you or go for a swim etc

winnybella - good point!

DS12 has been on school trips lasting 5 - 7 days (abroad, with no contact) over the past three years, sharing rooms with pals etc I've never had any concerns. I was more commenting on DS having a room to himself which he had a couple of weeks ago.