dummy, potty training, big bed - which first?!

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

DS is 2.4 and we've just found out we're expecting DC2 beginning December so would be great if we can get him into a proper bed (he's still in a cot which we'll eventually need for the baby), wean him off his dummy (which he knows he can only have in his cot or in his buggy, so effectively just to sleep) and get him potty trained (which he currently shows NO interest in!) by the end end of the summer.....ish! Mainly so by the time the baby comes it's not another huge thing right after sorting out these others things, he'll have a few months being a bigger boy.

Obviously if he doesn't take to any, I'd rather follow his lead but just thought it'd be less traumatic trying to do any of these with a newborn, for him or for me! Especially as I don't want him to feel he's giving things up for the baby. And he'll be three by then which I hope is a realistic age to have done with these milestones.

The thing is, which first?! I work in theatre so it's very sporadic, I'm currently home full time at the moment but will be working full time May-July (thinking of finding a childminder who will do the potty training for me!), so another thing to take into account

Any thoughts massively appreciated

I would try dummy first. With both of mine it was horrendous but only for max a week. Plus if he is still in the cot he wont be able to get out and create a fuss, it can all be dealt with in a contained space.

I would do bed next as it might be useful for him to be able to get up and out of bed himslef with potty training. Plus they quite like moving to a big boy/girl bed in my experience.

I planned to potty train DS2 in time for DS3 who arrived 11 days ago and DS2 is still not trained (3.2) still not interested so a work in progress. Potty trainiing will be the hardest out of the 3 I imagine and for me the stress of preg didnt go well with stress of training too so we are going to tackle once DS3 has got into some semblance of a routine.

Just my opinions and what has previously worked for me.

HTH

I did big bed, potty training, dummy with dd1. She needed the security of her dummy to deal with all these changes including the birth of ds. We got rid of the dummy when she was 3 and it only took a couple of days.

Definately do big bed before potty training so they can get in and out of bed to use the potty.

I would do the bed first - the dummy may help him settle in it!

If he shows absolutely no interest in the toilet, I would leave until he is ready otherwise it's going to be stressful for both of you.

It's going to be a diffiicult time for him, with all the changes plus the new baby. If the dummy gives him comfort, I don't think it's a bad thing.

I think bed is the critcial one - but not normally that huge just can be a pain as they can then get out! I take it he is not climbing out at the moment thats when we moved my Ds1 - he was just over 2 -
Dummy - if he is just having it to sleep I wouldn't worry too much - probably want it gone before he is three I guess - but lots of children don't take that long to settle without it - couple of weeks max - so you could do it in autum with no problems
Potty training when he ready is critical - I like no cry potty training solution book it has a readiness questionaire - and expect some regression when the baby comes
I personally wouldn't do potty training around when you are working full time as it may put him out a bit in general - I would do before - if he is ready or after - more likely

I think I'll def go with potty training just when he's ready, I'd rather it take a week or so because he's ready than months because he's not!

If he still has his dummy when in a big bed though, won't it make it easier for him to start getting it out when not in bed? and I quite like the contained space idea. I def want the dummy gone a decent amount of time before the baby arrives, in case the baby ends up needing one and DS thinks he ought to have it when not sleeping....argh! haven't had to actively participate in developmental milestones since weaning!!

Congratulation!

I'd leave the dummy until last. Especially since it is only used in bed/buggy already.

I'd do bed first - he will probably be delighted to be a big boy in a big bed. All going well, that should be an easy win.

Once he is in the bed, next big boy step could be the toilet.

I recommend doing this in 'better' weather. You probably will have extra washing to deal with. Plus, you may be able to leave him run around outside back garden in his undies/t-shirt, and save yourself some floor cleaning. My DD1 took ages to get hang of toilet training. And frequent accidents just didn't bother her. DD2 got it immediately, and ever only had 2-3 accidents. So you just don't know what way that will go.

I'd leave the dummy until he settles in with the new baby - and then explain that dummies are for little kids, like the baby, and he is big boy who goes to toilet and sleeps in big bed.

I did dummy (18 months), bed (2y3m) and haven't done anything other than introduce the potty and he sits on it before bath, he is now 2y10m. No plans to rush this one.

In your situation I'd do the big bed and dummy together. And as you say wait for potty - that's not really linked to the new baby really?

I swapped the bedtime dummy for wind up torch? Was anticipating grief. Was amazed at no reaction at all.

Good luck.

(interesting skim reading through that there's no one way!)

I did dummy at 18mo, bed at 2yrs and potty training at 2yo 4mo,

but it might be as well to try the bed first, then the dummy. I would wait til the summer to try potty training.

Oh and with dummies I think you have to go cold turkey and chuck them all in the bin!!! We had one night of tears and that was it!!

Although saying that sometimes an emergency one is an idea incase they are poorly!

What's the general consensus on dummy and bed together? So big boy bed = no dummy? To be honest Loosing the dummy is what I rear most, he was a colicky baby who couldn't self settle, the dummy literally changed our lives.

I know you have to go cold turkey on the dummy, what did everyone actually do though? Did you replaCe it with something else? How long is it wise to leave it....if he's still screaming for it after 2 weeks should I give it back?

I did dummy (2.0), bed (2.3), potty (2.11). Yes I would say big boy bed = no dummy... so personally I would ditch the dummy before moving him but you know him and how much he needs it for comfort so trust your gut instinct (does he have a 'cuddly'?)

Dummy was a lot easier than I'd imagined it would be - I was more worried about losing it than DS was in the end! I got a toy in it's place - one that he really wanted (Bob the Builder tractor/trailer) which he took to bed with him as a distraction. I took the old dummies to nursery in a box and they ceremoneously gave them to 'the babies' in the baby room (that way it was a done deal and I wasn't the bad guy). I honestly can't remember any crying at all. He mentioned it at bedtime 'dummy dummy!' but I just said dummies are for babies not big boys. It was all over in about 2-3 days, honestly no big deal even though I was dreading it!

dummy fairy (or similar) leaves a present in exchange for all the dummies being left for it to take away

dd didn't have a dummy, but did have a small comforter teddy - which she became more and more attached to until she wanted to take it blimming everywhere... so the christmas before she turned 3 (2.10) we left 'the sacred one' out for santa on christmas eve to take for another LITTLE boy or girl to have as she didn't need him any more - santa was very generous with big girl presents that year in exchange

the dummy should only take a couple of days, I was amazed

the big bed wasn't even the slightest bit of a problem for our DS

and potty training, I think for best results you do it when they are ready

I'd do dummy, bed, and then potty training

ok - the general consensus seems to make sense to me - dummy, bed, potty training (when he's ready). Thankyou!

Next question - he does have his dummy in his buggy, wether he's sleeping or not, should I get rid of dummy full stop or try to get rid of it for buggy and car journey's first, then bedtime? He's starting to ask for it more and more which is why I'm quite keen to get rid, and does use it for comfort in his buggy (sometimes asks to go in his cot so he can have it)......argh!

my vote is go cold turkey on the dummy
honestly it won't be as bad as you think

I did this for the dummy, then the bottle for all drinks, then he just had milk out of a bottle(but a lot), so had to get rid of that.

you'll be surprised how quickly he gets used to it

ok - am going to have to do it before I start work I think, or leave it until late June. He no longer has a bottle, thanks to me leaving the final one somewhere and just not getting round to buying anymore!

With the dummy I cut down first, so it was strictly for bedtimes only for a while and then one day she went down for a nap without the dummy and I just thought well she doesn't need it to settle then. Knowing that reassured me that she was ready to give it up. Like I said the day I chucked them all in the bin and just put her to bed as normal there were a few tears but nothing too dramatic! I def advise getting rid of it sooner than later as ime it gets harder as they get older!

I did bed, then potty and then dummy with DS2.

Bed was easy. Just built the bed, made a huge fuss of how much fun it was, and he was fine.

Potty training depends on when they are ready. DS1 was dry day and night at 2yrs 6 months. DS2 was nearer 3.

Dummy, was two week before his 3rd birthday. He actually asked about the dummy fairy (someone at nursery mentioned it) and he'd chewed through all but 1 dummy, so I told him, when it broke, the dummy fairy would take it and replace it with a special surprise. Night before Christmas Eve, and the dummy fairy left a cuddly zebra. We didn't have a single tear.

xxx

I did bed, then potty and then dummy with DS2.

Bed was easy. Just built the bed, made a huge fuss of how much fun it was, and he was fine.

Potty training depends on when they are ready. DS1 was dry day and night at 2yrs 6 months. DS2 was nearer 3.

Dummy, was two week before his 3rd birthday. He actually asked about the dummy fairy (someone at nursery mentioned it) and he'd chewed through all but 1 dummy, so I told him, when it broke, the dummy fairy would take it and replace it with a special surprise. Night before Christmas Eve, and the dummy fairy left a cuddly zebra. We didn't have a single tear.

xxx

I didn't read any answers, im just giving my take on it (im too lazy .

Don't pressure yourself. December is a long way off.
It would be better to go at his pace even if it's near the baby arriving.

My DS was 2.7 when DD came along (also a December baby, aww).
I left him in the cot because I didn't want him getting up when the baby cried. I was glad of that. I only put him in a bed when he climed out at 3.3. Mind you, your DS will probably reach that milestone himself by December as he is older. So I wouldn't think too much about that one.

Potty training. Don't put a date on it, honest, it's vital there is NO pressure when it comes to this or it all results in alot of wet floors.

I bought a potty when he was 18 months and put it in the bathroom. He sat on it, drove it like a car, popped it on his head etc.
We just kept leaving the bathroom door open when we went for a wee (my DH would happily poo infront of him but I drew the line .)

When we were in the loo we would say, mummy doing a wee wee, thats what your potty is for, for XXXX's wee wee's and poo's. End of potty training.

Then around 22 months id let him run around alot without a nappy. The odd occasion he wee'd id say 'never mind, next time in your potty'.

I never pressured him. I never thought potty training was something that should be trained in 2 weeks, I never ever repeatedly asked him if he needed a wee (so many parents do this even when they are 4) I just let nature take it's course.

He was out of nappies day and night and never had an accident from 2.2.

The reason I took this approach is, I watched a friend decide her 3 year old should now be potty trained and she took a week off work and didn't go out. I went round a few times and the potty was in the livingroom and if she asked him once she asked him a million times "do you need a wee". No pressure then.
Towards the end of the week he wet the floor and she was getting uptight with him and even on occasions put him on the potty and asked him to do a wee or C,beebies was going off .

She kept saying "he started off so well I don't know why he is doing this now".

When he did the odd wee the applause and exitement would rival 'The Royal Variety'.

Needless to say, he constantly had accidents, wasn't out of nappies until 4, constant battles and he even smeared his own poo from his nappy all over the livingroom wall and his bedroom wall . I think he was trying to tell her something .

Dummy - what about dummy faries? Would he like that yet? You know, wrap them up, hang them from a tree in the garden and the faires will take it to a small baby and leave you a special present.

If you feel he wouldn't get this yet you could leave it for a bit.

Anyway, I don't know why I call myself quickchat - i never give short answers .

Never had a dummy

Big bed at 20 months with both of mine

Potty about 2.5

DD2 big bed at 21mths (due to climbing out, falling and breaking arm)
DD1 potty trained at 23mths, DD2 is showing no signs at this age will leave her until she's ready.
Definately cold turkey with dummy, told DD1 the fairies were taking them, only a couple of days of being bothered

I'm expecting no2 in June and DS is 2.6years. He never had dummy so one less to worry about but we've just done potty and bed - like you I wanted to get this done before no2 arrived. Had an abortive attempt at potty training at Christmas but he clearly wasn't ready. This time he took to it ok so he definitely was.

The bed thing was quite easy- he'd started to climb out too. Just made it quite a big event and went to pick bedding with him (he's into diggers etc) so would say try that first. He was very excited about it coming and knows that he is giving his cot to the baby and was quite pleased about that (especially as he thinks the baby is buying him a bike when she arrives - not sure where he got that from! ).

I'd do bed first! Do the potty when he's ready, but do try it a few times. So try for a few days if he's really not getting it, then give up for a while.

I would do dummy when you go away for a couple of nights, or if there is something else happening, and you can cope with disturbed nights. Just lose the dummy or forget to take it with you. If he is like mine they are always a little disturbed when going away so it doesn't make it much worse without the dummy. Then make sure the dummy can't be foudn when you return.

Bed was the least issue, although with DC1 he frequently went to sleep on the floor next to the bed.