Five week old needs constant picking up - screams when not picked up

[Snarfle]

I already posted some of this question in another thread but it's getting worse so thought a post with just this question might help me.

My 5 week old ds will only sleep whenj being picked up. If we wait until he's asleep and then put him in his basket he wakes within a few minutes and then screams. The screams stop when he is picked up. The same thing happens in his pram. If we are out and he is asleep in his pram he is fine. As soon as he wakes up he screams. If I pick him up he stops screaming and then once he is asleep I can put him back in his pram. I can't go out with him by myself as if he starts screaming I can't always park the pram, pick him up and rock him back to sleep i.e if I am walking in the town / am not near a chair / have bags etc....

Does anybody have any tips for me please? Is this just a phase? I can't even leave the room at home, am desperate to get him out of our bed (for the last few days he is really restless through the night so me and dh are shattered) and want to be able to go out with him in his pram by myself.

Thanks in advance.

Inmaculada my DD is in an Aden & Anais muslin swaddle right now, they are indeed fantastic.

OP my friends have been using a peaduatric chiropractor as a last ditch resort for their screaming ds. Turned out he had a trapped nerve or bone or something and coukdnt turn his head to the left. They hadnt noticed until then and it was obvious that was where the pain came from.

I'd recommend seeing a cranial osteopath. My DS1 was like this for 10 weeks until I saw one then underwent an almost magical transformation. I clearly remember having to put him in the sling just to take the rubbish out to the bin as I couldn't bear the constant crying and walking with the pram and screaming baby or more likely pushing the empty pram whilst carrying the baby. Traumatic entry into the world is a significant factor that a cranial osteopath may be able to help with.

quick hijack,zipity dd is like this,ive been crying again tonight its such hard work.Would she benefit?Had a planned c section with no trauma?ahe is 7 weeks.

ledkr any good cranial osteopath will tell you if they feel the baby doesn't 'feel' like they need treatment. My DS1 was a non-traumatic natural birth but it really did help him. I took DS2 as a precautionary measure when he was a couple of weeks old as I regretted waiting so long for DS1, DS2 was the opposite, very settled, not crying and the osteopath confirmed what I was feeling and said he felt fine and wouldn't benefit from seeing her again. Maybe if you post on a local mums website someone will have a recommendation (I am in N London). It does look a bit witch-doctory as it looks like they are not doing anything but for DS1 it definately helped.

I hope you get some relief soon, if you are like me you probably feel like the worst mother ever and it looks like all the other mums have happy, contented babies ... they will have other problems to deal with at some point. My DS1 is now a delightful and amazing 6 year old and all the hard work he was as a baby is paying off. Also because he was such hard work, it made DS2 seem a breeze whilst friends were struggling with their 2nd children.

i feel terrible yes,especially for dd1 who is 9 and who i brought up alone until she was 5,shes being very good but i just seem to have so littl time for her,she had co when new born as she was a little unsettled but made no difference tbh,thanks,i am going to try.

Sorry to butt in ledkr and zipity, but I just wanted to add that when I took DS to the cranial osteopath, she was telling me that babies born by CS often have just as much need for osteopathy as those born by traumatic birth, as they haven't been through the birth canal and therefore haven't had their heads "moulded" as they would have been with a VB.

Definitely worth taking your DD, ledkr - I can recommend someone in West London if you need it, just PM me.

I just want to add my vote to all the people who've said don't use the Baby Bjorn but get a good sling. I had a woman who came to my house and showed me how to use the sling properly so I got his knees right up so their hips are in the right position. It was really worth doing. It makes it sound as if using a sling is so hard and so expensive, which it isn't. I think there are some good videos on Youtube to show you how to use the slings.
Have a look at this too:

www.phdinparenting.com/2009/11/13/a-german-style-woven-wrap-is-a-great-investment/

Do try a dummy - my 5 week old finds it really soothing for a few minutes when I put him in his basket. I think it kind of distracts him from the fact that he's no longer being cuddled.

I've also taken him to a cranial osteopath after his ventouse delivery because his head was basically stuck looking right - made a huge difference within half an hour. The CO also 'treated' him for the ventouse, but I have no idea how to judge whether this was any benefit! Definitely worth a try though.

Huge sympathies to you - my DS had colic for the first four weeks and it drove me up the wall until we found a way to relieve it, so I understand the mental strain you're under. I firmly believe there will be something to help you, so keep trying.

Another swaddle and sling fan here - ds2 lived in one or the other for ages.

And ignore any 'rod for your own back' nonsense that may get spouted at you. DS2 is the most confident, unclingy toddler you could wish to meet.

He was swaddled until 7 months, first with a miracle swaddle from Mothercare ,then with plain jersey t shirt type material that I bought by themetre from John Lewis. It worked wonders for him, but the swaddle had to be really tight to work - if he could touch his face he had no chance of sleeping.

OP, on the cranial osteopath issue, we took DS to one when he was about 10 weeks (he didn't have any particularly bad problems and the CO recommended just one follow-up appointment which we didn't bother with). We weren't sure whether it was a good idea, so asked a paediatrician friend if it was okay. He said that CO was a load of bunkum but that it wouldn't do DS any harm either.

I'd vote for a Close carrier (or a ring sling) and swaddling with a miracle blanket too.

In fact, DS was swaddled for all naps & nightime till 5.5 months when he suddenly decided he hated it - and was miraculously able to stay asleep without it.

Oh you poor thing, I sympathise. My DS2 was the same.
We did the Harvey Karp thing (someone posted link below, Richard and Judy one) and it worked wonders.
I sometimes just tucked his arms into my chest rather than swaddling though.
Hope he settles soon.

My baby is also 5 weeks and I recently came across the Dr Sears website which has some really interesting articles on sleep. The bit I found most useful was on the stages of sleep and not transferring baby eg arms to cot or car seat to cot etc, until they reach a deep sleep (about 20 mins but he explains better). Although this makes putting him down after night time feeds a bit tedious it has meant he goes down in cot and stays asleep.

The midwives in hospital swaddled dd, that was only 7 mo ago so I wouldn't say it was a no no done properly. I still swaddle her arms sometimes to go to sleep, she has particularly 'wavy' arms sometimes and she struggles to sleep!

The study on swaddling and SIDS found the risk was higher for older babies who hadn't previously been swaddled. The risk is also linked to overheating... so, it's not going to be a problem with a 5 week old if you use your common sense and swaddle in a light wrap.

And if anyone's interested... studies on chiropractic and cranial osteopathy have shown that they are not effective treatments for anything (except lower back problems in the case of chiropractic). If you are going to take your baby to a chiropractor please, please, please make sure they're registered with the BCA and are experienced at working with babies.

Hi OP, no advice, just sympathy as I have word for word same problem with 4 week old dd, she won't even lay next to me in the bed am up all night holding her, and have fallen asleep several times sitting up in bed and am terrified I will drop her off bed in my deep sleep! :( so am following this thread with great interest, some great advice but a bit conflicting with the swaddling, wouldn't want to overheat dd, but swaddling seems s
to make sense, as it would stop the newborn 'startled' flinch they do that seems to wake dd every second. OP sorry to hear about you trumatic birth :( but was wondering if my dd could be suffering as she was born to quickly? It happened so quick my body went into shock, so what could have done to her? So she might benifit from c o? OP does your little one have problems feeding now? My dd didn't at the start but now screams during a feed. Hope you get some sleep soon x

snarfle rule out reflux too.

If he shows distress during a feed. Pulling off and on, arching his back (major sign), and screaming when lying down then it might be.

Easily treated with stomach acid meds and they grow out of it.

Keep an eye out just incase. Both mine had it but poor DS was 5 months when it was diagnosed so lots of suffering that could have been avoided if someone had mentioned it to me.

Hi mannicmummyhavinaiccy sorry you are suffering with the same thing. I know how tiring it is when you have to constantly hold your dc even though you love and want to give thme loads of cuddles you also need time to be able to go to the loo and sterilise the bottles!

Fingers crossed and touch wood my ds seems to have turned a corner. He hasn't been well (infection in his toe) but he is actually finding it OK to sit on his own in his bouncer for enough time for me to brush my teeth. He actually sits and chortles to himself. He is also finding it OK to be awake in his pram now whereas before if he was awake in his pram he woudl cry to be picked up. I am hoping this is not just a side effect of the antibiotics and is actually him starting to settle into himslef. We have also been putting him into his moses basket to get him used to it. He doesn't love it but he also doesn't scream when he is put in like he used to. My mam managed to get him asleep in it the other day by rocking it and singing to him. Also my dh managed to put him in it the other night after he fed him. He fell asleep on dh after his feed so he put him into the basket and rocked / sung until he settled again and he was in there for over 3 hours!! He usually sleeps on my dh so for those 3 hours dh actually got to sleep on his side for the first time since ds was born.

I saw the health visitor yesterday and she said that babies usually calm down and feel much more comfortable at around 6 weeks so like i said we are hoping this is what has happened and it is not just a phase. My ds still needs to be rocked etc to sleep (which is a nice thing to do) and he will only go into his basket sometimes but I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel (touch wood) and even when he is only in there for a little bit it is a start.

Re the feeding,my ds feeds fine ( I am bottle feeding now). We wind him in the middle of his feed and at the end and he always burps. He screams a little before we wind him and then is fine. Are you bf?

I really hope your dd starts to settle. I know how hard the first few months are - nobody can explain to you the exhaustion you go through due to the lack of sleep and the lack of time to do anyhting.

Sorry to hear you didn't have a good birth either. I don't know if that coudl have any effect or not. Like I have said the Health Visitor said the baby has to get used to the parents as well as the otnher way around so hopefully in a few weeks your dd will begin to be able to spend a little bit of timeon her own.

take care x