Five week old needs constant picking up - screams when not picked up

[Snarfle]

I already posted some of this question in another thread but it's getting worse so thought a post with just this question might help me.

My 5 week old ds will only sleep whenj being picked up. If we wait until he's asleep and then put him in his basket he wakes within a few minutes and then screams. The screams stop when he is picked up. The same thing happens in his pram. If we are out and he is asleep in his pram he is fine. As soon as he wakes up he screams. If I pick him up he stops screaming and then once he is asleep I can put him back in his pram. I can't go out with him by myself as if he starts screaming I can't always park the pram, pick him up and rock him back to sleep i.e if I am walking in the town / am not near a chair / have bags etc....

Does anybody have any tips for me please? Is this just a phase? I can't even leave the room at home, am desperate to get him out of our bed (for the last few days he is really restless through the night so me and dh are shattered) and want to be able to go out with him in his pram by myself.

Thanks in advance.

I was advised to swaddle by midwives when my 7 month old was born, so obviously mixed opinions on that one!

The Baby Bjorn sling isn't good for his back or yours, I'd ditch it. I second the recommendation for a stretchy wrap or Close carrier - I had the Close and found it brilliant, so comfy for both of us.

I've only glanced at the replies, so I'm sorry if some of this has been suggested already.

My son had colic and was like this for the first 10 weeks of his life. Swaddling didn't help him. I did take him to a McTimmoney chiropractor and it definitely seemed to help. You can't spoil a baby at this young age so I would co sleep for now if it calms him. Do whatever it takes to survive You won?t be forming bad habits for later on at such a young age. I also used a sling a lot as then my hands were free to do chores etc but also help keep him calmer.

You could try some infacol or gripe water at every feed for a while as that can help, if you're not using one or the other already. Make sure you wind them well and maybe wind them half way through every feed as well, if it helps?

He cried for 2 to 3 hours a night until aged 10 weeks, when I fed him in the day he'd be happy for about 20 minutes before he'd begin crying again. Feeding didn?t seem to help or calm him at night and I felt like I was at my wits end, in fact I used to make the mistake when he screamed of thinking he was still hungry, so I?d try and feed him on top of the wind and then he?d scream harder and then do a massive burp and bring the feed up, so I spoke to my health visitor about it at the time and her tips to try were:

Warm bath covering tummy.
Lying him on his tummy with a warm (not hot) hot water bottle under him to soothe tummy.
Cycling his legs whilst he's on his back. Holding feet palm to palm and rocking legs sideways, whilst lying on floor or lap.
Or scooping with right hand down his right side whilst holding feet palm to palm.
Or rocking him face down well supported on legs.

She also said don't eat anything that gives you wind such as brocolli, cabbage, caffeine, cauliflower, garlic or other stimulants. However I don?t believe there is actually any evidence that what you eat affects your milk. Certainly Tiktok on mumsnet also I believe says this (from memory) however I hadn?t started posting properly on mumsnet at this point, so I gave it a try. She said if none of the above did work I could try buying Colief drops from a chemist and mixing in with a feed by expressing it first, as she said sometimes colic is caused by a lactose intolerance. I never needed to buy these in the end.

I found that out of all of those the cycling the legs was particularly good. I also found that as he had trouble burping, the infacol made him cry harder as it coalesced the bubbles into one big one that still went downwards but hurt more. But giving him gripe water after every feed straight away really soothed his tummy. I had to do it every feed though without fail.

The warm bath in a quiet room was also a real help. Every night at the time he started to get agitated I would put him in the bath, in a bath cradle and keep putting warm water on his tummy and every now and then top the bath up with warm water, so it wouldn't get too cold for him. Once or twice he was in the bath for 2 hours in the early days as it was really calming for him, my poor DD watched a lot of CBeebies in those 10 weeks, much to my shame, as he was a Winter baby. Once he started doing big yawns and it was bedtime, I'd take him out into a dark bedroom and change him and BF him quietly and then often he'd go to sleep straight away. This was a huge relief after I discovered how much this worked for him. In the day I'd keep him up for only 90 mins only before putting back down for a nap and this also helped.

Remember things will get better soon lovely, sending you a very unmumsnetty hug. I found it so hard to see the wood from the trees at this stage. My tips may or may not work, as every baby is different but there?s my thoughts. There is some great advice on here though, I wish I?d used mumsnet when DS was tiny.

I dont think the OP wants to as it's not reccomended anymore mrsBumble....you can't blame her...as a new mum you want to do it all "right" nd if you're told it's dangerous then it's going to scare you off.

Swaddling is linked to overheating - less of a risk at the moment than in hot weather. I was told not to with DD (who actually really really needed it, I now realise) because she was summer-born and it was v hot. I did it with DD2 and it was great. Would definitely do it with another baby, using a swaddling blanket (Jo Jo Maman Bebe do a good one).

Harvey Karp recommends the 5 Ss for crying baby.
Swaddle
Side (lie baby on side along your arm)
Swing (sway from side to side in rhythmic motion)
Shush (shushing in the ear)
Suck (give your clean finger knuckle etc to suck)

It replicates the conditions of the womb and is brilliant. He has written a book on it but you really only need to watch this:

But it was recommended to me and i was shown how to do it by midwife 6 months ago! What ridiculousness to say you shouldn't swaddle. I think it's scaremongering

Another fan of swaddling here - I even bought the specific blanket things for it when we realised what a hit it was with DS (now 7 weeks).

However, and I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, could it be reflux?

DS was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. He was fine when being held (especially upright) but as soon as we put him down he would start screaming, after making gurgling noises in his throat for a couple of minutes - presumably his last feed mixed with stomach acid , then would cough up & start crying.

I took him to our local Out of Hours surgery & they diagnosed it straight away. He's now on infant gaviscon & is a different baby

Of course you have to use commonsense and don't swaddle a fully clothed baby in a wool blanket in july...

snarfle, if you're in London, I can recommend someone who helped with DS - just PM me. I've seen recommendations on the Midwives Association website that say that all babies should have at least one session if possible as it can't do any harm, but it can do the world of good.

showofhands, it's the guilt that's the worst. We only found out about cranial osteopathy when DS was 8 weeks, and after he went I just kept thinking "my baby's been in constant pain for 8 weeks - what kind of mother must I be not to know that??". Also very frustrating when you know that someone's wrong, but you're constantly flying in the face of "babies cry - it's normal, get over it".

Quite, mrsbumblesdosem.

HV's advice isn't always reliable. Take the HV that advised me to supplement BF with formula when DS was 4months. He was a healthy weight, but not following The Line on The Graph I didn't, and now, at 5 years old, he is above average, according to The Graph.

and also, it is just advice.

My dd (5th child) is swaddled within an inch of her life,she is 7weeks and had a very bad start,she will also not be put down for more than 5 mins she will fall asleep on me then zing awake when i put her down.

I am sat on my bed at the mo watching her try to wake up but she cant as she is in her swing the rocking keeps her asleep.

I was feeling fed up yesterday as it is a bind cos you just cant do anything can you?

Tips-swing. Slow cooker-put food in when dp is about to hold.
defo a sling i like the bright sparks one.

I am desperately trying to see this time as temporary and think that at least i cansit on my arse watching e newsrest while i can,cos we will soon be chasing them round everywhere.It still does get to me tho.
Good luck.

snarfle - my eldest also had a traumatic delivery - shoulder dystocia resulting in erbs palsy. he screamed non stop for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks.

it was knackering.

but it passed.

xxxxx

You're only going to over heat a baby if it's wearing a jumper, sleep suit, vest and use a thick blanket to swaddle with.
Use a light sheet if you're worried the action of swaddling itself won't cause cotdeath, they haven't a clue what "causes" it if they are being honest, just what seems to reduce it.

Fanilla- The Graph :o

I was told to swaddle by my gp and DD is 12w. We used a large cellular blanket when it was cooler. Now we use a large linen square and just a vest underneath.

Could it be reflux OP? My DD would only stop screaming if she was upright at that stage. Her symptoms were white tongue (not thrush), acid smelling puke and breath and a few others.

The gro company make swaddle blankets (though I've heard they aren't that effective - easily escapable!) and the company has a 10-year partnership with FSID. Many other reputable companies make them too (Mothercare, Jojo Maman Bebe). Apparently the Miracle Blanket is excellent. We used a thin cotton wrap from Jojo, then when DS got bigger we used an ordinary cellular blanket, then a Halo Swaddle Sleepsack. As a previous poster says, you just need to ensure the baby is dressed appropriately, the room is not too hot and the swaddle isn't too thick/heavy.

FSID's advice is that if you swaddle, make sure that fabric is light, the baby's head isn't covered and that the back is not face down.

Which isn't the same thing as not swaddling

Yes, another vote for swaddling and sling - plus safe co-sleeping if that means you get a decent night's sleep.

You are right though that 'crotch danglers' like the Baby Bjorn aren't ideal for long periods of time - you need a sling where the baby sits in it with his knees level with his hips. That way, the weight is better spread across his pelvis. Depending on your preference, you could try a Mei Tei or Ergo or ring sling or any one of the numerous commercial versions - try googling slings - there are some good on-line sellers.

If you get the right one that distributes your DSs weight correctly across your body, you should be able to carry him pretty much all day long. And you'll have your hands free to do other stuff.

FSID advice is that there is an increased risk of cot death with swaddling but that certain factors can help reduce risk (light fabric etc). That's not the same as being told outright not to swaddle, no. But most advice is just "guidelines" and everyone looks at the facts and makes their own decision.

Regarding the Baby Bjorn, my sister has the newest type (can't remember name, sorry) and the way the baby sits in it is far more like in a Mei Tai than the older style crotch dangler - I was quite surprised.

Thanks for all of the advice - I think I will defo try to swaddle - even if I just start with a half swaddle.

NoWayNoHow I don't live in London but am very interested in trying a cranial osteopath. Could you please send me the link for the midwife website where they recommend it please? My only worry is that he might not need one and it might harm him. Do you know if there are any potential side effects?
Thank you

Snarfle if you happen to live anywhere near Leeds I'll pass on the details of the woman who treated dd.

Thanks GoldenGreen- I live in the NE but have found a CO near me who specialises in babies. Did your dd benefit from it?

yes, I think she did - she was only 10 days old but we went because she was so unhappy about ever lying on her back and sleeping was impossible (we had to sleep upright all night holding her).

The osteopath very gently manipulated her head and tummy and said she thought there was an irritated nerve. She said dd might get worse before she got better, and indeed that night was terrible, but the night after that was totally different and she started sleeping in her cot for the first time. We only had one more session after that.

I am usually very sceptical about anything that's deemed alternative medicine, btw - but this really did seem to work.

thanks GoldenGreen

Dr Karp's 5S technique DEFFO worth trying!

Like most other things, swaddling is fine if you are sensible about it.

Aden and Anais do fabulous big muslin swaddles - a light, breathable fabric, if you're worried about overheating. Quite a few stockists have them. I swaddled DD in one in Spain during the summer and she was fine.

Good luck, it's hateful when they seem so distressed and you feel helpless, isn't it? Don't worry, lots of good suggestions for you here and your baby will grow out of this unsettled stage before you know it. I've posted on your other thread too about the wind issue.

And congratulations!

Just wanted to add my DS was similar and in fact I had him in bed with me until 9 weeks, when I tried the basket again and it was much better. Also, gripe water was much better than infacol for us (after six weeks).