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Parenting

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Original poster

How many siblings do you have?Has it impacted on the amount of children you would like/have?

73 replies

threecurrantbuns · 29/03/2011 21:35

I have a sister 2yrs younger than me and a half sister from my dads second marriage she is fifteen i havent really grown up with her as they live a fair way away so only saw in school hols etc.

So may sound awful but i consider myself growing up as one of two children.

Ive always thought i would like a large family. I have three now and considering a fourth so interested to know how many siblings you had and if it played a part in having your own??

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CheerfulYank · 30/03/2011 02:47

I have one brother. He was...a difficult child/teen who has grown into a difficult man. I love him, but I can't depend on him. I know that I will need to make all the decisions regarding our parents in the (hopefully very distant) future. He moves around a lot (is actually living with us now) and sometimes I won't hear from him for months or years. I know he loves me, but he doesn't really care for me IYSWIM.

So I would like 3 or 4. I always wanted somebody to depend on. :(

If I could choose genders I'd pick 2 of each, that way everyone could have a brother and a sister. It's what DH has, and I think it's nice. I just have one DS now, we're planning on another biological child in the next year, and then I think we'll adopt.

pinkytheshrinky · 30/03/2011 03:49

I am an only and not so much as a child but definitely as an adult it has been very lonely. My Mother was very ill and then died and honestly I then realised I was on my own. I now have 4 - two girls 9 and 7 and two boys 2 and 7 months - i am a bot old but we would love another.

Florrie2 · 30/03/2011 07:18

I'm one of 5.

I've always sworn that I'd never have that many children, as from my experience growing up, there wasn't enough attention to go around despite the best efforts of my parents. I have 2 dd's and won't be having more, as I'd like to give them both the focus they deserve.

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maddogsandenglishmen · 30/03/2011 07:22

Another only child here who was determined to have more than one. I had a very lonely childhood and now there is just me and my mum left I feel totally responsible for her and awfully guilty about living abroad.

Have 2 dcs now and would ideally like 3, but dh not so keen on another one - perhaps because he grew up as the eldest of 3.

yama · 30/03/2011 07:35

I am on of 4 and can honestly say that any number of children would have been fine with me. Dh is an only child though and I can see the pressure of having all the attention.

We have 2 dc.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 30/03/2011 07:40

I have one brother. Despite the usual fighting we were very close growing up and are very close now. We live 10 minutes apart, see each other weekly and our children are best friends. As
I get older I'm seeing that we are the exception rather than the rule but still, I would love dd to have a sibling and hope that they are as close. The sibling is proving difficult to come by though and time is marching on. I will be very upset if she ends up an only.

purpleknittingmum · 30/03/2011 07:43

I have a brother 3 and a half years older than me, we aren't close, I have very liittle contact with him, we just don't get on, feelings are quite mutual

Before our daughter was born, we had said we would like 3 kids as my husbans also has one older sister, but by the time she was 2 years old I knew I didn't want any more. I don't feel I do a very good job with one child and financially I know we would struggle

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 07:46

My dad is an only, which meant that he practically demanded that my mother have another child after I was born (she had quite a traumatic birth experience and was scared of another).

Naturally my brother and I fought like cat and dog and now do not have any contact (to be clearer, he is, I think, quite sociopathic).

I did want more than two but it's all been difficult, so we have one and we won't now have any more. I'm quite happy with that some days and not others. My father thinks it's unwise but there's not a lot I can do about that at this point.

ethelina · 30/03/2011 07:48

I am middle of five. I always knew I would have no more than two, and now I know I'm happy with just the one

I never wanted any child of mine to suffer from being in the middle.

MumInBeds · 30/03/2011 07:51

I have one brother and dh is one of five.

I am close to my brother and I have seen how hard my mum has found it in adulthood as the only child of elderly parents so I didn't want one child.

Dh was sure he didn't want an odd number of children as he feels one always gets left out so it was two or four for us, we decided on two.

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 07:53

Interesting about being the one in the middle.
I always wanted three because with two, I was stuck with just my brother.

I think I would have been a perfectly happy only child tbh!

cjdamoo · 30/03/2011 07:54

I have 2 younger siblings one of each we had a somewhat hate hate relationship growing up. I have 4 boys and an unknown cooking. I never wanted a big family it just kind of happened.

JollySergeantJackrum · 30/03/2011 07:56

I'm one of four. I'm the eldest, DB is 2 years younger than me and dsisters are 10 years younger than me. We had a fantastic time growing up and didn't feel neglected (except maybe briefly when twins were small, but that was more to do with them being twins than anything else).

I'm currently pg with dc1. Am convinced I want more than one. Three sounds good to me. DP was one of two and he agrees about having more than one.

We'll see how dc1 goes though - we might be terrible parents and decide not to put another child through our parenting!

Shodan · 30/03/2011 07:57

I am the fifth of six children. Although I always liked being one of a large family I always knew I wouldn't have one myself. None of us really feel like we were taken much notice of and by my mother's own admission she had 'given up' by the time I came along (for things like helping with homework etc).

I have two boys and feel that that is right for me- I can give them the upbringing I feel I didn't have.

My sister, though, who was the last of the bunch, is having her fourth very soon.

goingroundthebend4 · 30/03/2011 07:59

I have one brother .But my mum and dad fostered for years and have remained close to 3 of them who are all grown up and am closer to them than my brother who i have not seen for 4 .No loss trust me

I have 4dc ds,ds,dd and ds .17,14,8 and 5 .do not want more no thank you but i Do love having a large family

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 30/03/2011 08:14

i have two older half-sisters (10 and 13 years older), so in some ways was raised as if an only child. this made me entirely comfortable with the idea of dd being an only, which is what we had planned.

dd2 pitched up quite unexpectedly last year, and i am quite fascinated by the whole idea of having two with a smaller age gap (3 years). we are certainly stopping at 2 though as i have never yearned for a big family.

Honeybee79 · 30/03/2011 08:32

I have 2, a sis and a bro. My sis is a total nightmare and was throughout our childhood. It's really affected me. Having siblings is not always a great thing. I have one DS and I'm hesitating about having a second.

larry5 · 30/03/2011 08:51

I am the second of five. There is 16 months between me and my older sister and then the gaps became 3 years, 4 years and 5 years. I am not close to my younger brothers now we are all in our late 40s to 60's.

I have three children but there was a very big gap between ds2 and dd (15 years) so dd has been brought up as if she was an only child as her brothers had both left home by the time she was 6. People did ask if I was going to have another child when dd was born but having had the two boys who fought most of the time the answer was a definite no.

AlmightyCitrus · 30/03/2011 09:05

Only child. Hate it. Felt lonely for most of my childhood. My parents were great and did all sorts with me, and there were loads of kids my age on the street where I grew up, but once "playtime" was over that was it and I was on my own.
I worry about my mum now, she's a remarkable woman for her age, but she's cracking on a bit and I don't think I could look after her myself. It was difficult when my dad died as I had to do everything.
Worst of all, I have no-one to talk to or reminisce with about happy times as a kid, or remind me of things I might of forgotten.

I chose to have 3 dc's very close together and am expecting a 4th soon.

BeeMyBaby · 30/03/2011 13:23

I am the last of four, although my mother bore 5 and would have liked 5 (she was one of 5), DH is the first of four, although his mother also bore 5 and would have liked 5 (she was one of 5)- we too, would like 5. 5 in the magic number - we have one so far.

knottyhair · 30/03/2011 14:49

I have 1 sister - 5 years older. We were quite close as kids, although I think I got more out of it than she did! It has since come out that she felt quite resentful of me when I came along and clearly still has "issues" around her perception of our different roles in the family. We get on OK as adults but it's not brilliant. DP is middle child of 3. Gets on well with his sister but that's only since our DSs came along at the same time TBH. Rarely sees his brother (once or twice a year) despite him living up the road. We have one DS aged 7. We always planned to have a second but my BF's baby died shortly after birth around the time we were going to start trying for a 2nd, and it shook us both up so much, we decided to wait a bit, and we never really felt "ready". We are happy with our decision now, and so is DS. I think he quite likes the chaos at his BF's house (3 kids) but equally likes to come home for a bit of peace! My DN is also an only, now 22 and says she was happy growing up an only. You can never tell what will happen, and how your kids will feel about their situation as they grow up. I think you have to do what you feel is best for your family at the time .

tallulah · 30/03/2011 14:52

I have one brother. We were very close as children but once he hit late teens he went off the rails and we lost touch. As we've got older we've had less and less in common, and he really isn't very interested in family.

I always wished we'd had another sibling so I could have someone else to share with (I do the lions share with mum, especially since she was widowed). For that reason we had 4. They are grown up and closer now than they were as children.

We then had a "late" baby who will be an only. It has been quite an eye-opener to experience life with one child rather than a gang of them.

FrozenNorthPole · 30/03/2011 15:02

I'm an only. There was a lot of pressure on me growing up to achieve, and in many ways I still feel like the PFB (and they're soooooo disappointed in me!). I also worry about looking after them both as they get older, given that DH is the oldest of 3 and his sisters very clearly have decided already that he/we will bear the financial burden of looking after his parents too (one sister has no job or home, the other has both but a husband who can't hold down a job - tends to oversleep / not bother going in and who is little more than a child himself).

We now have 2 children, very close in age. DH wants one more, I'm holding out on that one although have agreed not to have tubes tied yet as am only 28 and I guess I have lots of time to change my mind (but I don't think I will).

BsshBossh · 30/03/2011 15:04

Was an only child, loved my childhood, now have an only child of my own .

SexyDomesticatedDab · 30/03/2011 15:08

One of 4 but never really see them.

DW one of four - see some more than others.

Have 4 DS' ourselves.

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