Can I have an idiots guide please on bringing home the baby

[wiltshire]

Please can all of you mums help. I am 34 & DH is 50. We have no kids at all and not a terrible amount of experience. What I want is an idiots guide from the moment of pulling up outside the house, putting key in lock etc. Any tips & advice would be fab from temperatures to how often to do the washing. I have gained such huge knowledge from you lot already so I know anything else will be invaluable (beg & plead). If I sound like a loony, it's because I am but none of the baby books I have read are terribly practical, they bang on about you will feel tearful tired etc but nothing else. Baby is coming on 26th so not much time.

Oh and stories of what any individuals did would be nice too.

make dh the gate keeper to keep visitors out. there s thread on this somewhere...

Get in some magazines. Set up PC where you can easily get to it (mine lived in the lounge for 1st month).

Live for the midwife visit! Highlight of our day!

Lol I remember when we brought dd home first. We just sat the car seat in the middle of the room and sat on the sofa looking at her thinking ok where's the instruction manual !!!
but seriously give me time to think of a few helpful tips........brain running a lot slower these days

Have bottle of Chanpagne waiting in fridge. Don't expect to get a shower or get dressed before 3pm most days. Be prepared to learn as you go and be patient, leave answerphone on and filter calls...
Try and have some nice meals in the freezer so you can still have decent food without having to prepare it or calling for take-away.
Good luck, you'll be fine!!!

yes we write chanpagne with an 'n' now in France

are you in wiltshire? wiltshire?

Put everything you'll need to change your baby's nappy in a box if intending to change on the floor, or unpacked into the change table if you have one. We had all our bits and pieces for a change tidied all over the house, and it took about 15 minutes with a screaming baby to find everything after an explosive poo.

Try not to come home from the hospital too late to do everything before bedtime. May not be possible I know.

Expect to go through a lot of sheets and sleepsuits the first night, and expect changing them to take ages. Maybe make the baby's bed and then put a pile of cloth nappies or bunny rugs one on top of the other. Then you are peeling off layers to get to a clean one, rather than changing a whole cot.

Forget putting all those lovely clothes in drawers and just pile them all in a box, you will go through them so quickly.

Have a lamp with a 20 watt bulb to turn on in the middle of the night.

Have two tables one on each side of the chair you will be feeding in. Put a sports bottle of water on each side. You will need the water and intially people are rubbish about putting a drink where a feeding mother can reach it.

Forget putting all those lovely clothes in drawers and just pile them all in a box, you will go through them so quickly

practise doing the car seat up (both the bits that go around the baby and getting the thing in the car).

And make sure you have somewhere for baby to sit safely (a bouncy chair is better than a car seat).

And good luck!

I found that having the mother or mother-in-law around extremely handy - never thought I'd want anyone there, but she did the cooking, the washing and the ironing so was a great help in the first couple of weeks.

Have some ready meals in the freezer for when you don't want to cook.

Also, have a roll of toilet roll by the nappy changing area, always useful for accidental wees etc!

I also had my mobile phone by the chair when I was b/feeding as I texted my NCT ladies in the middle of the night - great company!

Not sure if this is a good tip or not, but we put our dd in her own room on the second night, as she would fall asleep in my arms, I'd then put her down in the moses basket and have to carry her through to our bedroom and didn't really see the point as she'd wake up. yes its a pain when your b/feeding, but at least they learn from an early age where their room is!

wheres that thread that carriel strted for the new book?that covers this

Buy a lot more nappies than you think you'll need.

Cord stumps look disgusting until they drop off.

Don't expect to get any sleep the first night or two - even if the baby sleeps you'll be checking that it's still breathing every 5 minutes. (So sleep during the day when you can!)

Be proud of yourself if you get dressed at all the first few days (unless you have visitors who expect to see you in dayclothes.)

If the baby has a prolonged spell of crying and you are fairly confident it doesn't need feeding or winding or changing, either get in the shower (drowns out the noise and as 5 minutes is a long time with a screaming baby, it may well have fallen asleep by the time you come out) (in fact that's another thing, horrible as it sounds, let the baby yell for a timed 5 minutes before you pick it up again - some babies just yell themselves to sleep) or send DH out with the pram.

Also ask the nurses for a swaddling lesson - swaddling is brill - new babies "startle" a lot, fling their arms in the air and wake themselves up - wrapped in a nice tight bundle they feel more secure and don't fling. Pram sheets (flannelette) make good swaddles.

Do what others have advised and have a visitor-free period (we told everyone to allow us a week). Then, if you do decide on a visitor or want to go out yourselves, it will be a real surprise for everyone! Try to get out for a walk in the first few days to get over the initial scary time when you introduce yourselves back into real life. Everyone in the outside world will seem scary and potentially dangerous and your baby will seem the samllest and most vulnerable creature ever, if you're anything like I was, so you need to get over this so you can enjoy the comments you'll get from strangers!!
Don't expect any sleep then it will seem like heaven if you get any. Don't invite anyone in that expects you to make the tea/get dressed. If dh/dp can take time off, get him to take as much as humanly poss.
Good luck! It's all good fun!!

Remember that everyone else is doing just as badly as you.

Always get double the number of nappies you think you'll need, agree there.

Yep, lots more on that thread - you could actually get the details from tech, I think.

Think of your baby as a human being only smaller. They like baths warm, cuddles, enough food but are all individuals. There is no one-size-fits-all-approach IMO. Anybody telling you what to do 'exactly' is likely to make you feel as if you are going wrong if your baby behaves differently. Babies haven't read manuals. You may want to just sit and watch your sleeping baby, or seize the moment to open a bottle of champagne and order a takeaway (takaways are cool but after weeks and weeks of hospital food I yearned for proper tea and dh's cooking). Rest, put your feet up. Talk about your baby to your dh, if you like, nobody else will be as interested, except your mum. Don't expect too much of your baby or yourself. If you feel up to it, go out, stay in if you prefer. Have visitors if you like them, keep them away if not. Keep your house the temperature you like it, unless you are freaks who like freezing houses. Babies have survived without central heating for centuries. Put a cardigan on the baby if it seems cold (their hands and feet are always chilly so go by tummy or neck but don't stress. They just need one more layer than you do as a rule). Wash when you need clean clothes! At night you might want to give the baby a bath (plain water only is all you need - babies don't need chemicals, even baby bath) and change its clothes etc. The baby won't know day from night but you might like the ritual. Feed when the baby seems hungry. Expect the unexpected. My ds refused to sleep in his aquarium cot in hospital - only with me. So that's where he slept until he was Ok with his cot. He hated his moses basket, other babies love theirs. Don't expect too much. There won't be a routine at first. You will probably be terribly, terribly tired and sometimes angry and ressentful, particularly in the middle of the night when the baby wakes up. But sometimes when you know you should be sleeping you'll just be watching your baby sleep because it is so beautiful. I kept a fleece blanket on our bed, and when I was shattered I'd take ds and lie on the bed, holding him tightly under our blanket until we both went to sleep. That was lovely. Our nights were hideous! Agree get magazines, make sure you have food and a drink and the phone next to you before you start feeding, expect to feel really emotional about four days after the baby is born. It's normal. Try to enjoy the baby and not worry too much. Don't panic when the baby cries - it's what they do. Even when they are fed, winded, and clean. Sometimes it's actually how they get themselves off to sleep. Go out when you feel physically well. Have lunch with friends and take the baby. Go to galleries or whatever you like to do. Your baby will never be so sleepy or so portable!

Oh yes, Moomin reminds me - the outside world seems very scary. Driving, in particular was really weird. I usually love driving, but I couldn't face it at first. Luckily I'd been warned about this a couple of days earlier. Basically the world was just too big.

Remember if you feel ratty with the baby at night it will end and its normal to feel a little cross if someone wakes you up every 2 hours.

Ps for those nights when it screams thru your fave tv prog - subtitles are 888

aloha i have a dd 2.6 and think i do pretty well.I just read your post and think it;s great, i was reading it and smiling thinking.yeah.think i will print it for next time as i like the fact it has no GUILT in it as most directions for mums i feel do.(Not on here, just in general)

This thread is brilliant and I might print it out too since I'm sure it's going to feel like the first time all over again with a 6 year age gap. Some good tips indeed.

Here and \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=67&threadid=9365&stamp=030626135355\here are some recent threads, just so that you don't miss any of those tips too!

Whoops second link went pearshaped.

Have things in each room, eg, nappies, wipes etc. Don't expect things to go to plan. Ask people to help you if you need to. Sleep whenever you can. Try and have a bath or shower when dh is with the baby. Feed the baby when it is hungry. Meet up with as many new mums as pos, even if you wouldn't usually socialise with them.

PS. Do you live in Wilts?

Vaseline on bottom at nappy change makes it much easier to wipe next poo off. (Haven't seen this recommended recently, is it still OK, anybody?)

wiltshire, this is a wonderful but scary adventure you and DH are about to start. aloha mentioned just sitting and watching the sleeping baby because it is so beautiful, but what you can't be prepared for until the first baby arrives is the astonishing amount of love you suddenly feel for this tiny new person. (This is not all good news, because you tend to get a matching amount of anxiety, but the first time you see your new baby is incomparable, although watching other mothers' faces on Discovery Health is almost as good once you've got used to it, sniffle, sob, !)

pie's second link