Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

would you leave a sensible 10 and 8 year old while you had dinner with a neighbour?

77 replies

hatwoman · 26/02/2011 15:44

this is in a small village where we know all our other neighbours. both dcs have been left at home alone for short periods - including sometimes in the evening whilst taxi-ing is going on. They also do other independent stuff like walk to the shop and walk the dog. They're know how to use the phone and are happy with the idea of us going.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheCrackFox · 26/02/2011 19:24

I don't think Seeker was being bitchy. A 16 yr old should be able to sit an 11yr old sibling.

Greenshadow · 26/02/2011 19:26

Depends so much on Dc, but if they are happy and you are happy, then, yes.

ChasingSquirrels · 26/02/2011 19:26

I probably would.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/02/2011 19:29

Hatty - I did this at Christmas. Went next door for drinks/ and food and left our 10 and 7 y/o alone. They stayed up til 9 or 9.30pm but then we went home and put them to bed, then dh went back next door to carry on being sociable drinking and I stayed at home.

It just felt different to me after they had gone to bed. The thought of one of them waking up after a nightmare or not being able to sleep or feeling ill - somehow I didn't want them to be alone in the house if that happened.

AnnoyingOrange · 26/02/2011 19:31

A few nights ago, a strange cat came in our catflap and my cat went down to defend his territory. Blood-curdling yowling and some crashing around ensued.

I got up, crossly, to investigate and found my ds (11) awake, disorientated and quite shaken up because he didn't know what the noise was.

Yet I have left my 11 yr old alone in the day many times and he is fine.

Night-time is more scary - in fact I know some adults who won't sleep alone in the house

seeker · 26/02/2011 20:06

Bitchy? Exactly how was my comment bitchy?

exoticfruits · 26/02/2011 21:34

I find it extraordinary that a 16 yr old can have left school and have a job,join the army, can be married with a DC and yet can't babysit an 11yr old!!!
I would if it was next door in a small village, I presume you have a mobile and in the unlikely event that they house catches fire they can be knocking on the door within seconds!
The only question is-are they happy to be left? and the answer appears to be 'yes'-so I would get on and do it.

rosie1979 · 26/02/2011 22:22

No, because I would worry about house setting fire, someone watching the house, burglars...I also think 10 is very young and too much responsibility.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 26/02/2011 22:27

what ever you decide to do, don't put them to bed and not tell them you are going out. Worst of both worlds that.

Dancergirl · 26/02/2011 22:33

Hmmm, tricky one....and I'm usually quite laid back about this sort of thing. Is the neighbour next door? If so, I probably would...but I would pop and check on them every so often.

Re the fire risk - why is everyone so obsessed about house fires? They are v rare and if you have good smoke alarms and teach children what to do if a fire starts or they see/smell smoke, I don't see a problem.

caughtinanet · 26/02/2011 22:39

Yes I would as long as I wasn't going to be out too late.

florapup - have to agree that it does seem odd that you're not happy to leave a 16 year old and 11 year old - do you leave the 16 year old alone at all?

BlackType · 26/02/2011 22:43

I wouldn't myself - but it's hard to say, as I can't imagine ever leaving Asperger's child on his own (he'd be the one starting the house fire).

Seeker, your remark was unkind. Or maybe just unkindly phrased.

exoticfruits · 27/02/2011 07:54

I can't see anything wrong with seeker's remark, if you can't leave your 16yr old with an 11yr old then something must be wrong in the way you brought them up! As a parent it is your job to prepare them.

Do you all expect your house to burn down at any point-or is it just something that can't happen with you in it, but will occur as soon as you leave it? I went to bed last night without it giving me a moment's worry. If you are only next door I can't see why it is a problem and I would put money on it not setting on fire while you have dinner.

SunshineisSorry · 27/02/2011 08:01

here's an idea - get a baby sitter! if not, stay in, its what we do.

exoticfruits · 27/02/2011 08:05

It is next door in a smaall village where the DCs are happy and have enough gumption to find their parents within about 60 sec-why pay a babysitter?

exoticfruits · 27/02/2011 08:07

This isn't a 6yr old and a 3 yr old-they are 10 and 8yrs-old enough to follow rules and talk through possibilities as in what to do if the house sets on fire.

mrsravelstein · 27/02/2011 08:08

i didn't read seeker's remark as bitchy... i agree totally that it would be very odd if a 16 year old couldn't be left in charge of an 11 year old for a few hours. i was babysitting at 14... admittedly only for neighbours and knowing that there were adults very nearby who i could call if there was a problem... but in answer to the OP, yes i think i would

SunshineisSorry · 27/02/2011 08:10

and young enough to feel anxiuos with parents out of house, cant neihbours go to OP>

baskingseals · 27/02/2011 08:12

yes definitely

enjoy your evening

beijingaling · 27/02/2011 08:12

I would but I'm not sure if DH would.

Seekers remark wasn't bitchy at all.

Bonsoir · 27/02/2011 08:15

Yes, definitely, providing the children were totally zen about it.

exoticfruits · 27/02/2011 08:15

If they felt anxious they wouldn't do it. The whole point is that the DCs are happy, so it would be mean for a parent to load their own anxieties onto the DCs (especially when they are no real ones-they are only next door!)

flippinpeedoff · 27/02/2011 08:16

No, I wouldn't, not at night. Have done so in the day. It's not right to leave them alone at night.

exoticfruits · 27/02/2011 08:18

At 16 yrs old I had 2 regular babysitting jobs and at one I used to stay the night if they were out late. I was responsible, so I find it amazing that someone won't leave an 11yr old with a 16 yr old. I had 2 under 5's until about 2am-and the house never caught fire!!

alistron1 · 27/02/2011 08:18

At 10 and I'd think they were a tad to young to be left for a few hours in the evening and I'd find it hard to relax...unless it was next door neighbours or something.

However, when I was 14 my mum got a much needed evening job in a restaurant. My dad worked shifts, so for 3 evenings a week I looked after my 5 year old sister from 8pm until midnight.

I think it was a good thing IMHO, it taught me a level of responsibility and made me feel that I was doing my bit to help out my parents.

My oldest DD is 14 and I'd have no issue with her looking after her 7 year old brother. However the bickering of my 12 year old DS1 and 13 year old DS2 might prove too much for her, after all she's not old enough to seek solace in wine and gin

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread