Next time ( i have a baby) I will.............

[sungirltan]

Stop obsessing about housework and just enjoy my nb.

Buy lots more sleepsuits/vest/muslins so I don't have to enslave myself to the washing machine EVERY DAY!

Use the sling from birth if I can - much less hassle than heavy pram.

Get a cot that attaches to the bed - best of both worlds i reckon.

Buy a mahoosive freezer and fill it whilst pregnant :-)

Tell people that say things like 'oh you musn't pick up the baby every time/rob for your own back blah blah' - 'i refer you to the several academic books on the shelf there which strongly support my notion that this is not a good idea' - or hit them with said books :-)

What will you do differnely? Whaqt will you do in the same way with baby no. 2/3/4....

No more for me, but actually I would do everything exactly the same I think.

Those are all good..

I know I will be flamed for this but... formula feed the 10pm feed so DH can do it and I can go to bed early and feel refreshed when I have to get up at 1am or whatever.

It might not be approved by many but I will be a better person for it!

I like your suggestions. DH's office may become the freezer room!

Have done things largely the same with more confidence (cuddling, carrying, feeding on demand see DD1 for evidence of success) and less guilt (can't express so like the PP daddy does a night time bottle of formula so I can get a chunk of sleep). Having a much, much easier baby certainly helps.

continue to ban most visitors for at least 3 weeks, worked wonders for us as a family.

I agree SenoritaViva - that is top of my list for DC2, due in July. Expect to get flamed too, but I found breastfeeding sooooooo all-consuming and regret not supplementing one feed a day to give myself a break (And allow DH that one-on-one time with the little one.)

My other plan is to stop stressing about 'entertaining' the baby and worrying about whether the newborn is 'bored'. (I was VERY precious with my first!!) Now I just intend to spend time enjoying them. Lots of cuddles & kisses & quiet time together....

I agree with Brightsideoflife and Senoritaviva about getting DH involved in nighttime routine early. I have loved breastfeeding, but at 8 months DS still has some issues with DH doing the nighttime feed and makes it difficult if you are going out or the nights you just want to out your feet up.

I would however, express and bottle feed for as long as possible until the expressing really becomes a chore. I did give DS formula at night from about 4 months as he would wake every 2 hours for about 6 weeks and thought I was going to die (ok bit melodramatic).

I woud also try and not breastfeed to sleep and try to keep baby awake to be put in moses basket etc, but I remember thinking I didnt want to do that with DS and it was just impossible!!

Will get flamed but....

If there is a next time I will give colostrum them move straight to ff. I will not spend weeks in tears. It's not for some people. 'Some people' includes me, and no bf support group or midwife will change that. I spent ages expressing when I should've been catching up on sleep.

I will relax... they don't reach the age of four and still have their days and night s mixed up.

I will buy cheaper stuff. Throwing money at a child as if it is a problem that can be solved with the most expensive stuff out there will not make you a good mother!

After one I just knew I would never, ever have another - and I didn't .

The only things I would change are: to get baby napping on their own earlier - DS was fed to sleep until 10 mo and it was a devil of a habit to break (broken only because I was going back to work and needed another way of doing things).
And again, getting DH involved more. Basically he helps with playing, and that's all. Not good enough in my book!

I probably won't have any more but with DS2 I totally agree the best bit is having more confidence. DS1 was cuddled, carried, co-slept (all the rod for your own back brigade's no-nos!). He is a brilliant sleeper now and I'm glad I didn't listen to anyone who told me I would have trouble later but it did worry me at the time.

With DS1 we listened to the midwives who said too much milk would upset his stomach and he was crying in pain from it, have since discovered MN, DS2 has been fed all evening if he wants and so far we've not had to endure evenings of screaming. This still makes me for DS1.

Relaxing and enjoying more, this time I'm trying to appreciate all the newborn moments instead of wanting to get to the sleeping through the night/ sitting up/ crawling stage more quickly. I'm trying to make sure I can always remember how soft stroking a newborn head is and not letting everything merge into a sleep-deprived blur.

Not sure I'd change much but I agree about the 10pm feed. If I can find time in the day around my toddler DD I will express for the 10pm feed, otherwise it'll be formula.

I will definitely not bother to go to the baby clinic to get my newborn weighed each week. Queuing for an hour with toddler and newborn to be told some guff by an HV who can barely pronounce English words is a waste of my time.

I will be stricter with daytime naps earlier on rather than waiting until 4 months and wondering why I never got a break in the day and my baby didn't know how to settle herself .

I will not not listen to all the co-sleeping, exclusive BFing until they're in school, non-routine, BLW purists on here. I did last time and it wasn't helpful.

Second baby due anytime about now

i agree with most suggestions on here but would like to add that i would def not go into hospital with ANY birth plan!! after my idealistic earth mother plan was turned upside down inside out and back to front to an emergency section!! i will not beat myself up about not being able to breastfeed.

i will try not to cry everyday for 2 weeks about the possibilty of dc catching germs or growing up (i cried when my dh said something about him starting school) i will try my best not to spray every visitor with antibac gel as they walk thru the door!! i will definitely not be sucked in by all the cute extremely over priced outfits and will be keeping baby in babygrows for first few months, i will not bath dc religiously everyday, i will not worry about following every guideline as co sleeping worked brilliantly for us...

wow!! i would change quite a lot!! i have turned into a complete freak since having ds (7 months) and am very guilty of pfb syndrome!!

pip haha! I kept a massive bottle of antibacterial hand rub and asked everyone who wanted to pick DS up to use that first God, what a freak! Seriously, what an arse!

crazy I agree. That's the only thing I didn't listen to with DS. We got into a good routine straightaway even though the midwives looked at me like this and but now I have a baby that is happy and satisfied and so I am happy Good luck!

There won't be a next time, but if there 6were^ to be a next time, I would:

FDo what I did with no.2 (after leanign the hard way with no.1) and forget about routine for the first couple of months.

I will breastfeed for a week or two, to get the initial goodness, and then nish it off. It hurts, I get hellish mastitis no matter what I do and nobody on God's green earth has been able to help me (GP, MW, HV, la Leche, NCT, friends, private lactation peeps etc etc).

I will not be all angsty about going back to work. Work is good. It keeps your brain ticking and gives you self respect.

I will NOt sit on ym arse stuffing myself with biscuits. I will lose the weight quicker (took 18 mths with no.1 and 12 mths with no.2, so maybe 6 mths next time ?)

I will never, ever, ever go to a toddler group or monkey music or baby swimming lessons again. Hell.

beebox haha! Monkey music; I'd love you to give me a detailed description of what's involved in that please, actions included

I went to a toddler group today. Second time I've been to one. It's a great group but oh my god the other women are completely insane...

I will be less anxious about the logistics of caring for a newborn.

However, I will probably be more anxious about the logistics of caring for a toddler and a newborn.

I will attempt to get some good sleep habits going early, but won't beat myself up about it.

I won't give a dummy unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.

I will be ready with Dr Karp's 5S technique.

I will understand fully and properly that most babies do not just 'drop off' to sleep and many of them need to be taught.

I will remember that newborns need to go back to sleep approximately every 90minutes or so...

[thus speaks the parent of a 2 year old who still goes hysterical from lack of sleep when she is over-stimulated - which happens A LOT)

I would spend more time cuddling my baby. I was so set on getting into a good routine and teaching ds's to sleep in their cot that I feel now I was almost scared to let them sleep on me incase that was it they never slept in their own bed again.

I wasn't/aren't a highly strung mum but next time I would definitely spend a lot more time on my bum on the sofa snuggling with my little one. As I aren't going to have one I guess I'll stick to cuddling my big boys (3 and 4!) while they veg out watching Ben 10!

I will ignore the bollocks about nipple confusion meaning you shouldn't introduce a bottle before 6 weeks - I didn't attempt to introduce one until 8 weeks following this advice and am paying for it now as DS is now 15 weeks and still refusing one.

I will stop getting stressed that I'm not stimulating my newborn baby enough (I spent ages carrying him round the house, obsessively showing him things, panicking if he was lying in his moses basket without something black and white to look at...when I could have been snuggling on the sofa with him. What was I thinking?)

I will be a LOT firmer with MIL about handing the baby back to me when he's crying in hunger, rather than letting her doing the walking away and jiggling thing.

I will accept more offers of help to clean the house.

Worry a lot less.

Co-sleep and from the start before suffering 11 months of distrubed nights before getting properly going with it.

And what IC said

whats 5S immac??

thanks for all the replies. i remembered some more. when number 2 is nb and high maintenance i will be much more assertive. i remember standing waiting to get in the feeding room in mothercare with dd scremaing whilst a load of in laws cooed over an already fed and changed baby and didnt make eye contact with me even though they knew i was waiting. i just stood there trying not to cry. god help them if theres a next time - i've toughened up now!

i will not try to take on another massive task whilst new baby is under one. it took me months to learn to drive post dd. i realise if i've just waited until dd was at least 9 months and i'd got over that new baby chronic anxiety that i'd have learned to drive several months and hundreds of pounds more quickly. hey ho lessons learned!

i don't think i'll bother with washable nappies again. i really tried with dd but she screams blue murder at every wee! i'll carry on with my compostable nappies and try not to feel guilty.

i won't sign up to all those online baby clubs - i'm still getting loads of spam and crap samples that are no use to me.

i'm not trying to express and feed next time - was such hard work and not worth the effort. dh will just have to help me in other ways!

i'm going to try not to put huge pressure on myself to lose weight in the first 6 months next time. i will be a blob but after i stopped feeding dd at 12 months it all came off anyway.

Harvey Karp 5 Ss .

I would probably do mostly the same as with DD2, except I would try to limit the amount of Breastfeeds to two a day after a year.

oh yes, and swaddle from the beginning, oh yeah!