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Original poster

Next time ( i have a baby) I will.............

63 replies

sungirltan · 08/02/2011 11:10

Stop obsessing about housework and just enjoy my nb.

Buy lots more sleepsuits/vest/muslins so I don't have to enslave myself to the washing machine EVERY DAY!

Use the sling from birth if I can - much less hassle than heavy pram.

Get a cot that attaches to the bed - best of both worlds i reckon.

Buy a mahoosive freezer and fill it whilst pregnant :-)

Tell people that say things like 'oh you musn't pick up the baby every time/rob for your own back blah blah' - 'i refer you to the several academic books on the shelf there which strongly support my notion that this is not a good idea' - or hit them with said books :-)

What will you do differnely? Whaqt will you do in the same way with baby no. 2/3/4....

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Udderly · 09/02/2011 10:01

I won't bring half the shit to the hospital with me. I looked like I was about to move in permanently, though I just brought what they listed and a few 'essentials' from baby websites. I'll have it at home and DH can bring it as required.

You can have too many maternity pads - I havr enougj to do for 5 pregnancies!!

I will only buy babygros with the roll down hands covers, no faffing around with scratch mitts.

I'll take more pics in the hospital.

I will stand up and say 'Oh its time for a feed' bringing baby with me upstairs to bed. They can take the hint and fuck off or if they don't, I won't be entertaining them. On another note, when visitinh friends who have recently given birth, I will stay for 20 mins after making tea myself.

I won't 'need' to buy such a range of crap - slumber bear anyone?

And on that note, co-sleeping in the bed from the word go. Another must have piece of shit I had to have was an arms reach co-sleeper. Don't be fooled, there is a kind of a bar seperating you and baby so you still have to lift them in and out to feed them. I feel am ebay sale coming on!

I think I will be a lot more relaxed though as I know what to do with a baby now. I had never changed a nappy before she came along.

AKMD · 09/02/2011 10:11

I will be more assertive.

I will tell every MCA who shrieks at me for doing something 'wrong' that they are being rude and it's my baby thankyou.

I will not be too embarrassed to breastfeed a screaming baby in the post office while I wait for the 100 people in the system before me to have their turn.

I will not have visitors for the first 3 weeks, immediate family excepted. Immediate family visiting times limited to when it's convenient for me.

I will not drag a nb around the country visiting every relative who can't be bothered to come and see us at home.

I will have a prescription for Paroxetine in my hand beore I leave hospital and will go to every weird baby group going to keep myself from running away.

Ditto the sleepsuits with integrated scratch mitts.

I will not feed baby to sleep Confused

I will insist on a bedtime routine from the word go rather than getting round to it at 15 weeks!

FrozenNorthPole · 11/02/2011 13:17

If there is another one ...

I will try and make sure DH is actually present / in the same country for the birth.

I will not let any health professionals railroad me into giving formula because my babies are always small / early ... unless there is an actual medical indication for it.

If the baby has reflux I will not listen to crap HV advice that "she's just a bit sicky". If I am told that I shall hang around the clinic until the baby "possets" all over the HV's desk and/or HV.

I will do almost everything else the same as I've done it for DD2, because her babyhood has been wonderful compared to the stress of DD1's.

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putthekettleon · 11/02/2011 15:01

I will follow my instincts. That's what I've done with DD2 and she is the happiest baby ever. Coslept, BF on demand, no stress about routine. Ignored every bit of 'advice' I didn't agree with, and all the better for it.

With DD1 I didn't have the confidence to follow my instincts and ended up giving a bottle too soon which put an end to BF, stressing about routines, pacing the floor at 3am when I should have just brought her into bed.

Tupperwarewolf · 11/02/2011 21:07

The same, but I won't worry about it so much next time (hopefully) :)

Tupperwarewolf · 11/02/2011 21:08

PS OP our cot didn't technically attach to the bed, but we just removed one side of it and used bungee cords to tie it on, then shoved the cot mattress over to the bed and put rolled-up towels down the other side to keep it in place. I think actual side-car cots are expensive.

Beveridge · 11/02/2011 21:19

I will breastfeed lying down/co-sleep at night - instead of sitting on the end of my bed feeding for almost an hour at a time at 11pm, 1am, 3am,5am and 7am. Yes, I must have been mad....but I stupidly thought that if I was awake, I could fill DD1 up 'properly' so she would sleep longer between feeds. Ha!

This also means I will not be driven to throw things at DH when he snores as I will be dozing too.

lalamom · 14/02/2011 06:36

co sleep from day 1 instead of waiting 14nights.

OADCB · 14/02/2011 07:01

I will have a bedside cot

Partner will give a dream feed and I will retire to bed early

I will cuddle baby more and not worry about it getting clingy

I will take lots more photos

Now all I need is the double line on a stick!

mumofone1984 · 14/02/2011 07:16

Next Time (if there is one) I will do these things differently:

I wont be bossed around and manipulated by my midwife

I will take any and all offers of help

I wont spend vasts amount of money on things that really arent neccesarry

WaddlingSheep · 14/02/2011 07:31

I wouldn't do much differently but I will try to have more confidence. Last time I felt so self conscious like people were watching what I was doing thinking, "oh look at her she doesn't know what she's doing!" when they aren't.

If the baby ends up being FF then only me or DH will be feeding. It bugs me that when you FF that everyone expects a turn "feeding the baby" it's going to be mummy/baby time this time. I'm probably BU there but I don't care!

Baby number two due any day now Grin.

FreudianSlippery · 14/02/2011 07:33

Interesting thread! Especially as DH and I are in the process of deciding whether to TTC for a third baby.

  • not find out the sex at 20wks. We have a boy and a girl already so it's not such a 'big deal' - I'd love this one to be a surprise. But actually I'm really not sure we could wait! Knowing the sex and choosing the names really helped us bond I think.
  • use a different sling. We've got a boring tomy one which was a right faff and I hardly used it. I'd like to try a ring sling/hippy style one :)
  • not use formula at all. DD was mix fed from birth (BFing disaster, difficult latch, no support, guilt, PND, blah blah blah), DS was jaundiced/low blood sugar and we ended up topping up with formula for 2 weeks. I'd love to not have to do that this time. BUT I'm also determined that if it doesn't work I won't beat myself up over it.
  • stay healthy during pregnancy - in fact I'm now losing weight before we decide if we will TTC. I cannot handle another pregnancy at this weight/lack of fitness.
  • try to get into a sleep routine earlier and stop feeding to sleep. DD was easy, she had FF and a dummy at night and slept through, DS is only just sleeping 10-7 and at 17m is still BFing to sleep
  • not buy/have so many clothes/toys (have no excuse this time anyway as we've had a boy and a girl)
  • get the house more organised before baby arrives. Again this is something we are working on now, it's one of our 'if we can do this then we will TTC' things.
WaddlingSheep · 14/02/2011 07:34

Oh and enjoy it! Last time I was so worried about doing things right that the time just seems to pass by. I'm going to try and have a lot more cuddles this time!

Wormshuffler · 14/02/2011 07:45

I would

  • have a go at breastfeeding.
  • ring the bell more for the midwives to give me the baby so I dont split my scar again.
  • not buy electronic toys.
  • have longer off work
  • go to more baby groups
  • Co-sleep/ sleep in the same room
  • Get second hand stuff
  • try to cure my internet habit.....
MarthaFarquhar · 14/02/2011 08:01

give a bottle from the get-go

Oneof4 · 14/02/2011 09:52

My first DC is due on Saturday, so this is an illuminating thread! Thanks.

CBear6 · 14/02/2011 10:07

I will not buy any super cute yet super impractical denim dungaree sets for my newborn. Denim and newborns do not mix and dungarees and newness especially so, they just sort of end up with the straps around their ears and the front part covering their chin while the undershirt is somewhere in the region of their armpits. Babygros, cotton rompers, and onesies are all I need.

I'm going to buy a box of ready made milk so I don't have to worry about making any for a few days. Please don't flame me for not breastfeeding, breastmilk may be best but sometimes the actual act of breastfeeding isn't, I have the utmost respect for anyone who can do it but formula feeding was best for us.

I will not let anyone make me feel bad or that I'm not doing a good enough job, especially the HV. With DS she told me he was "too big" at 7 weeks because he was 12lb 3oz, when I asked how much he should have gained since birth she told me 3lb give or take. I pointed out that his birth weight plus 3lb is 12lb 3oz. She just repeated that this was too big for a 7 week old. Cow Silly old bat.

I will transfer to the midwife unit at my local hospital for my post natal care where it's one to one, I have my own room, and can stay as long as I like rather than stay at the city hospital where the staff are rushed off their feet, the care is impersonal, and I was treated like a hypochondriac for wanting to stay overnight instead of just six hours.

I won't buy a baby bath, putting baby in the tub with me or DH is much easier and is a lovely way of having skin to skin time. I'm actually going to be a little bit sad when DS gets too old to go in the tub with me.

I will not decide after just three months that it's time to try for another one because "this is easy". Three month olds lay there, but then they grow and turn into toddlers and toddlers are not easy, they're bloody tiring.

sneakapeak · 15/02/2011 20:33

Relax! Stop running myself ragged trying too hard and worrying so much.

They will sleep - eventually.

They will seem to get better - then turn day into night and feeding will go tits up (if you pardon the pun), so what, tomorrow another day.

Even as toddlers and children, they suddenly go through a bighting/not eating/hitting/getting up through the night/genrally being a PITA. Then be perfect again next week Wink.

Enjoy the pregnancy and stop fretting.

AND last but not least, I wish I would stop worrying about them growing too fast and just enjoy NOW.

sneakapeak · 15/02/2011 20:33

biting!

5GoMadOnAZ650 · 15/02/2011 20:36

Enjoy every second of pregnancy as it would be my 5th baby and likely to be my last.

Think of hilarious retorts to the inevitable question "are you just trying for a boy?" (we have 4 dd's and are not fussed if we never have a boy!)

WorzselMummage · 15/02/2011 20:38

Refuse to be treated in pregnancy by anyone but a top consultant at a top teaching hospital ( I have VERY complicated pregnancies)

Apart from that i'd change nothing. My kids are wonderful, I've made a good job of it so far :)

Backinthebox · 16/02/2011 21:11

I'm a BFing, co-sleeping, slingwearing, baby-led-weaning mother of 2, and the only thing I would do differently would be to glare even harder at anyone who told me I was doing it wrong. Grin Before anyone gets the idea I am a wiffly-waffly hippy type, in real life I have a very unusual job for a woman, and am also a very competitive sportswoman. I think both of those things gave me the confidence to do things the way I wanted to right from the start.

Actually, I've just thought of something I would do differently - I'd have the bottle of Infacol bought in before I discovered I needed it at 3am!

specialknickers · 16/02/2011 21:46

I'd burn all the books and spend all day in bed / on the sofa breast feeding instead of fretting about what I (and the baby) "should" be doing. Next time: my house, my rules. Hell yeah.

Screw expressing - what a depressing waste of time that was. Ugh. Never again. Seriously, what is the point of it?

Also, more sleeping and less cleaning would be good.

DownyEmerald · 16/02/2011 21:47

Make sure that dp takes a nice photo of the two of us together - just a nice head shot. I just don't have one, except a too far away one that dp's dad took which is a nice shot but I have a great double chin.

It looks stupid written down, but I really feel so sad about this (photography/photographs important to me) that I would like another baby just to get this one right.

The co-sleeping, BFing etc I would do all the same again. I would start slinging earlier (buy a different sort of sling so I can) and I would buy an Amby the instant I got an inkling it wasn't a self-settler for naps instead of umming and ahhing for a few weeks.

Try to fret less. But that would mean changing me!

specialknickers · 16/02/2011 21:48

Oh and I'll buy one of those thermos mugs. Why didn't I think of that last time?