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Original poster

SON TALKS ABOUT IMAGINERY FRIEND

30 replies

spurs12345 · 06/02/2011 23:20

Hoping someone can help. For the past 5 years my son has been talking to an imaginery friend. At first I asked him who he is talking to and he just kept saying to myself. Then 3 months after him talking to himself he started talking about an imaginery friend. Not to us but to himself. Like for example he would say come and sit over here and are you listening to me. He would also ask questions to this imaginery friend of his and wait for a reply and answer his questions as well. Hope that makes sense. Anyway about 1 year ago he got up in the night to go toilet. Usually he gets up and goes on his own but this time he called for me to take him. So I did and he insisted on me waiting outside for him. Very unlike him as passage light was on. As he came out he said to me mind my friend standing by the door. Completely spooked me out but put him back to bed. As I left to go to bed I could hear him again talking and answering to this imaginery friend of his. Then 6 months after that he was upstairs in his room playing. Daughter was playing in her room and my son told her to play with him in his room. As I went upstairs to put away some clothes my daughter said to me that my son told her about his new friend. My son then stood up and said to me look mummy he is there behind you looking at you. I said that no-one was there. That night my daughter went toilet and as I put her back to bed she turned to the top of the stairs and said look mummy xxxx friend is there. tell him to go away. Any advice please.

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Original poster

spurs12345 · 06/02/2011 23:23

Son is 10 and daughter is 7.

OP posts:

Valpollicella · 06/02/2011 23:23

Depends how old you son is, but sounds perfectly normal re an imaginary friend :)

What worries you about it?

Original poster

spurs12345 · 06/02/2011 23:26

I did say my son is 10. What worries me is that it could be a ghost or something. It also worries me because I sometimes have to be alone when husband works shift work and Im too scared to go to bed because of what my kids are saying and having to deal with them if they wake up at night talking about it.

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StuffingGoldBrass · 06/02/2011 23:29

There are no such things as ghosts. Lots of kids have imaginary friends, it's a sign that they are imaginative and probably likely to be artistic.
My DS who is 6 has an imaginary baby, which recently led to me having to explain to his class teacher that no, I haven't been PG and concealing it from them and nor am I leaving a baby somewhere when I go to pick DS up from school, but the baby is DS' baby and, er, 'invisible'.

Valpollicella · 06/02/2011 23:32

It's not a ghost!

We xposted re ages by about 20 seconds.

Honestly, it's very very normal.

auntyfash · 06/02/2011 23:34

I was going to say that imaginary friends are pretty common, but at 10 years old I'm not so sure. I don't believe for one second that it's a ghost though. The fact that your dd claims to have seen the friend too doesn't worry me, me and my sis had the same imaginary friends, as did 2 of my sons.

auntyfash · 06/02/2011 23:35

Have you tried talking to him about his friend?

headfairy · 06/02/2011 23:37

He's not called Soren Lorenson is he? :o

Sorry but being flippant. My sister had an imaginary friend for years when we were little. I think she used him as an excuse to tease me even more than she normally did, "I'm not playing with you headfairy, X and I are playing a lovely game and you can't join in, so ner" type of thing. Irritated the life out of me. She used to have in jokes with her friend too. Really annoying!

auntyfash · 06/02/2011 23:37

Just googled and it seems that it's not that uncommon at that age to have an imaginary friend after all.

Original poster

spurs12345 · 06/02/2011 23:42

When I ask him about his friend he says to me that my friend told me not to talk about him. My daughter says the same. Also it is spooking me out quite abit. What do I say next time they talk about this imaginery friend and how shall I act if I hear my son talking to this imaginery friend? I dont like to just ignore it if they are talking to me about it though. I want them to kind of know Im taking them seriously.

OP posts:

auntyfash · 07/02/2011 00:02

I'd just go along with it. Seriously, it's all perfectly normal, so try not to worry about it.
One of my lads had this imaginary friend that was a bad man and had been to prison for stealing :o I do remember being quite spooked at the time cos my ds went into great detail about this man, but now I can laugh about it. Nothing bad happened, he didn't get whisked off to another dimension or anything, he just eventually forgot all about him.

StuffingGoldBrass · 07/02/2011 00:47

The only time you need to be concerned about imaginary friends is if the imaginary friend is causing the child distress eg scaring the child. It's still not a fucking ghost if it's scaring the child as there is no such thing but it is a symptom of some ongoing distress if that happens, which needs investigating.

TheMotherOfAllDilemmas · 07/02/2011 01:18

They are too old for imaginary friends, are you sure they are not trying to scare you?

oxeye · 07/02/2011 01:33

My son's imaginary friend has done a wee in the bed tonight

My imaginary friend is telling me to get some

why does it spook you? (not meaning to be flippant)

WingDad · 07/02/2011 01:35

It's pretty normal for his age. I had an imaginary friend when I was around his age (a bit younger). He was awesome

It can be a number of reasons, for me I was lonely, but for others (as has been said) it can be a sign of creativity and vivid imagination.

Maelstrom · 07/02/2011 02:00

They are too old for imaginary friends, are you sure they are not trying to scare you?

Original poster

spurs12345 · 07/02/2011 08:11

Im in two minds whether they are trying to scare me or not. First of all this is not an all of a sudden thing. As I said in my post my son has been talking to his "imaginery friend" for the past 5 years. Also why would they want to scare me for? Its not like them to want to scare me. My son has not only told me about his "imaginery friend" he has told my husband, both sets of grandparents, his cousins and his best friend.

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Maelstrom · 07/02/2011 12:24

You sooo need the ghost wisdom of ExpatInScotland...

Rainbowbubbles · 07/02/2011 14:19

Children are very sensitive to this sort of thing - it may be a spirit but also nothing to worry about. Oooh i can tell you a few stories about my childhood ha ha!

I'm quite sensitive to this sort of thing - we have "someone" at our house, my husband swore he saw a little boy and it scars the living daylights out of him don't know why i find that funny. I have someone who plays in out little boys room (when he's not there, you can hear the toys, also has touched me on the shoulder and knee trying to wake me, hidden things, turns things on and off. I sometimes talk to him or her and if i need something they have hidden i ask for it and it comes back....no i'm not crazy ha ha! it seems to be more interested in me and on occasions my dh but never the children.

There's no need to be scared (hard i know) i would acknowledge it with your son and ask if he's scared, if he is then you can ask the "friend" to go away....he may just oblige!

StuffingGoldBrass · 07/02/2011 15:21

Oh FFS the last thing the OP needs is to be told a lot of woo and bollocks about something perfectly harmless and normal (a child's vivid imagination).
Grow the fuck up, ghosts don't exist.

Rainbowbubbles · 07/02/2011 15:37

of course they don't spirits do though sorry to burst your bubble.

StuffingGoldBrass · 07/02/2011 18:27

"Redrum! Redruuuuuuuum!" .

Original poster

spurs12345 · 07/02/2011 19:22

grow up stuffinggoldbrass

OP posts:

cory · 08/02/2011 08:44

The one thing that would slightly concern me here is the lack of social development in a 10yo who still talks to others about his imaginary friend. Most 10s have learnt to keep their inner lives to themselves and are very afraid of appearing different or childish. He sounds immature. Not haunted.

Rainbowbubbles · 08/02/2011 09:16

I don't really think a 10 year old can lack maturity, I think at that age they ARE still immature and if they do have an imaginary friend be it their imagination or a spirit friend and as long as he is happy within himself and not frightened then i can't see the problem really. I think boys mature slower than girls anyway

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