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Original poster

would you leave your baby in a locked car?

213 replies

Friendlygirl · 11/10/2005 10:47

have left my baby sleeping in my locked car while I dashed into the supermarket to buy a couple of things. Would any of you do that? Is it even l;egal? It worried me but I would rather do that than wake them up and sometimes I just have to get sometyhing from the shop for tea.

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Rhubarb · 11/10/2005 14:01

How about leaving your child in the care of someone you have just met, i.e shop assistant, then going off out of sight of your child! Not having a go, just using it as an example. In an ideal world we'd all be sahm's living our lives in accordance with our kids. But this is not an ideal world and I think parents can be forgiven for the odd lapse in care, so long as it is the odd lapse and not something done regularly.

queenoffe, I take it you've never done anything remotely irresponsible with your children then?

ladymuck · 11/10/2005 14:07

Rhubarb - depends on your definition of a stranger - I've been shopping there for 15 years. It's always one of two possible staff. So technically a stranger (I don't socialise with her), but again, a pretty low risk that this is the one time she decides to grab my pram and wander off to make a new life for herself. Risk assessment is down to a combination of the probability of an event happening and the likely impact. Here we are all afraid of likely impact, but actually the risks are pretty small.

And when we talk about cars combusting/ door electrics not working - yes these are all tragedies. But what could you do even if you were in the car??? Sorry - if a car window traps your child's head when there is no key in the car - what do you do? Likewise your car goes on fire whilst you're in the front seat. You're sitting in a petrol station on top of flammable petrol - Yes it's a tragedy, but frankly all that happens is you die too.

Petrol stations are hazardous - if you're that wound up I'd avoid them with kids, but traipsing 3 kids up to the shop to pay for your petrol is not safer than leaving thwm in a locked car. And you are not "abandoning" them fgs.

Bozza · 11/10/2005 14:16

Seems like I am the only one with a sensible DS then.

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queenoffe · 11/10/2005 14:18

Way I see it Rhubarb is its about instinct mostly, and ability to see into the future. Putting down safe feet, one after the other. Plod plod plod. Trust in a stranger can feel right and you have to trust yourself to know the best answer.

I just think you "use up" your natural good luck when you take the piss out of situations like, Ill just bomb in here for the milk, flossies ok for a min. You get away with it almost always, but its not wise. Its not wise to do it

As for me Rhubarb, as soft in the head as the rest of us and bloomin lucky to be here! Oh sister some of the things i done........!!!

Rhubarb · 11/10/2005 14:23

Guess we'll just have to differ on this one queenoffe!

queenoffe · 11/10/2005 14:23

ps i agree lady muck on the petrol thing you are there and available, but parked up and jolly off to the supermarket is going way past reasonable.

tortoiseshell · 11/10/2005 14:24

I think it's a balance of risk. At a petrol station I always leave the kids locked in the car, because I think they are more at risk on the forecourt than in my parked car. And I can see the car at all times. I wouldn't leave them to go shopping, although I have left them at home (when dd was asleep, ds watching CBeebies) to post a letter (was less than a minute though).

queenoffe · 11/10/2005 14:26

I agree!

Rhubarb · 11/10/2005 14:27

I disagree!

queenoffe · 11/10/2005 14:27

(Rhubarb)!

queenoffe · 11/10/2005 14:28

i meant I agree with you Rhubarb, we may just have to differ!! tc

lynny70 · 11/10/2005 14:40

Message deleted

melissasmummy · 11/10/2005 14:49

Never.

There was a bomb scare at Luton station recently (following the July 7 attacks). A woman went dashing back to her car as she had left her children in the car. She was told she couldn't go to them as the area was cordend off.

A police officer had to put his life at risk to retreive the childre as this woman had left them to go shopping as they took to long to do what she needed to do.

Only last week a 2 yr old killed himself when he trod on an automatic window button & trapped his head in the window, trying to get out of a car when he woke up.

Extreme examples I know, but things can happen to children left in cars. IMO it isn't worth the risks.

handlemecarefully · 11/10/2005 14:50

Yes they are rather extreme examples...

codface · 11/10/2005 14:52

the window thing made me shudder

CuriousMama · 11/10/2005 14:53

doubt it's legal as someone was recently caught in our town and she was arrested and SS involved. She'd left a baby and a kid.

I'd never do it btw.

melissasmummy · 11/10/2005 15:01

Having read previous posts re the baby trapped in the window, I wasn't aware when I posted that he had climbed in car, so I retract it.

IMO, we all think of the risk to an unattended child is that of being snatched. What happens if another car hits your car, your car overheats & blows up? These things do, can & have happened.

mandymac · 11/10/2005 15:14

When I was about 5 and my sister was 3, my mum left us in the car, parked on a hill to drop off or pick up washing at the laundrette. My sister trod on the hand brake (can't have had one of the button thingys) and basically the car started rolling down the hill. Lucky I was a very observant kid and remembered very fast that the handbrake should go up. A neighbour found me hysterical and went and got my mum. nb: She still used to leave us in the car occassionally, but not on hills.

This was the early 70's and I think this kind of thing was just much more acceptable then.

trefusis · 11/10/2005 15:40

This reply has been deleted

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PiccadillyCircus · 11/10/2005 15:56

I have left DS in the car to go and pay for petrol, but don't like it. I make an effort to use pay at pump instead, or go when I am on my own. I wouldn't want to take him in (or now there is DD as well both of them).

Don't think I could go into a supermarket and leave them in the car. If I saw children in the car on their own I wouldn't feel happy about it, so I wouldn't do it myself.

Original poster
Friendlygirl · 11/10/2005 16:47

Hello all and thanks for all interesting replies. I was the one to post the original question. Seems to me most think that it is OK to leave baby alone as long as you can see them. One more scenario to add: when I drop ds1 at nursery I leave dd1 in the car whether she is asleep or not. My reasoning is: she is in the back car seat anyway since toddler seat fixed in front I have no choice - so cannot see me when I am driving anyway; I will only be 2 mins; I have loads of bags to carry as well as ds1 since there are lots of cars; ds1 would be less unhappy at me going were he not aware that I am going home with baby. What do you think?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 11/10/2005 16:59

Exactly why I leave ds in car when taking dd to school. It's safer! She has her bag to carry as well as lots of other things she needs for school, I have to keep hold of her hand as there are cars parking and reversing, and ds is at that age when he is forever straining to get away from me and play under a bloody cars wheels! Much safer to leave him strapped in the van imo!

ghosty · 12/10/2005 02:25

I have and will still leave the children in the car when I pay for petrol (agree with those that say they are safer IN the car than on the forecourt ... ) I will leave them in the car to pop into a (just one) shop IF I can park right outside the door of the shop (or right outside the cashpoint or right outside the video shop to drop a video back or whatever).
I won't leave them in the car for a dash to the supermarket ... what if there was a long queue and it took 10 or more minutes. I won't leave DD in the car while I drop DS off at school ...
even if she is asleep when I pick him up. It is too far and would be at least 10 minutes ... too long IMO.
The main reason for this is not that I think they would be stolen or anything but mainly because it wouldn't be fair to DS (who is nearly 6) to be put in a position of awful terror IF someone DID try to get in the car. Also DD would be livid if I left her for so long and she would cry and cry and cry and I couldn't do that to her ...
When I am in the petrol station I wave at them and make funny faces (much to the amusement of the assistants!)

NightHowl · 12/10/2005 02:48

i dont drive so i cant really say..i imagine i wouldnt.

i remember one time when i was with my partner and he parked up and nipped into his mother's house. he was gone approx. 2 mins. i chose to stay in the car, ds was in the back.

next thing i know, the car is rolling backwards down the road (sudden discovery of a dodgy handbrake). i panicked, (side street leading into a main road) and threw myself into the drivers seat to slam on the brake (frantically trying to remember which pedal IS the brake!, messing with the handbrake at the same time) i dont know what i did but the car stopped. im just so glad that i stayed in the car. not something i would imagine as happening often, but it still did.

dp came back to see us much further down the road, me shaking and looking rather pale!

mumfor1sttime · 12/10/2005 09:25

I leave ds in the car while Im unloading the shopping, but wouldnt leave him outside a shop.
Asda where I live has a drive-thru petrol station, so I always use that.

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