would you leave your baby in a locked car?

[Friendlygirl]

have left my baby sleeping in my locked car while I dashed into the supermarket to buy a couple of things. Would any of you do that? Is it even l;egal? It worried me but I would rather do that than wake them up and sometimes I just have to get sometyhing from the shop for tea.

ok, What would you do if your child stated to choke?

I've left her to pay for petrol in a petrol station and once parked right outside a shop with an all glass front and ran my film in for developing, but never take my eye off her/the car, just wouldn't be able to do it. Could never go out of sight.

I leave ds in the car when I get petrol. He stays in the car when I run into the coop to get milk too. I don't think I would like to leave a baby because people pinch babies. I live in a nice area and the car is in sight at all times.

I wouldn't leave him in a hotel room and I wouldn't leave him with a babysitter under the age of 20 or without references.

The toddler climbed into the parked car because it's window was open. Would you blame the parents for that accident?
If the baby is sleeping in the car seat, it is hardly likely to choke is it? Would you watch your baby 24 hours a day just to make sure that it didn't choke?
Parents should not be made to feel bad because they have chosen to do something you would not do. It's everyone's choice! Sure, parents can be irresponsible, I'm sure I have, but for one-offs I think they can be forgiven.

O.K.
I did a very bad thing.
And I will never do it again.
Left Ds, 17 mths in car, whilst went into sainsburys for 3 items.
Away a good few minutes.
Came back Ds still asleep.

Woman in car next to me went mad and said it was awful, irresponsible etc etc.

Cried and cried and cried.
Haven't done it since.
But up until that point, hadn't really given it a second thought.

Bad idea.
Stigma attached to it is very bad.

I agree that its hardly likely but the question was, what would you do if they did?

Sorry Rach, but that is the other woman's problem and not yours. Frankly it is none of her business. Different if your son was overheating or in distress - she should have gone into the shop and asked for a call to go out.

rhuby I would not blame the parents at all, it was a tragic accident.
If you choose to leave your child unattended that is your business, I choose not to.

What would I do if ds started choking in his cot upstairs whilst I am down here on MN and listening to the radio? I could think of a million and one things that might happen to my kids at any given time. It's crazy.

But you can't plan your life around sponetaneously combusting cars (let's face it if you're trapped in one yourself you're not going to have much of a chance), or sleeping babies who suddenly choke (which could equally happen in the middle of the night presumably). Aren't you at a greater risk of having a child who becomes totally incapable of assessing danger? (Better for them to be outside a car wandering on a road/station forecourt, than sitting insinde the car in case of sponetaneous combustion?).

Doormat - are you the woman who takes her 6 and 4 yearolds into the loo with her at home (sorry I can't remember who it was now)?

RachD I would have told her "Congratulations for being such a wonderful parent and for never ever making a mistake or ever taking a risk, you truly are a wonderful human being and you make me feel so humble to be in your presence!"

Come on now! Stop making parents feel so crap! Hands up anyone who has NEVER EVER done something a little irresponsible with their children!

No I am not ladymuck

Actually Rhubarb, I don't see some of these things as being irresponsible! But perhaps some of you do live in areas where these things happen frequently.

But lady muck, that is the point. How would you know that your child was ok? You would expect a passing stranger to call you in the supermarket if your child was in distress???

..if you leave your child in a car, alone, you abandon them.

It's odd because in my mum's day they all left babies outside the shops in their prams while they got the shopping in.
What has changed? The risk or the perception of that risk?
I'd be too nervous to leave my baby in the car at a supermarket, but I have and would do it at a petrol station. Even then I feel a bit nervous.

If I leave my child, alone, in their room whilst I am sat outside, then I abandon them.

Better report me then!

I agree HoH I use the pay at the pumps ones, even if I am crap at doing it - put all the cards in the wrong order and buttons confused!
DD2 would scream the place down if I left her awake, it's just easier to take her in, I just have to be more organised with the shopping!

Personally, no I wouldn't - I'm pointing out that if the other woman had a concern her most appropriate action should have been to try and locate the mother, not sit and wait and launch into a lecture!

I expect that I wouldn't leave my child for that long, but yes, if something totally unexpected turned up - I don't know , say an elephant fallying out of the sky on top of my car- then yes, I would expect any passer-bys to help out. Whether or not I was in the car!!!
But then I live in the sort of area where people help me with my bags if they see that my toddler is being a handful. Or the woman downstairs in a local shop will keep an eye on my pram if I go upstairs.

Agree with custy. It is all about risk assessment. 'What ifs' can always be turned around and thankfully I don't bother with them. Or I'd never leave the house.

Hmm i would never leave ds in the car now as he is 3yrs old and knows how to get out of his seat and open the car door, to avoid this with things like getting petrol i either take him in the petrol station with me or fill the car up when dp is here or he does it for me!

I always take ds into the supermarket, when ds was a tiny baby i did leave him in the car once to pop into the local paper shop but i could still see him out of the window, i would never leave a baby in the car and go shopping in a supermarket, just my opinion but i think it's wrong, i am talking about big supermarkets like tesco and sainsburys.

What put me off was a lady left her son in locked in her car and went to pay for her petrol and where it was a boiling hot day and obviously she had had a lighter in direct sun light, when she was paying for her petrol her car set on fire as the lighter had exploded, my sister told me this story and i have never forgotten it.

So you've left your child in the care of a stranger whilst you did your shopping ladymuck????

It's also about what you perceive to be a risk. I wouldn't leave my baby in the care of a shop assistant, but I would leave them in the car for 10 mins.

dd1 needed to go to the toilet when we were in Asda the other day, no way the double buggy would fit in the toilet so I asked the woman on customer services to mind dd2 whilst I went in.

Didn't cross my mind not to do it. You could argue that she could have been deranged/a mad baby stealer/pretending to work at Asda but I really think you do what you think is best in each situation.

Maybe I should have let dd1 pee her pants.

I also leave them outside the bakery when buying gingerbreadmen bribes but I can see their faces pressed against the window so I presume this is not neglect.

If you are unable to interact with your child and their environment and aid them if they are in distress then you have "abandoned" them.

If you forsake this ability and hand it over to another care provider (eg creche) then thats care by proxy.

In your home you move about within your environment together and do not forsake your role as you are able to check on your child and react to them as is fit. EG pop your head round the door if they go quiet, of make a funny noise, or as the feeling/instict directs you.

BUT.. you immediatley abandon this role and abandon your child if you leave your child alone in the car and go shopping.